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I didn’t deserve that girl, and that guilt only stacked on top of what I had reserved for my family. I headed quick down the hall after Dorian. He and I had upgraded into a bigger dorm fall semester, and he was in his room.
He was yelling.
“No, little fighter,” he said, calling my sister by his nickname for her. “No, see that shit… That bullshit out here…”
His deep voice was strained behind the door, and I closed my eyes. Dorian didn’t break. He got angry, but he didn’t break.
“He really did play us all, didn’t he? He said not a thing. Not a goddamn thing,” he stated, and they’d all put together Fawn was a distraction. I’d definitely used her as an excuse to sneak away during that short time we’d been together. I’d had doctor’s appointments they couldn’t know about. Trips out of town.
I placed my hand on the door.
“He played us…” Dorian’s voice cracked, and I knocked when I’d normally just open the door. I couldn’t remember the last time either of us had had any kind of privacy. We’d pretty much revoked that from each other the moment we knew about the other’s existence. Thatcher and Wells coming along only reaffirmed that none of us gave each other privacy. We were best friends and a pack of assholes.
I gave my friend his privacy today. It was the least I could do.
“If you’re not Ramses or Brielle, fuck off,” barked from the other side of the door, and I heard my sister trying to calm Dorian down. She was being super calm when she should be mad too. I was sure she was, but I think my cancer being on the table changed things. I was sure she was angry but defaulted into protector mode. She was looking out for everyone else in a time of need, and that didn’t surprise me. If the roles were reversed, I’d probably be doing the same thing. I’d do anything so my family didn’t have to feel pain.
This was so ironic. There was so much pain going on right now. I dampened my mouth. “It’s me.”
I expected an instant fuck off or something more colorful. I got neither, and eventually, the door opened. My sister came out, and though I gazed above her, I didn’t see Dorian.
He was in there somewhere though, and my sister had on such a brave face. She appeared camera-ready like one would be for a press conference before giving bad news. She shook her head. “It’s bad, Ares. He’s bad.”
I heard, my insides turning.
Sloane swallowed. “You should talk to him. I think it will help.”
I nodded and started to go but stopped. I got her shoulder. “Why aren’t you more mad, little?” She didn’t have to put on a brave face for me. It was just us right now, and she could give me hell.
I almost wanted her to. I wanted her to do anything but guard her feelings right now. This was a lot, and it was bullshit. She rubbed her arms. “I think I’m more scared, big,” she said, nodding. She blinked before squeezing her eyes. “I am scared.”
I brought her into my arms, and normally, she was the one doing that to me. I rubbed her back, and though she didn’t cry, she gripped hold of my hoodie so hard.
I let her do that. I just held her and let her feel her emotions. I was scared too. Scared for everyone.
“You promise me you’re going to fight,” she said into my chest, and her voice was strained too. She gazed up at me with red eyes, but again, she didn’t cry. She nodded. “You better fight and not leave us. I need you. I need both my little brothers.”
She let a tear escape, and I rubbed it away.
“You only got me by five minutes, little,” I joked, and she laughed, warming my heart. I squeezed her shoulder. “And you know me.”
Me fighting went without saying, and she knew that. She hugged me, and I let her get it all out again. She was with me on all this, supported me, and it was so good to know. I didn’t want to lose her either. I needed my big sister.
I told her that before letting her go, and that made us both laugh. It was very ironic considering our nicknames for each other, and I supposed that was the point.
Dorian didn’t even gaze up when I opened the door, and my stomach soured. I knew I had a battle ahead of me with Wells and Thatcher. We were only separated by a year, but they took things way harder. They always had, and it’d always been Dorian to ground us.
That was why his reaction did worry me so much. He was leaning against his desk when I closed the door, and as soon as it clicked closed, he gripped the desk. That let me know right away he knew it was me in here and not my sister. He didn’t even have to look at me.
He smirked. “So all that shit about you working on toning…” He shook his head, and his expression was cold as ice. “Changing your diet and staying out of the weight room. You said you wanted to tone. Do more cardio.”
I’d had to tell them something since I knew I’d be losing weight. I started to speak, but Dorian raised a hand.
“Then the fact that none of us have been seeing you sketch lately. It was the cancer, right? Fucked up your hands?”
“D—”
“It was the cancer, right?” His voice was even while he gripped his arms, but make no mistake my friend was pissed. He looked pissed, was pissed. “Tell me the truth about that and your diet and the gym.”
