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Once she reached her bathroom, Cali started the shower and shed her remaining articles of clothing. They too found their way into the hamper before she eased into her tiny enclosure. It was beautiful with smoke gray tile and encased in glass but very small. Barely enough room for one person and two required a closeness that undoubtedly had to be intimate. She knew this with certainty because of him.
Sighing heavily, Cali shook the memory and scrubbed her body until she felt clean. No matter how hard she tried, it was impossible not to revisit memories, especially today. Thirty minutes later she was dressed casually in jeans and a hoodie, ready to conquer the world, or at least try. The steam from the shower caused a slight curl to her natural tresses. She used a wide tooth comb to secure the thick mess of a mane she had a love-hate relationship with into a loose ponytail to at least present the appearance that she cared.
Cali then dragged through her tiny apartment, stopping in the living room to gather her purse and keys, before locking up and heading to the elevator. Her mind was heavy. Extremely heavy. Today would be one of the hardest days of the year. It was the day she met him. The day her life changed in ways she would never recover from. A year to the date, she’d met a man who twisted her world in a complicated arrangement of heavy emotions and lost him six months after. Things happened fast. Cali fell and fell hard. She loved him so intensely she could still feel it to this day. He was everything…until he wasn’t.
What now?
Food!
As soon as Cali was in the car, she thought long and hard about what she wanted to eat. The rumbling in her stomach was now a clear sign it had to be well worth the effort but her mind was at war. The one place she longed for caused a tightening in her chest because it was where she met him and the memories weighed heavy on her spirit. However, the buzz from her phone interrupted the negative descent into that dark place.
It pained her to check because she knew what it was. She wasn’t sure how or who but the money was always there. Everything with Cali and Merritt happened with lightning speed. Two months after meeting him, he moved Cali into a brand new apartment and began monthly deposits into her account to handle all expenses. She hated her job and Merritt convinced her to quit.
He was selfish with her time and didn’t hesitate to step up. Initially Cali refused but Merritt made it clear that his time was limited and he needed complete access. He had a way of getting what he wanted and he wanted Cali without restrictions. In his eyes it was a small price to pay to keep her tucked away and available.
For Cali it meant the freedom to figure out what she really wanted to do with her life. Even in his absence Merritt continued to make sure she was good. The first of every month, a single deposit came through as confirmation that Merritt was a man of his word. Only today his presence felt different. It was her birthday. He wouldn’t dare not show love on Cali’s special day.
Fuck that money.
Fuck you too.
What good is it when I can’t see your face, hear your voice, or…Cali’s thoughts trailed off.
Ignoring the notification and dropping the phone into her lap, Cali pulled out of the parking garage already knowing without a doubt where she was heading, food would have to wait. It was her birthday. She needed to feel close to him and right now she couldn’t go to the one place she wanted. It was his spot, their spot. The beginning of the end, but like a drug that gave her the best highs and the deepest lows, she couldn’t completely stay away...
“Can I get you anything else?” War didn’t speak right away. He was annoyed but didn’t want to react. It wasn’t necessary. She couldn’t help her attraction. The man was beautiful in so many ways. His smooth honey-colored skin didn’t fit his reputation of being deadly. Nor did his low set brown eyes that resembled deep brown crystals when the sun reflected in them and one was blessed enough to be offered their attention.
Women, including this one, were transfixed by his good looks, mysterious aura, and full lips. Lips known around town for causing women to lose their minds. War was easily any woman’s dream. The crazy thing was how imperfectly perfect he was. War wasn’t the pretty boy type. He was hard and rough around the edges from the life he lived.
His rugged exterior could be felt in every inch of his being but he was still beautiful, with his tall lean frame, solid physique, and square jaw which was always clenched just as tightly as his hooded eyes. The scatter of freckles he loathed offered an added layer of complexity to his looks. War was the type of man who caused women to sell their souls just for the chance of becoming relevant in his life. Some had made the transaction and came up empty. He belonged to no one.
The mystery behind him was alluring which prompted the attention he was currently receiving. And didn’t want. For the hour War had been at Carvers, a hole in the wall joint that had history in the city, women had been pining over him, his waitress included. She had been in rotation at his booth damn near every ten minutes, with no merit. The plate she delivered was barely touched, his glass was full, and he had avoided giving her any sort of eye contact. Doing so would have insinuated he welcomed the blatant attempts at getting his attention, which he didn’t.
“No.” Leaning back, War eased his hand into his pocket, removing cash. Peeling off a fifty, he extended it to the woman who was a little too close for his liking. He was particular about people and energy so he valued his personal space. Protected it at all costs by keeping people at bay. She was no different.
“Are you leaving?” The woman frowned slightly, accepting the bill. An uneasy feeling seeped through her body. It was well advised that no one got on War’s bad side.
“No.” The look that followed sent her on her way. She knew very little about him but what facts she held sealed her decision to leave him alone. Appreciative that the exchange was done, War went back to minding his business and waiting. It was her birthday and this was her spot. He’d kept up with her habits enough over the past few months to know she couldn’t stay away.
She’ll show!
She needed the connection. Hell, he did too but for different reasons. Things hadn’t been the same since that day. Carvers was one of Merritt’s guilty pleasures so being here felt like having a small piece of him. War held a weight on his heart so heavy that most days he found it hard to manage. Then there was the guilt. The guilt of wanting a woman who was loved by someone he loved. A woman he could never have. The thought alone caused his chest to grow tight but there wasn’t anything that could be done about it.
Merritt had warned him about Cali and the thought had War smiling. The universe had its way of complicating things and this situation was beyond complicated. And cruel. Even still, he couldn’t bring himself to leave. He had to see her and he felt certain she would show. Seeing Cali was his way of knowing if she was well. Emotionally. Financially, she was set.
The money that hit her account once a month was proof and the added bonus deposited minutes ago only sweetened the pot. War prayed she would use the money to do something nice for herself but was sure she wouldn’t. Anything that would make today a little less devastating to her spirit, lessen the guilt, but he knew better.
Cali was Cali.
The left corner of his lips curled slightly as his mind drifted. He didn’t know a damn thing about her from personal experience. His only connection was observation and the ramblings from Merritt. There were times his cousin would smoke too much and get in his feelings about the woman who had stolen his heart.
She frustrated Merritt to no end because she controlled his movements with the pull he felt toward Cali. One that pushed him to try and make her happy. There wasn’t a damn thing in the world he wouldn’t do for her, except be faithful. War couldn’t understand it. Women were disposable, until the day War laid Merritt to rest and saw her for the first time. She didn’t show up to the funeral because Merritt kept her detached from his life, but War found her that evening, sitting in Carvers, in the same booth he was in at the moment. She looked lost and heartbroken. It was then he understood why Merritt fell so hard and why he kept Cali detached from the dark side of his life.
She was beautiful but it wasn’t her looks that changed a man’s way of thinking. Cali had that thing. A sweetness, a purity and calm that could bring a man to his knees. There was also a loneliness he felt compelled to alleviate. A sense of pride that she refused to need anyone but desperately desired the loyalty of someone who would cover her in ways that would make her feel whole. She was everything that conflicted with the type of man War was. Light goodness where he was tainted and dark.
The corner of his lips curled again at the memory. Catching the fact that she made him step outside of his norm by smiling had War’s face twisting into his normal scowl again.
He rarely ever showed emotion. It wasn’t his thing. Emotions gave people an in and he didn’t want anyone in. Quickly adjusting his mood, he pushed his plate out of the way and lifted his phone. Scanning the screen for the time first, he then cleared a few texts which he had no urgency in responding to.
