Page 19 of Pretty Drunk


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Teeth gritted, images of my grandparents’ house filling with water and ruining the hand-sanded hardwood floors, I mumble a quick, “Fine. I’ll stop by and shut off the water, but you’re going to have to call a plumber, Shay.”

“Yay! See you soon!” The line disconnects immediately, and as I stare down at the device, I somehow feel like I’ve been bamboozled and used all over again.

“I’m gonna head out,” I holler to where my friends are standing.

“Everything okay?” TD asks, a knowing look in his eyes.

“Shay has a water leak. Said the house is flooding,” I state, not really believing it even as I say the words.

“Do you need some help?” he offers, ready to jump into action.

“Let me run over and see the extent of the damage, and we’ll go from there.” I really don’t want to call my friend for help, less than twenty-four hours since getting married.

“Sounds good,” he replies with a nod.

“I’m available to help this afternoon too,” Gabe adds. “Just give me a call. I’m gonna run home and check on Blair.”

I wave at my friends before heading back to my own house to jump in my truck. The drive across town to my ex-wife’s house is familiar, as is every road in this small town. I grew up here, riding around on these streets on my bike first, then driving in my own vehicles. I love this little town; always knew I’d come back here after the professional football career I never got to have was finished.

Pulling into the familiar driveway, I slowly exit my truck and sigh. I rarely come back here, choosing to stay as far away from my ex as possible. Well, you know, besides the six days a week I am forced to work with her.

“Thank God you’re finally here!”

I look at the front door I painted the summer before I moved out and my jaw drops open. Shay is standing on the porch wearing a tiny little pink bikini that leaves little to the imagination. Her enhanced double D’s are spilling out of the triangles meant to cover your boobs and the bikini bottom covers about the same amount of skin.

“Why the hell are you wearing a swimsuit, Shay?” I ask incredulously, my feet refusing to walk toward her.

“It’s so hot out here,” she sings, fanning her perfectly made-up face with her manicured hand.

“Where’s the water?” I glance around her bare feet toward the floor, not seeing any rushing water flowing from the open door.

“Come on, it’s this way,” she insists dramatically, waving me to follow her inside.

Exhaling slowly, I head that way, up the front steps and through the door. I don’t look around. I don’t care what she did with the place after I moved out. It’s hers now. But my eyes definitely start looking for all the water ruining my grandparents’ hardwood floors.

“This way,” she coos, motioning for me to follow her.

I run my hand through my hair, not wanting to go. Something feels off about this. Shay is…well, Shay, and I don’t trust her in the slightest.

“Come on, slowpoke!”

With heavy legs, I start walking down the hallway toward the back of the house to where the bedrooms are located. I thought the two extra rooms would be filled with little ones by now, but here we are.

Pushing those memories aside, I move to the master bedroom, keeping my eyes straight ahead where I walk, and enter the en suite bathroom. My ears are open as I listen for the gush or drip but hear nothing. Well, that’s not true. I hear Shay’s annoying voice.

“I heard Nancy and Bernie were caught in the alley behind the bakery. Rumor has it, they were supposed to be on their lunch breaks, but snuck off to make out where no one could see.”

My jaw clenches. “What?”

“Nancy from the bank? And Bernie who runs the insurance agency, who left his wife last week. I’m sure that’s not a coincidence,” she adds, smiling and shaking her head.

“Shay. Where’s fucking water leak?”

My ex-wife blinks at me a few times. “Oh! I almost forgot! It’s right here,” she says, pointing to the sink and the puddle beneath it in the vanity cabinet.

I get down and check out the drip, noting where it’s coming from. “Go get a bucket.”

“A bucket? Like, from the hardware store?”

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