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“I’ll admit that he is using his words better than I expected this evening, but let’s not get overly excited about that,” Becca said.
“Well, then, you should probably stop trying to check out his dick,” Kate said.
“What?” Becca said. “I was not!”
Kate looked at her. “Becks.”
“Okay, I was, but not the way you think,” Becca said. “Back at the house, I thought I saw, like, a bulge way out here, but that didn’t seem right, so I’m just, like, trying to figure out if…”
“Oh, it’s his dick, all right,” Kate said.
“What?” Becca said, her voice a shocked whisper. “Are you sure?”
“Oh, yeah,” Kate said. “He’s got a giant one.”
“Really?” Becca said, then added, “Wait, how do you know?”
“Nikki from work saw it.”
“Nikki…” Becca searched her memory banks for where she’d heard that name before, “Nikki from the hospital? The one at the front desk?”
“Yeah. Griz pulled his pants down in the lobby to… you kind of had to be there. Anyway, she saw it and said he’s slung like a donkey.”
Becca shivered her shoulders and said, “That’s so disturbing.”
“Disturbing?” Kate said.
“Knowing it’s right there, under the table, lurking like the Loch Ness monster.”
Kate let out a little laugh. “You sure you don’t want to reach down into the water and grab that big monster with both hands?”
“Oh, please,” Becca said, rolling her eyes. “I am the opposite of a size queen. I like my penises like I like my men… slender and elegant.”
“You never had a big one?” Kate asked.
“God, no,” Becca said. “I feel no need to brutalize my lady parts.”
“What about that guy you told me about in college, the one that…”
“No, no. I know who you’re talking about. Kyle was very average. I was exaggerating because I wanted you to think that I was getting some next level dick and make you jealous.”
“Oh.”
“Do you have any lip gloss?” Becca said, frowning at her lips. “I left my stupid purse in the car.”
Kate searched through her purse briefly. “I don’t think I do.”
“Crap. I hate how my lips turn into Death Valley the second I forget to bring my lip gloss.”
“I’m sure you’ll be fine.”
“No, I’ll just go get it,” Becca said. “I don’t know how I forgot my purse. Yes I do. My brain has been a fried egg ever since I got fired.”
“I know how you feel,” Kate said. “When I got arrested by Wyatt’s ex-wife…”
“Oh, you mean when the evil lizard queen planted those drugs in your car?”
“Right. When I was put in that cell, I completely freaked out. I was kind of glad none of you were there to see that.”
