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“You’re both idiots,” Piper said.
“So.” Walker raised his eyebrows at Leo. “I’ve always wanted to know, did you—”
“Tell the whole school that Harden has a tiny penis? Please,” Leo scoffed. “Of course I did.” Walker broke out into a wide smile. “I think Piper did more damage, though. She told everyone he couldn’t get a hard-on.”
“Fantastic.” Walker nodded at Piper. “Good work.”
“I’m still pissed that Talia told you about him.” Piper started down the steps as both men trailed behind her. The noise of the wake got louder with each step she took toward the bottom floor.
“We don’t keep secrets from each other,” Walker said. “Although sometimes I wish she wouldn’t tell me certain things.” The look he tossed between Piper and Leo made her cheeks heat. She was going to kill her aunt.
“There you are!” Lucia sidled up to her son and yanked on his arm. “Ya llegaron todos.” Everyone… is here? Piper half-translated in her head. The app she had been using recently to brush up on her high school Spanish could at least get her that far. Leo’s mom paused briefly to look over her shoulder at Piper before steering Leo into the living room, where most of the same people from the funeral were crowded and chattering. “Piper, you look lovely as always.” Lucia stopped and elbowed her son. “Doesn’t she look pretty, mijo?” Leo’s eyes locked with Piper’s, and she felt the pang of vulnerability. It was one thing to call her pretty in private, but it was another thing entirely to say it out loud in front of his family.
But Leo didn’t hesitate. “She’s always beautiful,” he stated before turning to greet one of his aunts.
Piper could feel her uncle’s eyes boring into the side of her head. She fidgeted with her dress under his scrutiny and didn’t make eye contact, but she knew what was coming. Everyone could say what they wanted about Walker—that he was a terrible cook despite Talia’s frequent attempts to train him, that he cursed like a sailor, and that he was often way too hard on himself—but he was hyper-observant when it came to Piper and her siblings.
“You like him more than whatever temporary thing Talia said you were doing,” Walker stated as fact. Piper’s mouth opened and closed several times, trying to work up the words to contradict him. “For what it’s worth, he clearly likes you more than that, too. I don’t know your exact reasons for staying far away from genuine relationships, but I have a pretty good guess.”
“Walker,” Piper warned. She didn’t want this conversation—not because he wasn’t right, but because it was still easier to hide from it.
“No,” Walker said simply. “I’ve been your parent for six years of your life, and I’ve earned the right to call you on your bullshit. Your mom and dad did not want this for you. They did not want you to hold yourself back from relationships just because you’re scared to lose people. We survived, Piper. It was and is terrible every day we wake up without them, but we survive. People like Leo help make surviving that loss easier. Am I terrified of losing Talia? Absolutely fucking petrified. Why do you think I obsessively call her when she takes long trips to come see you? Leo’s brother and sister-in-law at the dealership have assured me ten thousand times that her car is fully operational, and I still get paranoid about it. I walk into rooms and immediately search for her and all of you because I need that physical proof you’re all safe.”
Walker gave Piper a sheepish look. “I’m working on it. But you know what I’m not going to do? I’m not going to hold myself back from loving more people just because I’m scared. I’m not going to stop hoping that the fucking adoption agency will call Talia and me with good news. I’m not going to stop hoping that my dad won’t relapse again.” Walker squeezed her shoulder, and Piper finally looked at him, her eyes watering. Everything in her heart said he was right, but her brain was still telling her the opposite: that she would never truly survive unless she never went there. “Some things are worth being terrified over. Taking on all of you was worth being terrified over. Being in love with my wife is worth being terrified over. And I don’t care if you decide that it’s Leo that you want or someone else entirely as long as you know you can have it all. Be scared, Piper, but don’t be inflexible with your heart.”
“I—” The tears started to fall down her face, and she wiped at them with a quick hand, hoping no one from Leo’s family would notice. “I don’t want to love him. It was so much easier to hate him. I don’t know what to do.”
“Your mom was a huge pros and cons list fan. You could try that? She made a pros and cons list on whether to date your father.”
“She did?” Piper let out a soft laugh.
“Oh, yeah. Your dad found it at one point and kept doing things so she’d add to the pros column.” Walker smiled. “You exist, so I bet you can guess which side won out. And something tells me you already know which side would win out if you made one yourself.”
Piper gave him a slow nod, biting her lip before she said, “I’m not convinced he likes me back.”
Walker chuckled and rolled his eyes. “Yeah, okay. Sure. I’ll let you two figure that one out. When you do, don’t tell me about it.” He mimicked gagging before he started to walk away. “And tell him to stop reading my books!”
Fifty-One
LEO
The quiet mumbling of the room was getting on Leo’s last nerve. Abuelita was not at all quiet, so he didn’t know why everyone insisted on hushed tones as they meandered about the Hartricks’ living room and kitchen. His loud extended family were all silencing their children from running around and offering condoling glances to one another like that alone would soothe the loss.
“¿Mijo?” Leo’s father set a firm hand on his shoulder. “¿Te encuentras bien?”
Leo’s frown deepened. “I hate this.”
“Lo sé.”
“No, you don’t know. I’m talking about this.” Leo waved his hand out to the living room. “Why the fuck are we all just standing here like sitting ducks?”
“¿Y qué quieres que hagamos? Hm?” Leo’s mother came to his other side, her expression angry as she folded her arms over her chest. “You think you can do better?”
Leo let out a puff of air through his nose. “It’s not the mercy meal I have a problem with, Mamá, but Abuelita wouldn’t want everyone just standing around feeling sorry for themselves. I’m gonna get some air.” He turned on his heel and started for the sliding glass door he hoped led somewhere where people weren’t.
The backyard of the Hartrick house was pristine. No rusting tools were lying around. The lawn itself was free of crabgrass, and the large deck decorated with fairy lights was picture-perfect. The cool breeze should have made Leo feel better, but as he sat down on the edge of the deck, he couldn’t help but feel like Piper’s life had no room for someone like him. Success was an elusive thing that oftentimes felt a bit too out of reach even for Leo’s ambition, but for Piper, it was right there. She could live a somewhat carefree life without him.
“I’m out here,” a voice said from the corner of the deck. Leo jerked toward the sound and found Piper’s brother Colin sitting in a chair and looking up at the sky. “Sorry, I just thought it’d be weird if I didn’t announce myself and you thought no one else was back here.”
