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“That I was broken. I’m still broken, but I’m better at controlling it now. Except around you, apparently. Sorry I keep crying in front of you. It’s really embarrassing.” Piper’s face heated again, and she was sure it was already red from the tear tracks, so the blush had to be doing wonders for her complexion.
“You never have to apologize to me for feeling, Piper. I’ll say that however many times you need to hear it.”
Leo’s hand was resting on the center console, and with no warning at all, Piper reached out and squeezed it. His eyes went wide as he jerked his head away from the road to look at their entwined hands, and the shocked expression on his face made Piper immediately retreat. The impulse to hold his hand had come out of left field, so she couldn’t blame him for his reaction. It wasn’t like they were anything to each other than travel companions, reluctant co-workers, and a one-night stand. She couldn’t imagine a world where Leonardo Diaz liked her enough to actually hold her hand.
Thirty-Eight
PIPER
“Emma, you’re flat! From the top!”
“Emma, that’s not your mark. Run it back!”
“That’s your line, Emma.”
“Now you’re too sharp!”
“If we have to do this one more time, I’m going to lose my goddamn mind.”
“How did you forget every single one of your lines over the break?”
“Focus, Emma, I’m begging.”
“Well, we have to get this scene down, so I guess run it again.”
Each new remark that came out of Leo’s mouth got harsher and grumpier as their first rehearsal back from break turned into a breeding ground for mistakes. Piper had watched Emma repeat the same scene so many times she was starting to wince every time Leo called a restart. Emma was botching lines left and right. Her usually flawless voice cracked with strain, and she looked weak and tired, like the very last thing she wanted to do was to be in rehearsal, keeping face. Piper could read it easily. Whatever vibrant and magnetic energy Emma had had before, when she had pulled people in through song and personality—she was barely a shadow of that person now.
After studying with her several times, Piper thought she knew Emma’s character pretty well. She wasn’t scatterbrained. She didn’t come to rehearsal with anything but her best, which meant today, with her failed notes and failed acting, was her best. That thought made Piper catalog Emma’s appearance next. She was dressed in the same grunge wear as normal, but she was more buttoned-up than usual, as if she were cold or sick. The way Leo’s grandmother had thrown on a knitted cardigan at one point during dinner because her body couldn’t quite warm up on its own. The thought made Piper’s stomach drop.
As rehearsal continued, Piper watched Leo fret and huff over Emma’s performance, constantly dragging his fingers through his hair in frustration. The more time passed, the more Piper was getting irritated that Leo couldn’t stop for one second to regroup and notice that something was clearly wrong. Moreno had called out of today’s rehearsal when his wife had ended up in the hospital over the break, and that could have in part been why everyone seemed on edge, but it didn’t justify Leo’s inability to have nuance. He couldn’t read the room. He was too focused on the show and on getting every detail right to pay attention to the facts. The ones that seemed so glaringly obvious that Piper could pick up on Emma’s turmoil from the last row of the theatre. Whatever was going on, it wasn’t good, and Leo was not helping.
And so, Piper held her tongue. She would wait for the opportune moment to tell Leo that he had his head so far up his ass that he couldn’t see what was right in front of him.
The holidays were a special time of year for a lot of people, but the season could also bring about sorrow and heartbreak. After her parents’ deaths, birthdays, Thanksgiving, and Christmas always felt more sad than celebratory, and Piper still had a family that cared about her. She wasn’t sure exactly what Emma’s home situation was, but Piper was already reeling through endless possible Thanksgiving fiascos that could have snuffed out Emma’s spark.
Apology after apology spewed from Emma’s mouth every time she did something wrong, and while Piper knew the mistakes weren’t intentional, Leo seemed to be taking them as a personal affront to his very being. When Leo finally called it quits at the end of their rehearsal, furiously scratching a note onto his clipboard with a heavy hand, Piper collected her anger and shoved it into a box in the back of her mind before approaching Emma.
“Hey.” Emma nodded in her direction, and Piper gave her a smile back.
“Hey, how was your Thanksgiving?” Piper sat down beside her on the edge of the stairs.
“Pretty good. My family already has the tree up for Christmas because they’re all a bunch of hoes for the holidays. I think I’m still filled to the brim with cider and turkey,” Emma said. Her tone was bland, like she was saying something that would normally make her laugh or smile, but without the feeling behind it.
“Nice.” Piper nodded and searched for a follow-up question. If it wasn’t her family, then maybe Emma really was sick. “Are you cold?”
“No. Are you?” Emma asked. “They finally fixed the heating in here, thank God.”
“Oh.” Piper shook her head. “No, I’m good.”
“Look… I’m sorry I was a shit show today.” Emma looked up at the ceiling. “I promise I’ll do better next time. I guess I just wasn’t feeling it.”
“We all have our days.” Piper shrugged. The way Emma was avoiding eye contact solidified it for her. Something was very wrong, and while Emma didn’t seem open to telling her, Piper could at least fix one problem. “Well, I gotta go talk to Leo about one of my scenes. See you tomorrow for our usual study session?” Emma turned her head even farther from Piper as she nodded. No words. No agreement. No anything.
Leo was standing with Sam, looking as furious as ever as Piper stomped over to him.
“I need to talk to you,” Piper said sharply.
“Okay, talk,” Leo sighed. He was patently irritated by her interruption of whatever ruthless notes he was making on his clipboard, and she could not give less of a fuck.
