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He shrugs. “I’ve been offered a position that would require me to be gone a lot more, so I’m trying to find someone who would be willing to care for Bethany while I’m out of town.”
“How’s that going?” If there’s anything I know about my brother it’s that he’s the most protective parent I’ve ever met and never bothers hiding it.
Just last week while on the phone with him, he was telling me about Bethany riding her bike outside. She slid on the gravel and skinned her knees up a good bit and that was enough for Easton to give up on teaching her.
“I haven’t started the search yet,” he mumbles, not looking me in the eyes.
“Easton, you’ve got to get over this protectiveness sooner or later. She’s getting older and you won’t be able to protect her from everything.”
“I know, I know. It’s just hard after everything that’s happened. I’m terrified that she’ll walk out this door one day and be gone like her mother.”
As much as I want to keep badgering him about being overprotective, I also understand the reason he is. The pain he went through with Elena’s death is something I hope I never have to go through.
There’s a few moments of silence, then the front door is slamming shut and my mom comes into view. She smiles wide when she sees me and opens her arms up for a hug, which I immediately oblige. “How’s he doing, Mom?”
She sighs. “They’re going to monitor him for a few more days in the hospital, but they are hopeful that things will be okay.”
I nod. “That’s good.” This means that I might be able to leave sooner rather than later. Get the hell out of this place before I see any more of Dawson around here. I’m not stupid enough to think that if he’s the first person I saw when I came through that I won’t run into him again while out and about. “Mind if I come with you to the hospital in the morning?”
She shakes her head. “Of course not, sweetie, your father will be so happy to see you.”
My dad loves asking me when I’ll be coming back out to Maple Creek every time we talk on the phone and it only makes my heart ache every time I have to tell him I won’t be. No matter how much I wish I could’ve come back here once in the last seven years, I knew the moment I saw Dawson that things would get rough and that was proven today when he pulled me over.
If I hadn’t seen him, maybe my mind wouldn’t be rolling with image after image of our high school years together. The way his blue eyes would shine as he watched me twirl around in the rain, begging him to come out in it with me, only for my heart to fall even further for him. Little did I know that falling for him was the worst decision I could’ve ever made.
“Sweetie?” My mom asks as she cocks her head to the side. “I promise your father will be okay, we just have to make sure we listen to whatever the doctor says.”
I nod at her statement, not wanting to admit that my somber mood isn’t because Dad is in the hospital, as bad as that sounds, but because of a certain boy who is all man now. She wraps me back in her arms and my gaze clashes with Easton’s. He gives me a sad smile before walking down the hall toward the room he shares with Bethany.
Once Elena died, Bethany had a hard time sleeping in her own room and would constantly wake up in the middle of the night calling for Easton. He thought it would be best if he moved her bed into his room; that way there wasn’t a risk of her waking our parents up, and it’s been smooth sailing for her ever since. I’ve wanted to suggest that he try her own room again since she’sgetting older, but I have a feeling he has her in there with him more for himself now and I don’t want to ruin that.
“You should go get some rest, Mom, I’ll lock up when I head to bed.”
She yawns, as if realizing she probably hasn’t gotten much sleep since my father’s heart attack, and nods. “I might take you up on that. We’ll go for breakfast before heading to the hospital and have a little mother-daughter time that we haven’t got to have in a while.”
I smile at the idea and nod. “That sounds great, Mom. Goodnight, love you.”
Even though I’m twenty-five, I’ll never pass up mother-daughter time. Maybe a quiet breakfast with her is just what I need to fix my mood. I walk through the kitchen and push open the back door, then walk over to the swing hanging on the back patio.
Looking at the stars isn’t something I’m able to do much of in Chicago, only if I make it a point to go somewhere that doesn’t have many lights to overpower the twinkling ones in the sky.
It’s infuriating how vividly I remember my moments with Dawson. He would always drive us to this abandoned farm house located not far from my parents where he would lay a blanket out on the grass and we’d lay on it to look at the stars.
I’m not sure how I managed to convince myself that coming here would be okay when everything I do around here remindsme of everything I once did with Dawson. He looked surprised to see me earlier, sure, but there was another emotion swirling in his gaze that I couldn’t quite place. I scold myself silently before getting up from the swing and heading back inside. I’m obviously not going to be able to stop thinking about him so the best thing I can do is sleep.
It wouldn’t surprise me if he ended up in my dreams too.
For months after I left Maple Creek I had these crazy dreams that starred none other than Dawson. Each one was more agonizing than the last, but they never started out that way. At first, we’d be sitting out by the lake at our spot, laughing together, but suddenly he’d vanish onto the other side of the lake. No matter how hard I swam across the water, trying to make it over to him, I’d pop my head back up and he’d still be the same distance away.
After taking too long to make it over to him, he’d walk away without looking back, even as I screamed his name. It didn’t matter how hoarse my voice got, he’d disappear around the cluster of trees just as he did that night and that’s when I would jolt awake. Sleep wasn’t very easy to come by during those months, which wasn’t ideal when I had college to get through as well.
I spent most days wondering if Dawson was missing me as much as I was missing him, which was stupid considering he’s the one who so easily ended things. It never occurred to me that the future I imagined with him was one that I wouldn’t end up having, and it only angers me.
How could he have left me so easily that night?
Tears were glistening in his eyes as he ended things, but once we went to school the next day, he never even looked at me. It was as if we were strangers. There was no sign that he loved me the way I loved him.
What makes things worse?
