Page 6 of It's Always Been You

“Nah, I think I’m going to spend tonight alone. Do you need me to wait here with you?”

She frowns, but replaces it with a smile quickly. “No need for that. My ride will be here soon.”

I give her a small nod before pushing outside, letting the warm night soak through my skin as I head toward my truck. There’s not much traffic as I make my way home and I have to force myself not to turn toward the Gentry household. Somehow, it isn’t my house where I end up and instead I pull into the parking lot situated by the lake.

My feet ache as I step out of the truck and head in the direction of the trail, grunting through the pain as I step over each hump in the ground. I glance around when I get to the edge of the trail. I can’t remember the last time I came here, probably some short time after Savanna left Maple Creek, and the only explanation I have now is that Savanna is back.

The tree we always used to sit by every Tuesday is still standing tall and I slide my back down the trunk as I sit on the ground below it. I close my eyes, letting the memories take over of Savanna running wildly through the field, her eyes gleaming with mischief as she taunts me. Those Tuesday nights were the only times I was able to get away from my life at home for a little while, and every night I had to head back I’d get nervous that I was about to get busted.

There’s a certain memory trying to push its way into my head, but I keep it hidden because it’s the only one I don’t want to see right now. My head doesn’t care how the memory will make me feel though, as the images flow freely through it. The blanket and candles that I set up under the tree, along with the take-out I had gotten, and the way Savanna looked as she let me strip the clothes off her.

It doesn’t matter how many women I’ve been with since Savanna, no one will ever compare to the way she made me feel. My feelings for Savanna have never once faltered even these years later. The love I had for her back then is still going strong and I’m not sure how to handle them with her here.

After a little while of leaning against the tree, I finally stand up and head back to my truck. The longer I sit here, the more she’s going to run through my head and that’s not what I need.

My house is only a few blocks away, so it doesn’t take me long to pull into the driveway and push through my front door. The large space is dark and quiet, begging for more noise than the crickets that chirp outside provide, and I sigh into the darkness.This isn’t where I had expected my life to be. It was always supposed to be me and Savanna.

Life had other plans for me though and I have to remember the hurt that I caused her. Even though I’d love nothing more than to give her an explanation for my actions seven years ago, I’m not sure that would be a wise decision.

Seeing her today has brought on emotions that I haven’t felt in years. When I get into the open kitchen, I think about what it would be like if Savanna were standing at the stove waiting for me to get home from a long day at work. Would she have dinner waiting for me, or would she take me to the leather sofa in the living room and rub the stress from my body?

I have no right to think of her this way, imagine a life with her still in it, but these fantasies keep coming. Would it be such a bad thing to try winning her back? I’m not the same guy I was back in high school. Things are different now and I know that I’d never hurt her the way I did before.

But does she know that?

Chapter Three

Savanna

I’ve been staring at the darkened TV since I sat down in the living room, my mind going wild with thoughts of Dawson that I don’t want to be having. Out of all the people in town that could’ve pulled me over, did it have to be him? I guess there’s a bright side, even if it’s only for him — he still managed to go through with the life he planned and become a police officer.

The floor creaks as Easton steps into the room, but my gaze doesn’t falter from the screen even as the cushion dips under his weight.

“Sav, what’s going on?” Easton asks softly. “You’ve been acting weird since you walked through the door.”

After Dawson broke my heart and I told Easton all about it, we’ve been the best of friends so talking to him has become easy.I sigh and shake my head. “This is why I never wanted to come back here, Easton.”

“What happened?”

“I got pulled over today for speeding. Want to take a guess at who the officer was?”

Easton’s eyes fall shut and he blows out a rough breath, running a hand through his long hair. “Yeah, I guess I should’ve at least told you that he’s a police officer here in town. How did that interaction go?”

I scoff. “About as well as you’d expect, considering.” I shake my head and give him a small smile. “Enough about me though, how have you been doing?”

He sighs. “Not great. Bethany has been getting increasingly agitated and I’m not sure how to handle it.”

These are the moments when I wish I could help get my brother through all the grief he keeps buried inside. Five years ago Bethany’s mother, and his long-term girlfriend, got into a car accident and she never made it back home. My brother was a mess for months, even going as far as coming to my place with Bethany and staying for a while to gather himself.

It made me feel like shit that I couldn’t get him through one of the worst moments of his life, and it didn’t help that Bethany was acting out at the idea of never seeing her mother again. He’s been doing a lot better, but there are moments when I’m sure hewishes Elena were here to help him through things — like now, when Bethany is acting out.

“Guess it’s a good thing her favorite aunt is here for a little while then, huh?” I ask with a smirk to lighten the somber mood.

Here I am complaining to him about seeing an ex who broke my heart seven years ago, while Easton has to go through life knowing the mother of his child is gone and never coming back. It seems selfish.

Easton chuckles. “You’re her only aunt, Sav.”

“Your point?” I laugh back at him. “How’s work going?”

Source: www.allfreenovel.com