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I don’t know why I feel the need to say it, but I do.
“Stop. Shhh. Life happens. You did so much when the roles were reversed. This seems so small. I’m going to take care of you. How do you feel right now? How’s your pain?”
“I feel like I need my special soup. You know the one. I feel just nauseous and achy.”
“It’s no wonder. You’re full of drugs and not much else. You didn’t get your protein energy drink after either. I’m sure your electrolytes are off. I’ll get you some water to sip on so I can get your comfort food going. I’ll even join you if you’d like.”
“You didn’t eat?”
“No, Viper. My only focus has been you.”
“Don’t let my brick wall become yours.”
“This isn’t a brick wall,” he tells me. “It’s something that could have happened at any time. I wish it wouldn’t have, but here we are.” I feel a shiver through my body. I pull my sleeves down over my hands, crossing my arms tight over my chest. I can feel a subtle vibration beneath my skin bubbling to the surface. “Are you cold?”
“I am. I don’t know why.”
Eli disappears into our bedroom for a minute and returns with the extra comforter that lies on the end of our bed. Sometimes it becomes a bed for us on the floor and other times, a layer over us when getting under the covers takes too long.
“Here, baby, let me know if this is too heavy for you.”
I let the down blanket me like a small child trying to wear the clothes of an adult. The fabric coats my trembling body with a calming weight that I’ve so desperately needed. My eyelids close while I hear Eli behind me in the kitchen. After a few minutes and the buzz of a microwave, the smell of chicken noodle soup and warm bread starts to linger in the air.
The scent comes closer until I can feel the steam rising behind me. Eli quietly strokes my forehead. “Are you able to sit up?”
“If you help me. It smells really good.”
“I’m glad you’re saying that.”
His arms slide beneath my body and shift my weight back. The downward pressure on my knee however sends a shock wave through my body I wasn’t prepared for. It felt like I was injuring it all over again. I muffle my yelp into Eli’s arm, but my fingers tell him a completely different story.
The pads of my fingers press so deep into his skin I hope I don’t bruise him. He rests next to me, hip to hip, and holds me against his body. My whimpers turn to sobs again. I can feel the pain all the way down into my calf with all the tears, my head aches in a way it’s only done a couple of times before in my life.
Eli whispers, “I’m so sorry, baby. I’m so sorry. Please don’t cry.”
“It’s going to be like this… for a while.”
“I know it is. I’ll be here to help you.” He settles my back into the corner of the couch, nesting me in with pillows and the comforter. While sitting on the corner of our coffee table, he begins to feed me slowly and with such love. I know that he loves me. I think I knew right away. This type of care isn’t something I’ve had to get from him.
Eli can be so ferocious in the bedroom. I’ve seen it in the boardroom. He’s stopping everything for me. I love it and hate it in the same breath. I don’t want to have to be taken care of in this way. Feeling weak is my weakness. I hate it. I hate it with everything in me. I can see in his eyes he wouldn’t have it any other way.
“I called your parents. Your father said he knows a specialist from the golf course he wants to call to get you in with. I figured, what the hell. It gave him something to do other than come over here and camp out.”
I know Elijah is trying to make me laugh or at the very least smile. I don’t know when that will be a real thing again. Not only is the pain sapping that ability away from me, but the rising anxiety of what this could mean seals the deal. I remember in junior year there was a girl I constantly competed with for lead roles. We were in the top three nearly always, until that spring when she tore up her knee like I just did. I never saw her last year. She wasn’t able to compete at that level again.
She’s out in L.A. right now, taking smaller roles and teaching at a nearby studio just to stay near it. Is that what it’s going to be like for me? I know I turned down the company and with good reason. What if I’d taken the yes? Maybe if I had I would have been in better shape and wouldn’t have hurt myself. Is this the wrong path? Doesn’t really matter now, does it? I might not even have the wrong path anymore.
“Dylan? Hey. Is me rambling on about whatever pops into my head helping or would quiet be better?”
This isn’t his fault. It’s mine. I need to make sure he doesn’t feel like he’s not doing everything he can, because I know he is, and will. “I love hearing your voice. When I’m really sick, I just zone out. I really appreciate everything you’re doing.”
“I’m doing it because I love you and we’re going to get you better and back on the dance floor.”
“I hope so.”
Chapter Nine
Elijah
