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“Good luck, Clay. Princess here isn’t in the best of moods,” says Carrick.
“That’s probably all my fault. I’ll take it from here.”
Carrick leaves us without a sarcastic word. It’s times like this that I wish he would carry on being a comedian. Something, anything, just to lighten the mood.
Shay crosses her arms over her chest and stares at a spot on the faraway wall past me. She never once lets her eyes drift across me.
“I’m not going to apologize for caring, Shay. I’m also not going to apologize for trying to make that decision about the army ceremony for you. However, I will apologize for throwing the past at you. It was wrong. I hate myself for it. I’m terrified of losing you again. And…” I take in a big deep breath and let it out slowly. “…I don’t think I could live without you again.”
Silence falls all around us, and it’s eerily quiet. We could probably hear a pin drop it’s that still. I want to scream at her to just talk to me. Christ, she can scream, yell, or throw things if she so desires. I just don’t like the silent treatment at all.
“Please, Shay, say something… anything.”
She shrugs. “I don’t know what to say. I’m tired. No, I’m fucking exhausted. I don’t want to fight with you, but you need to remember that I’m still the same person I always was. I’m a big girl. I’m capable of making my own decisions.”
“I know.”
“And I don’t need you to be my protector, Clay. I want you to be my friend. My everything. My reason for breathing. I’m not your mission.”
And as much as I want to tell her she was my mission for so long, I keep that to myself and take her hand in mine. I need to learn to shut up and just keep the peace.
“I won’t promise anything, but I will try to be anything you want me to be.”
“Good. Now, Chris isn’t here yet. He’s late. Will you help me over to the walking bars?”
“Chris doesn’t have army or police background, babe. You’ll need to kick his time keeping into touch.”
“That can be arranged.” She smiles at me.
I click on the brake of the chair and hold out my hands for her to take. I was going to push her over to the bars, but I’m going to be Chris, and stop mollycoddling her. She seems to like it, because she nods, bites her lip in concentration, and pushes off the chair. Her eyes lock with mine, and her hands squeeze mine. I can see the determination in her face; she’s making it to those bars, even if it kills her.
“You okay?” I ask.
“Yes,” she grinds out. “I can do this. I won’t be a burden with that chair for much longer.”
“Hey, whether it takes you two weeks, two months, or two years, you could never be a burden, do you understand?”
“The wounded puppy look doesn’t suit me, Clay. It isn’t me. The quicker I can get back on my feet, the better. I want to walk at the army award ceremony. I want everyone to see that I’m not laying down for anything. I won’t be bullied. And it will take a lot more to crucify me than that camp.”
“That’s only a few days away.”
“I know.”
“And she can do it if she puts her mind to it,” says Chris from the door.
Shay’s head shoots up at the sound of Chris’s voice. I want to chastise him for not taking my side, but I can tell that Shay is going to rip him a new asshole. She’s saved me a job.
“Chris, come here.”
And my baby brother trots over to us casually, drinking a can of soda on his way. He stops beside Shay and me and smiles at her.
“Good progress,” he says.
“Good progress.” She laughs. “What time is it?”
Chris looks down at his watch. “12.15. why?”
“So, you can tell the time. You’re late. Fifteen minutes late. Lunchtime, you said. Lunchtime is twelve o’clock.”
