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I watched with bated breath as he unpackaged the band-aid, pressed the padded square against the hole in my skin, and wrapped the little flaps around my nail with gentle precision. It was such a nonchalant, normal thing, but it felt like something more, like I was being taken care of. That was a dangerous thing to feel with him, especially with more on the line than I originally thought. Not only was he my doctor, but now, he wanted me to be his nanny. And somehow not cross the boundaries that would be necessary for either of those things to work.
“Don’t want you to get more blood on that pretty little dress you’re making,” he murmured, finally letting go of my hand after what felt like far too long to be casual.
“Thanks,” I whispered.
He nodded as he pulled himself back, creating a barrier once again. “Please think about it, Sophie. I’ll keep looking around in the meantime, but I’ll need a decision fairly soon.”
I brought my arm to my chest, rubbing the skin around my wrist where he’d held it not once, not twice, but three fucking times now. “Okay.”
Chapter 7
Hudson
Wednesday
The woman taking up the entirety of my screen, with her thick black hair and her rosy-red cheeks was nice enough, I’d give her that. But even as she spoke of her extensive experience with her younger siblings and her string of babysitting gigs throughout her teenage years, she didn’t grab me.
Not like Sophie.
This was the third interview I’d done between appointments, and during every single one, I’d found my thoughts spiraling back to her. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d fawned over a woman like I was with Sophie—not even my ex-wife. It had been easy with Becks, natural, but there’d never been that intense pull, that keep-me-up-in-the-middle-of-the-night ache. It was beginning to freak me out. I’d told myself over and over for the last two years that I didn’t want another relationship, that I didn’t need love to be happy. I could fuck and date and have fun and that was all I needed. But Jamey was getting older, was starting to realize that he didn’t have something most other people did, and I knew it would break my heart worse than Becks did when Jamey eventually asked me why he didn’t have a mom. I dreaded that day.
“Dr. Brady?”
Shit. I blinked away the thoughts, refocusing on the screen of my laptop, and a very confused… what was her name? Emily? staring back at me. I scrubbed my face with my hands, trying to chase away any lingering thoughts so I could focus. “I’m sorry, what did you say?”
“I asked how soon you would need me,” she deadpanned. There was an air of impatience in her tone, and immediately, that told me everything I needed to know. I required someone patient, someone kind, who could handle my toddler and more importantly, me.
Someone like Sophie. Oh my god, I had to stop. Sophie was less patient with me than Emily, but that only excited me more. “Uh, if I were to hire you, I’d need an immediate start. Would that be something you could do?”
The video feed stuttered, pixelating her face for a moment, but her words came through clearly. “Oh, I’m going on vacation this weekend. I won’t be back until next Friday.”
I held my phone between my thumb and middle finger, spinning it around as I tapped it against the particleboard desk. “Unfortunately, Emily, I don’t think that’ll work.”
The video feed sputtered back to life. She looked annoyed, with her thin, dark brows furrowed and her eyes squinted. “My name is Olivia.” God dammit. “And you should really include the timeframe in your job posting so we don’t both waste our time.”
I sucked my teeth, forcing the annoyed words I wanted to say to stay behind my lips. This was going nowhere. “I did,” I quipped. You should have read the fucking requirements. I shut the laptop, effectively ending the call, and rolled my desk chair back, needing to get myself away from the failed interview. I just couldn’t deal with it anymore today—it was going to drive me insane, especially if I couldn’t stop thinking about Sophie.
————
“Honey. I love you, but you can’t just spring things on me.”
I gnawed on the flesh of my cheek, my scrubs feeling too tight against my skin. Her voice sounded patient, kind, but so frustrated over the crackle of my cell phone. I wondered if Jamey had been a handful today. “I know, Mom,” I sighed. “I’m sorry. It’s a last-minute thing. I should only be an hour late at most.” I hated lying to her. Genuinely. Even when I was a kid, I had a hard time keeping secrets to myself.
“It’s fine. Just try to give me a heads-up a little earlier next time, okay? You know I love watching Jamey, but I’ve got to get home and pack.”
“I know. I’ll try to get out as quickly as I can.” Another lie, and my palms became sweaty. I wiped them on the blue fabric covering my legs.
“Okay. Love you, Honey.”
“Love you too.”
I hung up the call and grabbed my bag from under my desk. Making my way down the hall and out the front door, I shoved away the thoughts of nannies, my mom, and Sophie. I needed good ol’ Hudson and Nathan time, a nice glass of whiskey, and a silent mind. I figured I’d only get two of those, though.
I’d sent him a text an hour ago, asking if he was free for a drink after work, about two minutes after hanging up the call with the last interviewee. I needed to unwind, and I had a distinct feeling that if I tried to at home, even after Jamey went to bed, I’d just find myself in front of Sophie’s house.
That on its own was enough to send me into madness.
The drive to the bar was surprisingly quick despite the traffic, and as I parked my Mercedes, the buzz of seeing Nathan hit me. It had been at least a month, if not more. I didn’t see him nearly enough, and Jamey always asked about him. We’d gone to university together, both studying medicine and the female anatomy—he’d ended up as a gynecologist.
