Page 35 of Love to Fear You


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I shrug off my blazer and lay it over the back of my chair. I unbutton my white shirt just enough to reveal the hot pink bra I picked out—the one with the cheetah print—specifically to attract attention.

Everyone saw through my shirt on Friday, so we figured it would be easy to draw their eyes while the apple juice incident is still fresh in their minds.

Let them stare. This time, I’m in control.

“Here we go,” I whisper.

Prisha nods, and I stand up from my seat. I cross the hall toward the lunch buffet, making sure to pass by the Aristocrats’ table.

As expected, their eyes zero in on my chest as I walk by, though my cheeks are starting to grow hot under Alek’s intense gaze. I just hope my blush isn’t obvious.

I’m already past their table when Johanna and Irina start to snicker, and I stop, rounding on them.

“What’s so funny?” I ask. I don’t even have to fake the derision in my tone.

Johanna nods at my shirt. “What sort of thrift store bra is that?”

Ugh, fucking snotty bitch.

I look down at myself and feign surprise. “Oh, no!”

The girls burst into laughter, and it starts to catch the eyes of the other students. I glance over at Prisha, who is getting up from our table, and I pray no one catches on to what she’s about to do.

I better draw more attention.

“Wow, I’m so embarrassed,” I say, and I start to button up my shirt again.

“I’d be embarrassed, too,” Johanna answers. “I mean, who wears an obnoxious bra like that under a white shirt?”

“Oh, I don’t think they mind.”

I nod my head at Konstantin and Alek, who are both staring at my rack. Irina elbows her boyfriend in the side.

But Alek is sitting back, an arm thrown casually over the back of his chair. His hooded gaze drifts up to mine as he rakes his bottom lip between his teeth.

“Like what you see?” I ask him, but my voice comes out raspier than intended.

He doesn’t respond, but a shadow of a grin crosses his annoyingly handsome face. There’s something unnerving about his expression, something dangerous, and my alarm only grows the longer I stare into his icy hot gaze.

“Too bad that’s as much as you’ll ever get to see.” My tone isn’t as confident as I would like because he’s already undressing me with his eyes.

I tear my focus away to glance at Prisha. She walks by Johanna’s purse and, without stopping, drops a pill bottle inside.

My job here is done.

“Well, thanks for letting me know, Johanna. You’re a real peach.”

The look of disgust she gives me, like I’m nothing more than peasant scum, makes me laugh.

I fasten the last button before turning away and joining Prisha on her way to the lunch buffet. The outline of my bright pink bra is still visible underneath the white fabric, and I’m still garnering incredulous looks from the other students.

Flashbacks to my high school in Conroe fill my memory, where the girls would stare and whisper behind their hands. But I heard every word.

Even thousands of miles away, I can’t seem to shake my reputation. It’s a ghost that continues to haunt me.

But at the end of the day, I suppose I asked for it. What did I expect?

Different country. Same problems.

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