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His eyebrows jump at my statement and he shoves the cold bottle at my chest. “Want to talk about it?”
I sigh. “I went by her place today.”
“Bet that didn’t go well,” he says with a chuckle and I glare at him. His hands go up in the air at the look and he says, “Hey, you’re the one who came here.”
“It went about as well as I expected.”
Knowing I’m the reason that anger was shining in her eyes does something to me that I haven’t felt in a really long time. I walked away from her seven years ago, even as I heard her crying from a distance, and I didn’t bother going back. Nothing hurt me more than listening to her sobs through the night. I’m not sure what I expected when I showed up at her parent’s house tonight, maybe a warmer welcome, but I’m an idiot for thinking that way.
“What are you going to do?”
I shrug. “There’s not much I can do, man. I did all the damage years ago and yet it’s still fresh.”
Gage leans forward with a smirk. “If there’s one thing I’ve learned about women, it’s that they don’t have emotions if they don’t care. If she’s still angry at you for something that happened seven years ago, I’m willing to bet there’re still some feelings buried in there somewhere.”
“Nah, you didn’t see the anger in her eyes. There’s no way there’re still feelings there — maybe resentment and regret for being with me, but nothing more than that.”
She couldn’t still have feelings for me, right?
“I’m just saying, Dawson. In all the years I’ve known you, the only woman to bring out any emotion in you was her.”
I roll my eyes because I know each moment he’s talking about, and every one had something to do with the dates she was always on. She is one of those people who doesn’t have her socialmedia set to private, so it isn’t hard to follow her life through them, and there were a few times that she posted pictures with guys. Gage was the one who saw jealousy roll through me, which usually meant I was a jackass most of the day because the idea of her being happy with someone else always set me off.
They weren’t emotions I deserved to feel, so I ignored them, but how can I keep doing that when the woman who brings them out is in town? It’s only a matter of time before all the love I’ve been keeping inside comes out and I don’t know if I’ll be able to stay away from her, no matter how much she tells me to.
She’s in Maple Creek. There’s bound to be a time when I run into her around town while she’s here. Is it really possible for us to ignore each other the entire time? I sigh and shake my head. “I’m just going to ignore it and try to give her space while she’s here.” Her father just had a heart attack. What kind of idiot worries about the feelings he still has for his high school sweetheart?
The last thing she needs while she’s here to see her dad and make sure he’s okay is for me to come crawling back to her like some lovesick fool.
“Whatever you think you should do man, I’m with you one hundred percent.”
Gage has been by my side through everything, especially after I broke up with Savanna, so he understands how strongly I’ve always felt about her. He knows what I had to give up to be there for my brother, but he never felt the need to tell me what I wasdoing was wrong. We went through college, the police academy, then got the job here in Maple Creek together and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
“I just wish I could’ve done things differently, you know?”
He nods. “I know, but you can’t change the past. It’s possible to change the future though.”
I’d give anything to change the way things are between Savanna and me; I’m sure it’s possible but I’m not sure she thinks it is and that’s what stops me from going back to her. I’m the one who ended things the way I did with no warning, so I deserve to feel the loss of her for the rest of my life.
Even if the thing I want most is her wrapped in my arms.
Chapter Five
Savanna
I’m still fuming and it’s been a couple hours since Dawson had the nerve to step foot on my front porch with flowers, as if that would help anything that he put me through. I slip into the front seat of my car and back out of the drive to head toward the market. I bake when I’m angry, so that’s all I want to do right now. Granted, what I should be doing is getting my work done but that will never happen with Dawson running through my head.
Did he have to show up looking every bit as attractive as he did when I got here? Every year that passed from the last time I saw him I had wished that he would be hard to look at the older he got. I guess this is what I get for wishing bad things on people. There’s nothing ugly about him.
His muscles, although hidden beneath his clothes, were more than noticeable and I wanted to grab hold of them before myanger got the best of me. The look in his eyes when he saw me was enough to have me clench my fists together and kick him off our property. Cop or not, he doesn’t have the right to trespass.
I find an empty spot in the parking lot and cut the engine, glancing around the area at the other customers walking inside the small building ahead. I’m not sure what to expect when I go inside. Will everyone be delighted to see me after all these years, or have I become someone who’s unwelcome?
I’d love to sit in this empty car and worry about what the townspeople think of me, but I have hands that are itching to dip themselves in whatever pastry I choose to make today. Once I get all my anger out in my baking, then I’ll be able to get my work done.
Thankfully my dad is doing much better than the doctor had thought he would, and is even scheduled to get back home in the next couple days, so I’ll be out of here as soon as I know he’s healthy enough for me to go. I slip out of my car, breathing in the fresh air for a minute before locking it and heading toward the market with my head held high. At least if anyone is going to have anything sideways to say to me, I’ll take it with a grain of salt.
A woman carrying a little girl walks ahead of me, quickly depositing the child into a cart, then rushes through the automatic sliding doors. I shake out of my head and grab my own cart, making a beeline for the coolers where the eggs are kept. Once I grab what I’m hoping is enough eggs, I head toward the sugar and flour.
