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“Please try to keep him still.”
Liam didn’t respond, but with the way his mouth was set in a straight line, I imagined his molars were ground down to stubs.
I tried my best to help and stepped closer. “I know it hurts, babes, but the doctor will make you feel better.”
Except at the moment, he wasn’t. This doctor was torturing him. Torturing me.
“It’s a straight cut, but too deep and long to be closed with glue. He’ll need stitches or staples.”
“Staples?” I shrieked, or at least I thought I did from Liam’s and the doctor’s reaction.
The doctor waited for Liam’s answer.
“Whatever’s faster.”
“Staples,” the doctor said with a decisive nod, and it felt like my chest was caving in.
“Is there anything else you can do?” I asked. “Just, like, a big bandage or something?”
The doctor huffed. “No.”
“Well… Okay. Is…is everything else all right? He doesn’t have a concussion?”
He procured a few things from a cabinet. “No. He’ll be fine. Head wounds bleed a lot, but he shows no other signs of trauma.”
I stared at Finn, my chin quivering. “You sure?” The doctor sighed impatiently, but I couldn’t help pointing out, “There’s a lot of blood.”
“Head wounds bleed a lot,” he repeated and peeked around the curtain, calling for the nurse, who entered and instructed Liam to lay Finn down.
“We’ll need to hold him,” the nurse said. “I’ll get his legs and right arm, if you get the left and keep his attention. We need to keep him as still as possible.”
I went hot all over, feeling as if I might throw up. I probably should have taken hold of Finn somehow, but I didn’t have the heart or stomach for it.
The doctor kept the staple gun—literal staple gun—out of sight as he approached Finn on the table.
“Look at me, Finn,” Liam instructed quietly, offering his son a small smile. “When we’re all done, I’ll get you the biggest ice cream, but first, you have to be brave and be as still as possible.”
Finn didn’t respond, his eyes wide and shifting all around as if he knew something was up. He should be scared.
I was so scared.
The doctor quickly and silently cleaned the area then set one hand on Finn’s head and held the gun to the wound. With one quietclick, the first staple was in, and Finn screamed, kicking his legs, and arching his back.
“That’s one,” the doctor said. “Five more.”
The nurse adjusted his hold while Liam moved even closer, attempting and failing to soothe Finn.
I wasn’t sure my heart could break anymore, but watching Finn thrash, shouting to get away as the doctor clicked the gun, I felt it crumble to pieces.
Bile rose in my throat again, but this time, I had trouble keeping it down. I whirled away, squeezing my eyes shut, and dropped my head, trying to regulate my breathing, though it was impossible when I was crying.
Crying for Finn.
For Liam.
For myself.
For what I knew was the end.
