AllFreeNovel
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I shiver in horror. My mom has terrible taste in men. For me, at least, she managed to find herself a damn good one in my dad. He’s amazing, even if he does stand idly by while she plays matchmaker for me. I think he even gets a kick out of it. Asshole.
I groan, scooting over and snagging the bottle of wine from the floor on her other side. Taking a large gulp, I brace myself and say, “Alright, fine. Let’s do this.”
She squeals like a child, her face bright and split in half with a smile. It makes my chest swell and I wonder why the hell I put up so much of a fight when I know caving to her demands makes her happy like that.
“Okay…that’s all your credit card information. Good thing I have that shit memorized,” She snickers. “Now, time for the questionnaire. Insert your information…blah blah blah. Alright! Question one: what’s your preferred age range for your potential boyfriend? Keep it in increments of five.”
Oh, that’s why.
Pushing away my reservations–it’s not like I have many options at the moment anyways–I decide to just go with it. “Hmm. I’m twenty-nine, so…” I think about it for a second. “Twenty-five to…forty-five.”
“You dog!”
“What? Age-gaps are a kink.” I shrug one shoulder, grinning. “Everybody loves a good daddy domination.”
We both instantly start singing Nationhaven’s unofficial remix of Chloe Adam’s Dirty Thoughts, before falling into giggles. After we’ve finally calmed down, she turns back to the laptop and types in the answer. “Okay. So. Next question. Rate the following traits on a scale of one to five, with one being whatever and five being essential."
“Got it.” I wave for her to keep going when she glances at me to see if I’m listening.
“Sense of humor.”
“Five.”
“Confidence.”
“Five.”
“Charming or romantic.”
“Five.”
“Attentiveness.”
“Five. Wait.” I grab her shoulder as if stopping her from walking into traffic. “Would that make them seem needy?”
“No, dumbass. It just means they’re good at paying attention to you. Like…they’ll be able to predict your needs or figure it out.”
“Right. Five. Keep going.” She giggles, turning back to the screen.
“Good conversationalist.”
“Five.”
“Adventurous.”
“Five.” I like to play it safe, I’ve always wanted someone to push me out of my self imposed padded room of safety. Hold up. I’m not actually looking for a real date here. This is just to hire one. But still…an adventurous date would make the trip more fun, right?
“Kindness.”
“Five.”
“Intelligence.”
“Five.”
“Your expectations are ridiculous.” She cackles and I slap her arm.
“Hey, I might as well get my money’s worth if I’m doing this. It can’t be cheap.”
