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“Hayley, wake up. Hayley?” I start frantically stroking her head. She doesn’t feel warm. In fact, she feels like a block of ice. There is next to no color in her face. “Help,” I call in a low voice. “Help!” I start screaming in a voice I can only describe as one that feels out of body.
I can hear footsteps before I see them. Eli’s shadow is at a walk until my voice echoes to him. Then he’s in a full sprint in his suit. He skids to a stop near Hayley’s feet. “What the fuck happened?”
“Call Nine-One-One man. Do it!” I scream.
He pulls his phone from the breast of his jacket and begins to dial. I can hear other footsteps behind him. It’s Gabrielle. “Oh my God. What happened?”
Eli’s words on the phone are a blur. I couldn’t tell you what he said if my life depended on it. “Give me your jacket. She’s freezing. Her breathing is… where are they?”
“They’re coming,” Eli says, his voice trembling at our side. “Hey, Kiddo. It’s all good. We’re here. Everything’s going to be okay.” Eli and Gabrielle both give me their jackets. I wrap Eli’s around her shoulders and cover her legs with the other, as I cradle her upper body and head against me.
“Baby, wake up. Yell at me some more. Tell me again I’m an asshole. Say something.” I can hear the sirens coming toward us. They’re just barely in the distance. “Help is coming.” I rock her limp body slowly in my arms. “Help is coming.”
Chapter Fifteen
Wes
I sit in the back of the ambulance, holding Hayley’s hand quietly, while the EMTs place the oxygen over her mouth and nose, communicating her vitals to the waiting emergency room personnel. I wish the siren could drown out my thoughts. I wish I knew what was wrong with her. I don’t want to know any of the horrible possibilities.
I don’t remember her complaining of not feeling well today before going down in my arms. She’s been so tired and sad. I know she’s been under a lot of stress because of me, but I thought we were working through it. Think, asshole, think. What can you tell them that would be helpful? I’m drawing a total blank. All I can think of is that my girl is so pale and quiet. She looks like Sleeping Beauty lying on the gurney as I rub her hand over and over, trying to get it warm and let her know I’m right here.
The ride to the hospital is the longest and shortest few minutes. We pull into the drive, and they whisk Hayley away just as quickly. The setting sun beats down on my back as they roll her through the emergency doors. Eli runs past, brushing my arm without stopping to catch up with his sister. The world is going on around me in a blur at warp speed. I can’t move. I’m frozen.
“Mav. You have to move.”
The words start to break through the ice I’m standing in. A tiny, tough hand slides into mine, finally shaking me free. Dylan has Eli’s jacket now around her shoulders. She leans in against my arm, diving into the deep freeze alongside me. “I knew this would happen,” I whisper. “I should have trusted my instincts instead of my feelings.”
“You knew what would happen?”
“I knew I’d destroy her and here we are. I was so singularly focused that I didn’t see what was right in front of me.”
“You don’t know anything. We don’t know anything. We’re all just as scared as you are. But, Wes, I’m going to give you a piece of advice that was given to me by a really good friend. Stop that shit. I’m not going to let you go down that rabbit hole. If you can’t stay positive, then I won’t take you in there. Blaming yourself isn’t going to change anything. Hayley and Eli don’t need it. They need us. Put one foot in front of the other with me.”
I sigh. “Leave it to you to throw my own words back at me at the best and worst time.”
Dylan gives me a small smile and a firm tug to my hand, as once again she and I walk through a different set of emergency room doors together. Eli’s pacing the floor just outside the secure entrance like a caged panther. He’s on his phone. When we get within listening range, we hear him tell their mother to not get on a flight and he’ll call her with more details when he has them.
Seconds turn into minutes. Minutes turn into hours. Dylan, Eli, and I take turns begging for information and the ability to see Hayley. No one will tell us anything. The last time Dylan goes to ask, we finally get a different answer, one that I don’t like. The doctor wants to meet with us in one of the family rooms. The last time I was near one of them, we almost lost Eli. I know I’m not ready to hear what they have to say.
Eli and Dylan sit on the couch together as I perch on the edge of the chair across from them. My hands rest openly over my knees as they bounce up and down. I nearly jump out of my skin when the door opens, and the doctor introduces himself.
“You’re Hayley Sawyer’s family?”
Eli rises. “Yes, we are. I’m her brother, Elijah. This is my wife, Dylan, and Hayley’s boyfriend, Wes.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m sorry it’s under these circumstances. I’m Dr. Miller. I’m the physician who first saw your sister when she arrived.”
I quickly interject, “Look, I don’t want to be that guy, but I’m going to be that guy. Cut to it. What’s wrong with Hayley?”
“I understand you have a lot of questions, and I’ll do my best to answer them. When Hayley was admitted to the ER, she presented with low blood pressure and pulse, accompanied with an irregular heartbeat. We ran several blood tests so we could begin to assess how best to help her. We started her on intravenous fluids and that seemed to help her a great deal. After about an hour, she became awake enough to answer questions for us.”
“I’m sorry. You seem to be telling us something without telling us anything,” Dylan states. “Do you know what caused Hayley to pass out?”
“I’m fairly certain we do. The number of blood tests we ran seem to indicate severe deficits in many areas. She was also moderately dehydrated. Are any of you aware if Hayley has been diagnosed with an eating disorder?” Eli and I lock eyes. One of us has been with her every day of her life. She’d never. I’d have known. I’d have seen it. “I’m going to assume by the silence that would be no.”
“Why would you ask that question?” Eli asks.
“Well, Mr. Sawyer, looking at the blood work and after frank conversation with Hayley, she indicated that in the last few weeks she’s had an enormous amount of stress between work and personal life, and that she couldn’t tell us if she was consistent with her food intake. There are other indicators, but I’m not at liberty to fully discuss those without Miss Sawyer’s consent.”
