AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Cali sat comfortably across from the woman who had been helping her sort through the craziness that went on in her head. After the night she spent with War, Cali retreated into her feelings, unsure how to process what she was experiencing.
Because of that uncertainty, she’d stayed away from War, only communicating through text but even that proved to be a lot to handle. That was what landed her in the office of Dr. Kaden, or Dr. K as she was referred to by most of her patients. Cali had been seeing her for years now for various reasons. The most recent was after Merritt died and Cali sank into a deep depression.
She attempted to manage on her own but eventually gave up and made an appointment with Dr. K who she saw several times a week for the first three months. When Cali began to pull out of her depression and felt like she could manage on her own, she stopped going as often, only reaching out when she needed help processing feelings. Seeing a shrink was hard at times. It made Cali feel inadequate but she knew deep down inside it was necessary and healthy to do so.
“So, would you like me to ask questions or do you just want to talk?” Dr. K began slowly, offering Cali a soft smile. After years of working with her she knew how Cali worked. She didn’t function well when pushed too hard so Dr. K always allowed Cali to take the lead with their sessions.
“I met someone.”
“Really? When?”
“A few weeks ago.” Cali’s eyes smiled. “And you know what’s weird?”
She paused and Dr. K offered a slight nod, prompting Cali to continue.
“I met him when I was visiting Merritt.”
“Oh.”
“He’s…” Cali inhaled and released it slowly. “Nice. I like him but he reminds me a lot of Merritt.”
“How so?”
“I don’t know; I can’t really explain it. We don’t feel random or new. More like comfortable. There’s just something about him that makes him feel familiar and me feel safe, like I can trust him. I feel connected. In ways that I haven’t in a long time.”
“Since Merritt?” Dr. K’s question was unassuming. She was only seeking clarity but Cali read between the lines.
“Yeah. But they’re different too. They’re not the same person. I’m not confusing one for the other.” Her tone turned defensive which Dr. K immediately picked up on.
“I didn’t say you were, Cali.”
“But it’s what you’re thinking.”
“No, I wasn’t. This is not about what I think. This is about how you feel. I’m only here to help you sort through things and make sense of them. Tell me how they’re different.”
“War is a lot older and he’s more reserved. More mature I guess. He doesn’t talk much and Merritt would never shut up.” Cali laughed at that thought. “I don’t know. They’re alike in a lot of ways, but with both of them I just feel connected.”
“That’s a good thing. I only suggest that you’re careful with what’s real and what’s not because of that connection. Sometimes you allow yourself to see and feel what you want instead of what really is.”
“Is that what you think this is, that I’m associating him to Merritt or trying to replace Merritt with War?”
“Are you?”
Cali laughed sharply.
“I was hoping you could tell me that.”
Dr. K grinned and leaned back, lifting one brow as she peered at Cali. “That’s not how this works, sweetheart. You already know that. It does you no justice if I simply tell you how or what to feel. That won’t help.”
“Maybe not but it will at least give me something to go by.” She paused, exhaling a sharp breath. “A little clarity.”
“Come on, Cali, you don’t need me to tell you anything. Just be honest with yourself and your feelings.”
“I had sex with him.” Cali’s eyes lowered to her hands and remained there until she heard Dr. K’s voice.
“It’s healthy to be physically attracted to someone. As long as it’s on your terms and your decision to explore that attraction then I think it’s good for you to satisfy your physical needs.”
“Oh it was definitely my decision.” Cali smirked, rolling her eyes. “I’ve only known him for a few weeks so you know, there’s that part.”
