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As I talk about everything that happened after I called Katie two nights ago, this time, I can say it without crying or feeling like I might throw up. It helps, voicing what I went through. I don’t know why, but it gets easier each time. I can feel the tension slipping from my body, easing my jumpiness from being wound so tightly.
I’m confident that having two people I feel so safe with as my first audience members helps. As I tell Katie about the terror of being chased down in a car, dragged from the wreckage, thrown in a cage, and tied to a chair, where I was threatened, I feel a sense of empowerment.
She’s a perfect listener, giving me her undivided attention and cheering for me when I tell her how I saw my opportunity to run and took it.
“Wow, Alina. You’re kind of a badass,” she says as I wrap up my story.
I laugh. “I don’t feel like a badass. I was scared to death the entire time.”
“Yeah, but you kept fighting. You did whatever it took to stay alive, for you and your baby.” She gives me a proud smile.
Knuckles rap sharply on the window a moment later, and we both jump.
“Christ,” she gasps, covering her heart. “After hearing what you went through, I guess I’m a little on edge.”
But the knock is Mishka’s familiar signal, so I take several deep breaths to calm my racing heart. Leaning in, I give Katie a grateful hug. “Thanks for being such a good friend,” I murmur.
“Hey, don’t go getting all mushy on me. You’re going to make my mascara run.” She sniffles, giving me a squeeze. “Good luck,” she adds, tilting her head toward the window as I release her.
“Thanks.”
The glass slides upward as I approach Mishka, who opens it from the outside. I slip out a moment later and close the window behind me. Then, strong hands find my fingers and pull me into the dark shadows that converge on the fire escape.
Mishka’s familiar masculine scent envelops me, putting me at ease as he wraps me in his powerful arms.
“I missed you,” he murmurs against the crown of my head. Turning, he presses my back against the cool brick wall and traps me between his palms.
“I missed you too,” I breathe, peering up into his deep-blue eyes. A hundred questions filter through them, but he doesn’t voice them.
A moment later, his lips claim mine, their persistence bordering on desperate as they light my soul on fire. I gasp, my lips parting, and he takes advantage of the opening. Tongue stroking between my teeth, he tastes me deeply, trapping me in a kiss that floods me with relief.
My stomach quivers with excitement, and I could so easily fall into the heat of the moment. I could lose myself in the pleasure of him and forget about everything else. Melting into him, I give myself five seconds of indulgence. Then I need to pull myself together because we have serious ground to cover tonight.
Running my hands over his shoulders, I press them flat against his chest and urge him back. He doesn’t resist, breaking the kiss and stepping away from me, though I can feel his arms tense as if to object.
“Mishka, before we do anything, we need to talk,” I insist, my pulse kicking up a notch as I think about the conversation ahead of us.
“Yeah, okay,” he agrees, his tone suddenly heavy with a reticence I didn’t know he possessed.
And when our eyes meet, I find worry in his gaze. It makes my heart squeeze painfully.
“Take me back to your place?” I ask gently.
Mishka hesitates, just a fraction of a second. Then, whatever’s on his mind, he seems to push aside, and he nods. He laces his fingers with mine a moment later, and together, we make our way down the fire escape.
He seems on high alert tonight, falling into bodyguard mode as his head stays on a swivel. He leads the way without letting go of my hand, like he’s shielding me, ready to protect me at a moment’s notice. The body language is subtle, but I can tell that my safety is first and foremost on his mind. Maybe he didn’t want to leave Katie’s apartment building because he knows I have two other bodyguards there whom he could use for backup.
Trying not to think of all the ways I may or may not be risking my safety—and his—I take a deep breath and trust that Mishka will keep me safe. And hopefully, he won’t vanish from my life after tonight.
22
MISHKA
The tension builds between us as I drive Alina back to my place. She doesn’t say a word, which is rare, and I find it impossible to break the stifling silence. I can’t shake the fear that this is about what she saw in the basement.
Now that she’s put distance between her and the worst of her kidnapping trauma, it’s probably time. But I don’t want to think about what that means for us. Maybe she’s preparing to say she doesn’t want to be with me. Which would likely mean she intends to tell her father who I am—what I did.
I don’t relish the thought of dying, but more so, I don’t want to cause Alina any more pain, so I’m willing to face the consequences of my decision. I only wish I didn’t have to lose her in the process.
