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Once I was in front of the sink, I slowly lifted my head and sucked in a sharp breath. Both of my eyes were swollen with purple and blue bruises surrounding them. My nose was swollen as well and a little off center. There was a cut across the bridge. I had a bandage above one of my eyes, and I knew there were three small stitches there. My hand had a thick bandage around it where Steven’s shoe ripped the skin. Underneath my clothes there were also a few bruises on my back, thighs, hips, and ribs. Overall, my body had sustained worse, but the pain of those injuries was so much more because of the events leading up to them.
I wet a washcloth and tenderly washed my face and brushed my teeth. Once I was done, I gathered my courage to walk back out to Jaxon, Chris, and Jaxon’s family. When I opened the door, I saw Chris sitting on Jaxon’s bed waiting for me.
I walked over to her and sat beside her. She grabbed my uninjured hand and placed both of ours on her lap.
“How are you doing?” she asked me quietly.
I shrugged and told her the truth. “Physically I’ve felt worse, but mentally I can’t help but feel this is my entire fault. I know Jaxon doesn’t blame me, but if I hadn’t come here, Anna would still be alive.”
“That may be true, but do you honestly think that Jaxon would wish you away so Anna would still be here? It’s a shame what happened to her. She sounded like a very special girl, but you have to remember you’re special too. You’re loved just as much as her. Steven was a sick bastard. If it weren’t her, it would have been someone else. Jaxon loves you, don’t let this guilt eat away at you. You’ve been through enough. It’s time for you to be happy.”
She reached over and pulled me closer to her side. I laid my head there and took in her words. I didn’t say anything in return. I knew what she said is true, I just needed to learn to accept it.
“I really like him,” she said, breaking the silence. “He’s the kind of man you should have had all along.”
“I love him, Chris. So much.”
Several minutes passed before we both quietly got up and made our way to a solemn living room. From where I was standing I could see Lilly, Tricia, and Gram in the kitchen, drinking coffee. Hunter was occupying the kids in the backyard. Mia was sitting in a recliner, staring off into space. Jaxon was seated on his couch. When he saw me, he held out his arm, gesturing for me to sit with him. I walked over and planted my butt next to him. He threw his arm over my shoulder, pulling me to his side. I lay there with my head on his chest and watched the kids laughing and playing until my eyes drifted closed.
* * *
IT’S BEEN A MONTH SINCE Anna died and the pain of it is still there, but not quite as debilitating. Nothing will ever be the same without her, but we’re all learning to cope and move forward. I’ve started counseling to help with my past experiences, and surprisingly it’s a relief to talk to someone about it.
I still work at Jaxon’s Pub and through my counseling I’ve learned how to better handle myself. The thought of men flirting with me no longer frightens me. Of course, they never get the chance because Jaxon hovers over me and threatens anyone who even thinks about me that way.
Andrew is still his flirty self and is constantly giving Jaxon hell. I love working with him as he always has something to say to make me laugh or smile. Mia has grown quieter, and the animosity between her and Mac has grown. They can’t be in the same room together without biting each other’s heads off.
Nick finally started coming around again, but he’s not the same happy-go-lucky Nick he was before. His face carries a constant scowl and he’s easily riled. Every time I see him there’s pain in his eyes and it breaks my heart all over again. I wish there were something I could do, but I know he just needs time.
After I got home from the hospital, Chris stayed until after the funeral. She decided that she really likes it up here in Ohio and wants to move here to be closer to me once she graduates. I’m really looking forward to it. I miss my best friend.
* * *
“I LOVE YOU, ANGEL,” Jaxon whispers in my ear as he slowly thrusts into me. I have my arms wrapped around his neck and my legs around his hips. Jaxon has his arms under my shoulders so I’m lying on them. Our chests are smashed together. We’re as close as two people can get.
Jaxon nibbles and sucks a path from my ear to my collarbone. I throw my head back and release a deep moan. Jaxon always knows just what to do to bring my body to life.
He removes one arm and puts it under one of my legs. This new position lifts me higher and allows him to go deeper. With each downward motion he hits my clit, which sends tingles over every inch of my body.
“Oh Jaxon, yes!” I moan.
Jaxon growls in response. “Fuck, angel. You feel so good. So goddamn tight.”
I love it when he talks dirty to me. His words aren’t meant to insult but to tell me how much he enjoys what he’s feeling.
Jaxon moves his hips faster, enticing another moan from me. I grip his hair and bring his lips to mine. We devour each other’s mouths, tangling tongues and nipping lips. The tingles in my body are turning into sparks.
Bringing his other hand down and placing it under my butt, he lifts me even farther and grinds himself down on me. The sensations to my clit are too much for me to bear and with my head thrown back with a shout, I explode around him. With his head buried in my neck Jaxon lets out a grunt when he reaches his own climax.
Several minutes later has me running my hands over Jaxon’s hard chest while he plays with my hair. Our breathing has evened out and we’re relaxing in bed, just enjoying the silence.
“Marry me, angel,” Jaxon says, breaking the silence and leaving me speechless.
I am so stunned at his suggestion that it takes me a few seconds before I can respond.
“But we hardly know each other,” I tell him something he already knows. The thought of marrying Jaxon is both thrilling and frightening. I know he is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with, but I don’t want him to regret it later. “And you know I can’t give you babies.” This thought saddens me. Jaxon would make such an excellent father.
He rolls to his side and cups my jaw. “I know everything I need to know. I want you forever. Everything else can come later. I want to wake up with you every morning and fall asleep with you in my arms every night. I want to sit out on our porch and watch the wildlife walk by. I want to take you on rides on my bike and make love to you by the lake. I want to share life’s troubles with you and make good memories. No other woman will do. You’re my angel. As far as babies, who says we can’t adopt? And if that’s not something you want to do then that’s fine too. I need you. If a baby comes along I’ll love it just as strongly as I love you, but I don’t need a baby to feel complete. I need you for that.”
