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“You’ll still get paid,” he said, looking back down at the suitcase. Not at her.
The pain of it was like a slap. Unexpectedly ferocious. Followed by an equally unexpected rush of anger. He’d been planning to just bail. Not just on them. But on their work.
“That isn’t the fucking point, Zach. I wanted the credit not the money.” It was easier to focus on the business part of this. It hurt slightly less than thinking about the other part. The part where he’d do this to her. The woman he was sleeping with. She’d thought he cared about her. Could she have been so wrong? She couldn’t think about that. She couldn’t make it through the conversation if she thought about that.
“There’ll be other albums.”
“Not like this. And maybe not at all if this gets out. You do this, you change your mind and go record with Davis and throw what we did away and that gets out, then everyone will think that I can’t cut it.” Her throat was burning with the effort to sound reasonable.
“No one will know.”
That wasn’t true. “This industry leaks like a sieve. You know it will get out.” Though she wasn’t sure which was worse. Not having anybody know he’d chosen her in the first place or having everybody think he’d ditched her.
She thought he winced. Just ever so slightly. But then the cool mask was back in place. No emotion on his face. Eyes the color of the sea in a winter storm. She shivered. “Please, Zach. Don’t do this to me. To us.”
This time he did wince. But somehow the emotion didn’t give her any hope.
“I have to do what’s right for my music. It’s a business decision,” he said. His voice hadn’t changed and she had to fight not to wince herself.
“But it’s not just business. It’s you and me. There’s more to us than business and sex, Zach.” God. What could she say to get through to him? To bring back the man who’d shared her bed, who’d thrown her a party to make her feel special, and banish the one who was standing before her, willing to throw her away in a second.
“You said this was temporary,” he said. “In fact, you insisted on it.”
“Newsflash. I lied,” she said desperately. “You know I lied. You know how I feel about you, Zach. Don’t say you don’t. It’s been so good between us. And it’s not just sex. There’s more to us. There could be so much more.” Her voice cracked on the last word and she bit down, fighting for control. “Please, Zach. I love?—”
“Don’t say it,” he said and the words were so cold she could practically see them glinting in the air like icicles. “You don’t mean it. You shouldn’t mean it. You know me. I’m like Grey. I want the big dream.”
“You can have it,” she said. “You don’t have to do it the same way he did. You can have music and be happy. You can be more than he was. God, Zach, don’t you see? You’ve been running from him your whole life, trying to get out from under his shadow. Well, you can. You can be better than him. All you have to do is stay.”
He looked like he was made of stone. Hardly breathing. Hardly moving. Totally out of reach. “I need this, Leah. I need what Davis can do for me.”
“More than me?” It was just a whisper. A whisper was all she was capable of.
“More than anything,” he said. He turned back then. Lifted the case off the bed. Set it down on the floor. Pulled the handle up.
The click of it locking into place might as well have been a gunshot. Blowing everything she’d thought they’d had apart. Foolish. So foolish to think he might change. Why was her heart so very very stupid?
“Please don’t go,” she said one more time. One last try. Everyone was allowed one last try. Even when they knew there was no hope of victory.
He shook his head. “I can’t stay,” he said. He walked out of the room without touching her, knuckles white where they gripped the suitcase.
She stayed where she was on the chair, frozen, feeling her world break apart, listening to the sound of him packing the truck. When the front door shut one last time and the roar of the engine rumbled to life, she went to the window. Stupid.
But she had to see it for herself. Had to see that he was really leaving.
He was. The big truck was pulling away and Zach didn’t even glance back at the house as he headed down the drive.
She dug her hands into the window frame, willing herself to stay upright. She’d spent a lot of time waiting for Zach Harper to come back home. And now he was leaving her behind again. As she watched his car pull away, she knew he was taking her heart with him and didn’t even try to stop the tears.
Four days later, Faith arrived on Leah’s doorstep at nine p.m. Leah opened the door before Faith could knock. She had, after all, been expecting her. She’d been turning up there, like clockwork, every night since Zach had left. Ivy had come too the first three nights, but she was stuck down at the festival site doing security briefings tonight.
Faith held up a grocery sack. “Ice cream.”
At least tonight it was only ice cream. The first two nights it had been ice cream and tequila. Which had been a temporary fix, but really only resulted in adding a hangover to her misery.
“I think I’m just about over the ice cream and crying part,” Leah said. The second part of that wasn’t strictly true. She had a feeling she’d be crying over Zach Fucking Harper for a long time. But she was definitely done wallowing.
She led the way back into her small living room. Waited for the inevitable question.
