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“Keep fighting, baby girl...” are the last words I speak until my life crashes around me at six a.m. the following morning.
***
I’m woken up abruptly by sharp pains. My whole body is sweating and shaking. In my head, I know its game over for us, but in my heart, I can’t accept that. I’m still fighting this battle.
The room suddenly becomes a hive of activity. Machines are brought in. Doctors, nurses. It’s all happening too quickly. I thought I had a few weeks left to prepare for this moment. It isn’t how I imagined I’d bring my baby into the world. I wanted to keep her on the inside for as long as possible.
The doctor I saw yesterday when I arrived here comes in and throws his bag down in the corner. Does he ever go home?
“Harper, the baby is going to be born. I’m sorry. There is nothing we can do to stop that. Your body is fighting an infection from the ruptured membranes. What we need to try and do is stop that infection from turning into sepsis. Do we have your permission to do whatever we need to do to save you?”
“No,” I whisper.
I can’t keep my eyes open. I don’t know what I’m saying. Everything is so loud, and I just want peace and quiet.
“You have to save my wife. Please.” Drew’s voice breaks over the din, and I succumb to the darkness where it’s more peaceful.
***
The insistent beeping is driving me up the wall. Will someone turn off that damn alarm?
I try to sit up and investigate, but my body is heavy. The room is semi-dark. My hand is sweating, wrapped in another two warm hands. I look down and see Drew laying his sleeping head beside my legs. He looks peaceful. It’s then that I remember what happened, and my free hand touches my tummy.
“Harper...”
A voice from my left makes me turn, and my mum, dad, and Derren are standing around. “What happened?” I whisper.
My mum’s tears say it all. It’s over. My daughter is gone. My life is over.
“You’re going to be okay, darling,” says my dad.
I shake my head. How can I be okay? How can anything ever be okay after this?
“You’re awake.” Drew stands up and places his hands on my cheeks. His forehead rests against mine and our tears mingle. “I thought I’d lost you too.”
I wish I had died. But I keep that to myself. “I’m so tired.”
“Maybe we should all get out of here and let Drew and Harper have some time,” says my dad.
“We’re only a phone call away if you need us,” Mum adds.
Derren squeezes my leg, then leans over and takes Drew into his arms. Their twin bond will make him feel everything Drew is feeling. They’ve always shared that connection. I’m just glad Drew has someone other than me to help him get through this.
Within moments, the room is silent... too silent. Even the beeping machine isn’t loud enough anymore.
“Can I get you anything?” Drew asks.
I shake my head and close my eyes. I only need one thing, and unless he has special powers, I’m never going to get it.
Life has a funny way of spiralling out of control when we least expect it. It’s unfair. It’s cruel. And no one should ever have to feel this pain and suffering. No one.
Chapter 1
Eight weeks later
Drew
Eight weeks have passed since we lost Angel. Angel is what we decided to call our daughter. It has been the longest, most gruelling eight weeks ever. Our lives fell apart in the blink of an eye. We had everything, and now it seems like we’re struggling to hold things together. I can’t even speak to Harper without a screaming match or her shutting down. Life as we knew it seems to be over.
