AllFreeNovel
Share Us
There was another factor in all of this—me. If I continued to be around Diesel and his club, then I would be putting them in danger. Whatever secrets my mom and Stacy found, what if someone thought I knew them too?
I thought long and hard about my choices, and decided there was nothing else I could do. I needed to distance myself from Diesel and from the Steel Demons. I couldn’t be around them all, pretending we’re one big happy family when it could all end at any time. While I now knew there was a link between my mom and sister’s disappearances, if anything it made it clear that there was a family curse, and the only way I could save myself and my kids—or anyone close to me—was to shut myself off. I would pull back emotionally, while allowing Diesel to have free access to Leo. It would hurt like hell at first, but it would get easier over time.
I hoped.
I’d said it to Ryan once, and I had to remind myself about it again. The best way to keep someone in your life was to not love them.
Breakfast was my first attempt to test my strength. I made pancakes and bacon, which father and son gobbled up like it was a gourmet feast. I smiled and accepted their praise with what I hoped was an aloof but believable smile.
“You’re wearing more syrup than you ate,” I told Leo, who giggled as he took in his syrup-covered fingers.
“I’ll wash up, Momma.”
“Thank you. I’ll be up in a second.” I cleared the table and loaded up Diesel’s dishwasher, all the while feeling the weight of his gaze on my back. He was watching me closely, searching for signs I was okay.
I was anything but okay. I felt nauseous, pregnancy hormones made me want to cry, and my plan to separate myself from the man I loved was tearing me apart.
“I want you two to spend the day at the clubhouse.” It was the same deep voice as usual, but his tone was wary. He was unsure of himself.
I turned to face Diesel, taking in his ruggedly handsome face, those piercing blue eyes, and I sighed. “I have too much to do today, and I’ll need as much quiet as I can get.”
His gaze studied me carefully, his lips pulled into a tight, dissatisfied line. He knew I was lying but he didn’t call me on it. “You’ll let me know if you leave the house?”
I nodded. “Of course.”
“Okay,” he sighed, and pushed away from the table, closing the physical distance between us. “You can talk to me, sweetness. You know that, right?”
I nodded. I knew that I could, but I just couldn’t say what I needed to say. I didn’t want to hurt Diesel and I knew my words would hurt him, so I said nothing. “I appreciate you.”
He nodded and wrapped an arm around me before pressing a kiss to my forehead. “I more than appreciate you, Ellie.” He tilted my face up to his and brushed the softest kiss to my lips before he stepped back and left the kitchen.
My hands shook as I listened to him go upstairs to say goodbye to Leo. They laughed together. They were easy together and I would never take that away from either of them. My feelings would fade, I was sure of it, and until then I would happily suffer to see Leo as happy as he’d been since his father found us.
Despite two sleepless nights in a row, the words came easily for me, and I wrote all day while I watched Leo make his own fun in the backyard. He was such a good kid, amusing himself with games he made up, time on the tablet, and even a quick nap. Gio showed up soon after Diesel had left and was hanging mostly in the living room, but ducked out the door for five minutes at around lunch before returning with food and Chopper, and I spent three hours writing to the sound of my son’s joyful laughter.
I got lost in the life of my hero, who most definitely resembled Diesel, with his sexy blond locks, broad shoulders, and a narrow waist that gave way to strong legs. The heroine in this book, a detective, she was strong enough to go after what she wanted. Strong enough to admit she was in love with her man and brave enough to do whatever it took to make him hers. I was too terrified to go after what I wanted—Diesel, and the life we could have together.
Work and thoughts of Diesel occupied most of my day, but by late afternoon the nausea had returned, reminding me once again of why I couldn’t voice my feelings and go after what—and who—I wanted.
Desperately.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Diesel
“Someone here to see you, Diesel.” Tess stood on the other side of the office door.
“Who is it?”
She shrugged. “Said his name is Rob. Some fancy fuck in an expensive suit.”
I snapped my fingers to get the attention of Rocky, Hawk, and Maverick and pointed to the door. If it was who I thought it was, that motherfucker had a reason for coming here. “Thank you, Tess.”
She nodded and walked away.
I stood and stretched my neck muscles, flexed my fingers, and took a deep breath before I sent a quick text to Slate before I left the office to confront the man trying to take everything I love.
“Robert Carter.”
