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(You know, just in case you need a new boyfriend who moonlights as a sushi chef or salsa dancer.)
Nope. As long as his name isn’t Brody.
Accents are cool though…
c. Are there any special skills or knowledge your new boyfriend should possess?:
(Astrology guru? Rubik's Cube wizard? Juggling flaming torches?)
Anything that he chooses as his back story. Don’t lie and say you’re a doctor if you have no idea what the Hyoid bone is or what it’s known for.
d. How should your new boyfriend dress for the occasion?:
(Sharp suit, hipster chic, or maybe a costume from a different era?)
He should bring a nice range of suits, nice shirts, swim gear, athletic gear, normal jeans and shirts. There will be nicer events as well as more casual. Just nothing ridiculous or out of place.
9. Customer Photo:
We'd love to see your fabulous face! Please upload a recent photo of yourself, so your new boyfriend can recognize you.
10. Family Information:
a. Describe your family's unique quirks and dynamics:
(e.g., Uncle Bob's obsession with conspiracy theories, Grandma's competitive bingo nights, etc.)
Yeah. I’m going to leave that as a surprise. Let’s see how he fares.
b. Any family traditions or customs he should be aware of?:
(Like the annual family arm-wrestling tournament or the secret handshake only true family members know.)
Hehe.
c. How should he interact with specific family members?:
(Should he pretend to be a fan of Dad's terrible dad jokes? Act impressed by Cousin Sally's collection of spoons? The more details, the better!)
Don’t disrespect anyone. I know people…just so you know.
d. Any family members he should avoid or be extra cautious around?:
(Watch out for Aunt Martha's cheek pinches or the family pet that's suspiciously too intelligent.)
He’ll just have to figure that out himself. Where’s the fun in making it easy?
e. Special requests for dealing with family drama?:
(Need him to divert attention from your sister's new tattoo or join forces with you in the Great Pie Debate of 2019?)
Just have my back and we’re good. That’s all I ask.
11. Budget:
a. What's your budget for hiring the perfect pretend boyfriend?:
(Remember: love don't come cheap. Fake or not!)
