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I always knew it might come to this.
But my heart aches to think this could be the last night I ever see her, so I steal glances at Alina from the corner of my eye as I drive. I soak up the sight of her soft golden hair, the fine curve of her jaw. Every detail I love about her, I lock away in my mind for safekeeping.
And by the time we reach my apartment complex, neither of us has said a word.
The parking lot to my flat is dark and quiet, and Alina waits for me to collect her from the 4Runner. Willingly tucking herself against my side, she lets me shield her from the darkness and any watchful eyes. She’s much jumpier—a repercussion of the kidnapping—though she still trusts me enough to believe I will keep her safe.
Thankfully, none of my neighbors are in the mood to harass us tonight, though my unwanted visitors still needle the back of my mind. What if they come back and find Alina there? My hand twitches to reach for my gun tucked into my belt. I’ll put them down without a second thought. That’s what. They took her once. I won’t let it happen again.
Unlocking the deadbolt, I open the door to my studio, scanning the space to ensure it’s empty before letting her step inside. My pulse quickens as I close the door and Alina turns to me. Bracing for the crushing blow, I hold my breath, my hand lingering on the door handle.
“Thank you for coming to get me,” Alina says nervously, fidgeting with her hands as she stands in the middle of the room to face me.
“Of course.”
An awkward silence stretches between us. The tension is killing me. I can tell Alina needs to talk, but either what she has to say is so bad she’s scared to tell me, or she just really doesn’t want to say it. Slowly, I cross the room, closing the distance until I’m just a few feet from her.
“You wanted to talk?” I urge gently when it seems like she’s not going to start the conversation on her own. “About my pointing a gun at your father?”
She nods, and the air freezes in my lungs as I wait for her to find the courage to tell me what she needs to say. But Alina just drops her gaze to the floor. My hands twitch with the need to touch her, to lift her chin so I can look into her eyes, but I don’t want to invade her space.
As if she heard my thoughts, her eyes snap up to meet mine. My stomach knots to see the confusion in them, a conflict that I know is entirely my fault.
“Please, Alina,” I murmur, aching to pull her into my arms. “Just talk to me. The silence is torture?—”
“I love you, Mishka,” she says, the words spilling from her before I’m even finished.
That was not at all what I anticipated she would say, and I open my mouth to respond, but before I can, she rushes on.
“But how can I believe that you won’t try to kill my father again? How am I ever supposed to trust you after what I saw?”
My heart twists at the betrayal in her tone, and guilt seeps through me. I would do anything to fix the damage I’ve done. But I don’t know how. So instead, I get down on my knees to beg. Because if she can’t forgive me, then I don’t know how to keep living.
“Please, Alina. Don’t give up on me. Being with you has changed me so much these past few months. I was lost and angry and vengeful before I met you. But none of that matters anymore. Only you. You light up my life like the sun. My whole world revolves around you. All I want is to make you happy.” Grasping her hips, I press my forehead to her stomach, willing her to believe me. “I would do anything for you.”
“You lied to me,” she murmurs, the pain apparent in her tone. “You betrayed me. You let me trust you when you knew you intended to do something that would hurt me.”
“I’m so sorry. I’ll never hurt you again.”
And when she stays silent, I look up to peer into her shining blue gaze.
“I’ll do whatever it takes to prove it. Whatever you ask of me. I’ll tell your father what I intended to do if that’s what you want. Just, please, don’t make me live without you,” I breathe, my chest a solid knot of agony at the thought.
Alina’s breathing hitches, and tears shimmer in her eyes. “He would kill you if you told him.”
“I know.” I don’t care. If I can’t be with her, I don’t want to be.
She shakes her head, her fingers combing into my hair as she guides it away from my face. “I don’t want that.”
“Then tell me how I can fix it. I swear on my life that I won’t ever hurt your family. I could never do anything to hurt you. No revenge is worth the risk of losing you. I should have known it before I raised that gun, but I know it now without a shadow of doubt.”
“You really expect me to believe you can just let it go?” she breathes, her question genuine, not skeptical. “I mean… I know how much you love your brother. And my father has done terrible things…”
Sighing, I nod. “I can’t promise to forgive your father. But killing him won’t bring Sascha back. I know that. And I would rather have you than seek vengeance for what happened to him. Because it’s not going to make the loss any less painful. I’m learning how to live with it, and you’re the one who makes my life worth living, Alina.”
Heart pounding as I wait for her answer, I study her beautiful face. Countless emotions flash across her delicate features. And for a fleeting moment, I think she’s finally going to let down her guard. She nods with conviction, the hint of a smile curving her lips.
Then, to my horror, her chin trembles, and she bursts into tears.
