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“If my sister doesn’t put him into a diabetic coma first,” Piper said. “How do we get this virus phone next to Harris’s phone?”
“Easy,” Nikki said. “I work at the hospital. So we get him to come in, thinking he needs to have some test or something, and I put the virus phone next to his while Devil distracts him.”
“How you are going to distract him?” Piper asked.
Devil shrugged, as if the answer were obvious. “Pretend to be a doctor.”
Pony glared at him and said, “Devil.”
“What?”
“That is not going to work.”
“Itisgoing to work.”
“It isnotgoing to work. You don’t know the first thing about being a doctor.”
“No,” Devil said, “but I can bullshit like nobody else in the entire world.”
Pony paused. After a moment or two, he reluctantly said to Piper, “He is actually right about that.”
“You’re not serious about this,” Piper said.
“As a myocardial infarction!” Devil said. “See? I know doctor stuff!”
“This sounds like the craziest, hare-brained…”
“Piper,” Pony said, nodding to the side of the room to indicate they should step aside to discuss it amongst themselves.
“Yeah, sure, you guys, talk it over,” Devil said, bouncing up and down now in the eagerness of the chance to pretend to be a doctor. “Me and Nikki will be right here.”
Once she and Pony had a chance to move a short distance away, she said lowly, “This is insane, you know that, right?”
“I know, I know,” Pony whispered back. “But Devil… he has this knack for doing insane shit and it somehow works out.”
“Didn’t you tell me he almost burned down the clubhouse?”
Pony waited a beat before answering. “Twice. Look, I didn’t say it always goes according to plan. But right now, I think desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Piper thought it over. As ridiculous as it sounded, as much as she hated putting her life and Carly’s life in the hands of another person… especially someone as erratic as Devil… it didn’t seem like she had much of a choice. Here she was, an FBI agent on the run, going to a bunch of outlaw bikers for help, of all people. Her life had spun completely out of control and she was going to have to accept some imperfect situations if she was going to hope to get herself and her sister through this.
“How are you going to do this?” she said, loudly in the direction of Devil and Nikki. “Get Harris to come in to your hospital?”
Devil’s eyes lit up and for a second, Piper thought he might break out in a dance.
“Watch and learn, Piper. Watch and learn,” he said, nodding to Nikki. “Ready, Falcon?”
“Ready, Condor!” Nikki said.
Pony said, “Please don’t use the names.”
“Okay, you got Harris’s phone number, right, Piper?” Nikki said.
“Of course.”
“Let me have it,” Nikki said, then after she had the number, she began waving her hands by her face as if to fan it, clearing her throat, saying, “Okay, okay,” over and over again.
“What’s she doing?” Piper said.
