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Chapter 25
Shay
The last few days have flown by too quickly. I’ve been determined to make this stupid award ceremony, only because I won’t be seen as hiding away. I’ll never hide. I’ll always face my fate, no matter what it might be. And, no matter what, I deserve that fucking medal of honor. It’s the least the army can do.
“How are you feeling?” asks Chris.
I shrug.
“You pushed yourself this weekend. I hope it was worth it.”
I look up at Chris as he sits opposite me on Clay’s couch. He holds his hands together in front of him and rubs them together.
“To walk down that aisle to get my medal will be worth it.” I sigh. “It isn’t just about adding another medal to my collection. I couldn’t give a shit about that. It’s just the idea of everyone thinking that I’m weak or hiding from the army that’s making me want to do it. I need to show the whole goddamn world that I’m alive. I’m well. And I’m making a full recovery. What they did to me in Iraq…” I take in a deep breath. “Well, it will take a lot more than that to break me.”
If I keep telling myself that, I might start to believe it. I am alive. I am making a recovery, but the nightmares are very real. I won’t be broken. I will bounce back from this, starting today.
Chris nods. “I’m proud of you, Shay. I’ve watched bigger men crumble because of less. I can’t say I know what you’re going through, but I’m here if you ever need me.”
“How? Who were the bigger men?”
I don’t know anything about Chris, but since he’s been training me daily, I’ve come to like and admire him. He’s very different to Clay and Caleb, but he makes the trio what they are.
“Before Shawland Security, I ran my own gym. I trained fighters. Most of those fighters were ex-army, doing what they’ve come to know – fight. Some of them got off on the pain. Without that pain, they couldn’t function. My job was to make sure they could be strong enough to withstand that pain and get through each day. The training was tough, but the rewards were greater. I got work from a local therapist after I helped her brother. Ex-army, fighting in illegal rings. He couldn’t get a break. I taught him to fight legally. He’s now in Vegas fighting, middleweight champion the last time I spoke with him.”
I take in a deep breath. Wow! There really is more to Chris than meets the eye. “So, me pushing myself this weekend wasn’t something you haven’t witnessed before?”
Chris shakes his head. “You were tame in comparison, but you had that same drive. That same determination. That’s why I stood by you and let go of the reins.”
“You didn’t expect me to fall like my family did?”
Chris shakes his head. “Any one of us would have been there to catch you, but no. I’ll never underestimate what goes through a soldier’s head. What they’ve been through to get them here. No one can ever tell someone to slow it down. You had a goal in your head, and you went for it. You need to set more goals and tick them off one by one. That’s the way to a healthy recovery.”
A throat clearing to my side has Chris and I sitting up straighter. I look over to see Clay, my mom and dad, Caleb, and Aria standing around the breakfast bar. I never even heard them coming in. I must have been so engrossed in everything Chris and I were talking about. After today, I’ll make it my goal to talk to Chris every day about himself, because it’s good to talk about normal things.
I look back at Chris. “Thank you, Chris. For everything.”
“Anytime. Now, let’s get you out to the SUV.”
I gaze over at my wheelchair. It has become a part of me since I’ve been home, but today, it isn’t even coming to the army barracks with me. I’m walking. Well, I’m walking with walking aids, and two strapping men at either side of me, but I’m walking.
Clay comes to my aid, but Chris catches his arm and stops him. I smile at them both and push myself up from the couch. Chris lifts my sticks and hands me them. I feel a little wobbly, but just a couple of days ago, I couldn’t get up without support.
“What a difference, sweetheart,” says my mom as she embraces me, kissing me on the cheek. “You’re a little superhero.”
“Behave, Mom. I’m a princess, remember?”
Everyone bursts out laughing. “That’s what your father and I used to call you, our little princess. Then you grew up playing with toy guns and cars, turning into a tomboy. You and your brother were like two peas in a pod.”
I look up. “Where is Carrick?”
“He’s going to meet us out front. He’s being updated on security measures by Mike,” Caleb answers. “Mike is ex-military too. He won’t leave here until everyone knows what’s expected of them.”
“Okay then.” I take in a deep breath and sigh. “Let’s do this.”
Clay walks over to me and straightens out my army uniform. He used to do this to me all the time when we worked together. I used to laugh at him acting like a proud father making sure his young were well dressed.
“I am so proud of you, short stuff.”
