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He was everything she needed and that was good enough. Not being truly loved the way she should have been by her biological parents and adoptive parents broke something in both Cali and Conner. She knew that now, thanks to Dr. K, but back then, she just allowed Merritt to be her world and fill her up with all the things she missed.
“No,” Cali said subtly and shook her head. When her eyes met Conner’s she added, “I didn’t ask because I didn’t want to know. I was broken. Am broken and so are you but at least I can admit that I have work to do. You’re in denial, Conner. You’re with a man who treats you like shit and you let him because what little love and affection he gives fills a void you don’t know you need. That’s what Merritt was to me; only his love didn’t hurt me. It gave me something good. So no, I didn’t ask if I was the only one and I didn’t push to be a part of whatever else existed in his life. I accepted what he gave. It was what I needed. We all cope in different ways.”
Cali could see the walls lifting with her sister. She wasn’t ready to face her truths the way she had been which was confirmed when she spoke. “Then be different with War. Ask the right questions and make him give you everything you deserve. Not just what you think you need to make up for what we never had.”
“And what about you?” Cali asked.
“I’m good, Cali. I’ll figure it out in my own time.” Her smile was focused and guarded so Cali decided to let things be what they were. “If you’re not seeing him this weekend, I was thinking that we could go out.”
“Go out?” Cali didn’t like the sound of that.
“Yes. Like to a club or something. It’s been forever and we used to do that all the time.”
“Before you had a man who started controlling your every move.”
“I choose not to go out. That has nothing to do with him.” Conner rolled her eyes to camouflage the lie.
“Either way I’m not interested.”
“Why not?”
“Because there’s nothing fun about overpriced drinks, getting the smell of smoke in my hair, niggas trying to fuck and feeling like they have the right to because they got a fresh cut and purchased a new fit.”
Conner threw her head back and laughed. “Well damn if you say it like that then no. There is nothing appealing about your version of going out. I was thinking something a little different. We can pregame. Have a few shots when we get there, dance until our legs give out, then hit up Carvers for some greasy food that will have us praying to God for forgiveness if we survive the night.”
“You think that sounds fun?”
“To me, yeah. I need it and so do you.”
“No.”
“Please….” There wasn’t much Cali would deny her little sister and as much as she hated the idea of going to a club of any kind, she offered an alternative.
“What about Black Diamonds?”
“Isn’t that fancy?” Conner’s displeasure showed on her face.
“It’s upscale, yes, but the crowd will be mixed and one I can tolerate.”
“Yeah, I’d rather go to The Spot.”
“And I’d rather not have to dodge bullets. It’s Black Diamonds or nothing.” The last time Cali went to The Spot, which was across town near Crescent Manor, she and Conner ended up hiding in the bathroom when two rival gang members decided it was a good idea to shoot at each other from opposite sides of the club. They both escaped unharmed but the night was ruined and Cali had no interest in repeating that experience.
Conner twisted her expression. “I forget about that.”
“I didn’t. So you down or not?”
“Yeah, Black Diamonds is cool. The owner is fine as shit…”
“And very married.”
Conner waved her off. “I know, but I can admire his sexy ass from afar. And all the Sharks and Royals go there. I see it on their timelines with the ones I follow.”
Her sister’s mention of Crescent Falls pro football and basketball teams would have normally prompted Cali to say something slick but she was just happy Conner was showing interest in entertaining another man, even if the goal was far-fetched.
“But…” Conner rushed out dramatically, letting Cali know she wasn’t going to like what followed. “I don’t think either of us have anything Black Diamond worthy. We should go shopping, and before you say no, clearly you have the money and you said you would be there for me. This is being there for me.”
“How?” Cali challenged
