Page 118 of Love to Fear You


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The hall has descended into utter chaos, but I can’t hear anything over the loud ringing in my ears. Everyone moves in slow motion, and I’m frozen in place, unable to move. A strange sensation overcomes me, as though all the blood in my body is rushing to my ears and my chest. It’s making my heart race a million miles per minute.

This is happening too quickly, like a movie on fast forward. Like it’s happening to someone else.

There’s no way this is real.

People dive down to the floor in each row to escape the path of flying bullets, and in the commotion, someone grabs their chest and falls into the aisle unconscious. Another person running toward the exit is shot by one of the president’s guardsmen, and their body is forced to the ground from the impact of the bullet.

Why is he shooting at civilians? I glance at the other exits, which are either unmanned or have a dead guard on the floor.

The only part of my body I can move is my eyes, and I seek out my dad in the audience. His head pokes above one of the chairs in the third row, and our eyes meet. I can’t hear him, but his message is clear.

RUN.

Something knocks into me from the side, making me fall to the floor with a hard thud. I cry out, but I can’t hear myself over the high-pitched noise buzzing in my ear.

A heavy weight comes down on top of me, and I open my eyes to find Alek shielding me with his body. He’s saying something to me, his panicked eyes glued to mine, but it’s so muffled I can’t make out what it is.

I shake my head. “I can’t hear you.”

He touches my ear, making me jolt in pain, and when he brings his fingers up to inspect them, my blood is smeared on his skin.

Alek’s face is only inches from mine, and I’m lying on the ground beneath him while bullets fly over our heads.

He flips me over onto my stomach and helps me crawl toward the closest wing. Once we’re behind the curtain, he pulls me to my feet and grabs my hand.

And then we’re running.

Alek pushes through the rear exit into a hallway where the dressing rooms are. He presses forward, though it’s a struggle to keep up with his frenzied pace. His grip on my hand is tight, holding onto me for dear life.

I trip over my shoes, but Alek manages to catch me. He pulls me against his chest, and all I can do is stare up into his blue eyes, and a serene smile crosses my lips. The world is tilting on its axis as Alek’s face swims in and out of focus.

His brows knit together and he snaps his fingers in front of my face. The ringing is starting to die down, and I can hear him say, “Snap out of it!”

I blink.

“You’re in shock,” he says, but his voice sounds miles away. “Come on, malishka. Just a little further.”

Did he call me malishka? Am I dreaming?

“We need to run. Can you do that for me?”

I nod, and he helps steady me on my feet. His warm hand wraps around mine once more, and he takes off with me close behind.

We reach the foyer of the school’s entrance, but before we enter, Alek brings us to a stop. Peeking around the corner, he scans the wide, open space.

He presses his back to the wall and signals me to follow, but he holds a finger to his lips. We have to remain quiet. Our footsteps will echo off the marble.

Alek guides me toward the staircase, but he is on high alert, darting his eyes back and forth. When we reach the second floor, he exhales, though tension still grips his body.

He leads me to the third floor, where we pass an empty Löwin Hall. He races toward the men’s bathroom and slams the door shut, locking it behind us.

“Are you okay?” He grabs my chin and moves my head to the side to inspect the blood. “I think a bullet grazed your ear.”

“What happened?” My voice sounds unfamiliar. “I saw one of your guards shoot somebody.”

“I think they were moles.” His lip curls with pure disgust. “Likely planted by the Labor Party. Top businessmen and officials are in that auditorium, including my father, so it was the perfect opportunity for an ambush.”

His face twists with pain before pulling me against his chest. Alek’s arms squeeze me so tight it’s difficult to breathe.

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