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“Because of your parents,” Thea said. It wasn’t a question, but more of an acknowledgment that Piper wasn’t crazy for feeling that way.
“Yes.” Piper let out a long sigh. “And I know it’s not healthy to shut people out to protect myself, but I don’t let you see how much I’m still not okay after my parents’ deaths. I don’t think I’ll ever be okay, and adding more people I love to my life just feels so reckless.”
“You think I don’t notice?” Thea’s voice was calm but pained. “I know, Piper. I bake your favorite desserts when I notice you’re crying in your room. I see the way you hesitate every time you get in your car, and I know why. I see when you take out your inspiration box for comfort. And I know why you choose who you date. It doesn’t hurt you much when it ends because you never truly liked them in the first place. I think I even know why you were so secretive about Leo.”
A tear threatened to slip down Piper’s face as she slowly started to realize the magnitude of what Thea was saying. Every time she had woken up after a long night and Thea had been there with scones, every time Thea had offered to use her car to drive them wherever they were going. The understanding look Thea had given her when Piper had started dating Todd, and the one after things with Todd had ended. What she didn’t understand was Thea’s last statement.
“Why do you think I’m so secretive about Leo?” Piper asked.
Thea sat back in her chair and met Piper’s eyes directly. “Because he’s not like the others. This isn’t someone you just allow yourself to be around. He wasn’t chosen, he just happened. He gets under your skin and is there whether you want him to be or not. I think it feels real to you, and you didn’t want me to know because then you’d have to face some stuff you don’t want to face.”
Piper’s chest flipped as she shoved down her rising panic. Real was the exact opposite of what she wanted. “No. That’s not it, I just—I told you a billion times that I hated him, and I was embarrassed by my lack of self-control. You and Yuri are just so perfect and loving that I thought it’d be weird for me to tell you that Leo and I are fucked up. I mean, who settles an argument by hooking up in the dressing room after rehearsal? That can’t be normal.”
Thea’s eyes went wide, and she jolted forward to the edge of her chair. “Oh my God, you have seriously been holding out on me! You think I would judge you for doing extremely hot things? Have you met me? Sex is literally my favorite thing to talk about, and you, finally having good sex? I’m here for it. Also, Yuri and I got into an argument about a literal potato chip the other day, so clearly we aren’t perfect.”
“It doesn’t matter with Leo, really, because it’s not like we’re in a relationship. It’s purely physical. We agreed to keep real feelings out of it.”
“What was the argument about?” Thea narrowed her eyes, and Piper suddenly felt the room shrink as if she were in the middle of an interrogation.
“Emma. Leo was getting frustrated at rehearsal because she kept missing her lines and singing her songs all pitchy. He didn’t notice that she was clearly having a bad day and just assumed she was being lazy about her work, so I pulled him aside and told him to get his head out of his ass and open his eyes.” Piper folded her arms over her chest.
“And then you hooked up, and?” Thea rolled her hands over one another.
“Then he said he would talk to Emma, and when he realized I was right, he called me to come talk to her.” Piper covered her face with her hands and groaned into her palms. “And then I basically canceled our plans to do it again at his apartment later that night by inviting Emma over, and he didn’t even blink.”
“So… he’s clearly listening to you,” Thea said, a secret smile dancing behind her eyes that Piper wanted to put an end to immediately. “What did you two do today besides rail each other into oblivion?”
“He got all irritated that I didn’t buy the coffee I wanted the other day when I just got your order for everyone and demanded to come to the coffee shop with me this morning. I didn’t know that was why he was there till we got up to the counter and he made me ask for my stupid fancy drink.” Piper saw the wry smile play across Thea’s lips and quickly added, “Then we went back to his apartment and agreed that this is casual.”
“Look, I know you’re terrified and you don’t think love is worth it, but this is far from casual.”
“We agreed on it, Thea.” Piper lifted her chin to get her point across.
Thea scoffed. “I hate to break it to you, but nothing about what you just said is casual. And maybe he doesn’t even realize it yet, but Leo is into you. I’m sorry, but he is, and I think he’s valid for feeling that way.”
“No, he’s not.” Piper shook her head. “Why would he agree to our entire deal if he was?”
“Same reason I’m friends with you. Some Piper is way better than none.”
Some is better than none. The sentiment made Piper feel like she had been struck down by lightning. And maybe she didn’t believe that Leo felt that way, but she knew Thea did.
“We can agree to disagree on Leo.” Piper choked back the emotion in her throat. “But I don’t want you to feel like you’re only getting part of me anymore. I already love you, so there’s no use in hiding anymore.”
“I love you, too.” Thea reached out and squeezed her hand.
A tear slipped down Piper’s face as she said, “I’ll brave the pain for you.”
Thea moved over beside Piper on the couch and pulled her into a hug, her wild curls whipping Piper in the face before she pulled her in tighter. “Can you make it up to me by telling me every filthy detail of your sex life?” Piper cackled and wiped at her face. Thea practically bounced from excitement in her seat. “Oh my God, you’re blushing. Tell me everything!”
For the next hour, as Thea baked scones, Piper endured every squeal and raunchy comment from her best friend as she laid out how exactly she had begun sleeping with the enemy. That was followed by a slightly mortifying reciprocity of information where Thea laid out the details of the potato chip incident that had ended with Yuri eating potato chips off her body until both of them were in hysterics, giggling and frantically blowing on the hot scones so they could eat them before they cooled. Then, when there were simply too many scones to eat on their own, they invited Emma over to down the rest.
Forty-Seven
LEO
A harsh glow from the porch light reflected off the window as Leo peered into his apartment from the front stoop. The long run he had taken to get his mind off things had the exact opposite effect. It had been a long day of meetings with Moreno and the lighting and staging crew, and sitting across from Piper as she and Elliot explained their set design drawings had been torture. Elliot’s engineering of Piper’s ideas was flawless, and Leo had to shove down the green monster inside him to give Elliot the praise he deserved. Even the breakaway chairs Elliot had drawn up for the Havana scene with spring-activated pieces were nothing short of genius. The folding set design that Elliot and Piper had developed pulled out to reveal the inside of the mission. It had a folding layer within that transformed it into the Havana club, and then the entire thing folded back out to make an outdoor street scene, all of which had Piper’s meticulous design work. The thick file Piper had smacked onto the table full of research she had done on 1950s Manhattan and previous productions of the show made Leo unreasonably turned on. That was how, along with Leo’s desire to claim Piper after the way Elliot had been looking at her, they had ended up in the backseat of her car in the empty parking lot of the theatre.
Leo had never been more fucked, both physically and mentally, before. In the weeks that followed his lie, Piper had spent every available second in his bed, tangling with him under his sheets until eventually she left to avoid Sam.
