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“Well, there’s not.”
I’m convinced that as long as I keep telling myself that it will end up becoming true because the alternative is that I’m going against everything I planned. This was supposed to be a way to let go of the sexual tension before I left and went back home, my real home, but all I’ve been doing is dreading walking away from this place again.
Autumn eyes me curiously and shrugs. “If that’s what you want to go with, but you’re being pretty obvious.”
I raise a brow. “Oh, is that so?”
She chuckles. “Babe, you should’ve seen your face the moment you saw him talking to her. It was priceless!” Her hand comes down on the table harder than necessary and she smiles. “Andthe kicker of it all? That girl was probably thanking him for helping her out last weekend.”
Yeah, helping coax three orgasms out of her most likely. “With what?”
Autumn smiles. “She got married last weekend and Dawson was the security guard for the event after the original guy she hired backed out on them. Dawson ended up doing it for free.” My blood runs cold at the idea of what I just did and my best friend laughs. “Don’t worry, I’m sure Dawson will find a way for you to make it up to him.”
What the hell did I do?
This is what I get for letting my jealousy take hold of me. I should be scared of what Dawson has planned tonight, but all I can feel is the thrill of the unknown. Will he punish me for what I did today, is that what he meant by paying for my actions?
Arousal is pooling in my belly already and I haven’t even gotten to his house yet. I still have at least seven hours before I’ve got to get myself ready. Autumn wasn’t wrong. I am screwed because this is turning into so much more than I had planned and I’m not sure how to handle it.
Do I go to Dawson’s like he had asked or ignore his text and stay at my parents’ house?
I know I should stay on my own tonight, but the smallest part of me needs to know what he’s going to do. It needs to feel his handcome down on my skin, making it redden, and wonder what he’s going to do next. I’ve never felt as alive as I do when I’m with him. Letting him sink into me and bringing me to release more times than I can count in one night.
We’ve created a routine when it comes to this.
He’ll always start off by putting his face between my thighs, as if he won’t survive if he doesn’t get his nightly taste of me, then I’ll take his dick down my throat until I can’t breathe. I’m craving that high right now and desperate for nine o’clock to be here.
“I think you’re right,” I whisper to Autumn with a frown. “I’m screwed.”
We don’t say anything else as we enjoy our coffee and I can’t thank Autumn enough for ignoring the words I said. I’m sure she has plenty to say, but I probably won’t hear any of it until she knows I need to.
When I finally get back home with a few hours to spare, I take a moment to look through everything I had packed with me and pull out the select few lingerie pieces I’d included in my bag. It wasn’t my plan to ever need them, but they were there in case the need arose. I never imagined that Dawson and I would become the proverbial ‘friends with benefits’.
I’m not even sure what the benefit is because it seems as though the only thing I get out of this arrangement is a bigger craving for him and feelings that have no business popping out.
These feelings are dangerous, especially for my heart, so it would be best if I tucked them away somewhere. Maybe some place where they will never be able to escape again. I’m thinking it won’t be as easy as it was the first time. It’s all different now.
Chapter Fourteen
Dawson
It’s the same thing every morning since Savanna and I started whatever the hell this is. We have our fun at night, then she’s gone by the time I wake up. I should be used to it at this point, but I’m not. Every morning that passes without her body still pressed up against mine. makes my heart crack a little more and I’m worried it’s going to break altogether.
I have an early day at work today, so instead of worrying myself with thoughts of Savanna, I find my uniform and get dressed for the day.
It’s quiet when I get inside. Everyone’s sitting at their respective spaces with their eyes glued to the computer screens in front of them. No one bothers to spare me a glance as I sink into my leather chair and scoot closer to my desk.
Maybe Savanna and I don’t have to keep going like this.
Would one little lunch hurt anyone?
Before I can second guess my decision, I pull my phone out and send a quick text to Savanna.
Me: Join me for lunch today at the park?
I’d love nothing more than to watch my phone throughout my shift, but duty calls and it comes in the form of my best friend who’s smirking at me as he walks near. “Travis,” he says excitedly and I roll my eyes. “You’re looking awfully happy lately, mind telling us what that’s all about?”
He makes a point to be as loud as he can possibly be, causing the rest of the station to look over to us in surprise. In all the years I’ve been here, a smile has rarely crossed my face, but ever since Savanna and I started this weird relationship and routine though, I’ve been more eager to get on with my days, and I am counting down the hours until I see her again.
