Page 119 of Love to Fear You


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“I could have lost you,” he whispers. “Though if a bullet had struck you, I’d have thrown myself in the line of fire and followed you into death.”

I shake my head and step out of his embrace. “I don’t understand. You don’t love me anymore.”

“Malishka, no.” He grabs my hands and moves into my space, staring down at me. “I love you. I never stopped loving you.”

“But you pushed me away.”

He grimaces. “Only to save you from my father… the things he threatened to do to you are unspeakable.”

“I’m not afraid of him.”

That’s a lie, but I’m willing to face my fears to be with Alek.

He gives me a sad smile. “You should be.”

Something wet leaks onto my hand, and I look down to where our hands are connected. I gasp.

There’s blood—and a lot of it, soaking his white sleeve all the way down from his bicep.

“Alek, you’re injured. Take off your shirt and let me see it.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“Don’t be stupid! We need to stop the bleeding.”

Wincing, Alek brings his uninjured arm to his shoulder, where he rips off the long, loose sleeve of his shirt. He sucks in a sharp breath when he hits his injury in the process. “Here. Wrap this around it.”

I do as he says, wrapping the sleeve around his bicep like a bandage. Tying it off with a knot, I check to make sure it’s secure.

“Thank you,” he says. “Good job.”

Normally, I shine from his praise, but given the unknown situation outside, it’s hard to feel anything but terror. And this isn’t the sort of terror that turns me on.

“What now?” I ask. “My dad is in there with Galina. What if they…?”

My breathing accelerates with my heartbeat. In fact, it’s pounding so fast I’m afraid I’ll have a heart attack.

“Malishka, calm down. Look at me.” Alek brings his hands to my cheeks, forcing me to meet his eyes. “You are okay. You’re going to hide in here and wait this out.”

“You mean, we’re going to wait this out. Together, right?”

His mouth captures my own in a fervent kiss, his hands sliding down to my waist. He backs me up against the counter, where he lifts me up and presses his hips into mine.

I grip his neck, losing myself in this moment. A moment I never thought I’d experience again.

Except this time, Alek kisses me like it’s the last time. His love for me is conveyed with his body, and it’s so overwhelming tears spring to my eyes.

He doesn’t use his tongue. Instead, he sucks on my lower lip as though memorizing the shape of it. Savoring my taste and committing it to memory.

And then he breaks our kiss. “Today is not the day you die; do you hear me? Promise me you’ll do everything in your power to survive. And that means staying here until this is over.”

I panic. “Alek, don’t leave me, please.”

“Promise me!”

My lip trembles. “Okay, I promise.”

He steps back, and I shake my head, whispering no over and over like a mantra. His ice-blue eyes trace the lines of my face, and I’m afraid of what it means.

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