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“That’s not all. Your mom was looking into The Carter Foundation when she disappeared.”
“Holy shit,” she muttered. “Are you sure?”
“Positive. It was just a theory that there was a link between them, until he showed up at the clubhouse today.”
“What?” Ellie was on her feet, pacing the length of the kitchen. “Did he threaten you? Did he confess?”
“Not yet, but he will.”
“How can you be so sure?” She nibbled her bottom lip, which she only did when she was worried or deep in thought.
“I have my ways, sweetness.”
“Oh.” Her eyes rounded in surprise, but I was happy I didn’t see any fear.
“I’m sorry, Ellie. I’m sorry that I had to be the one to tell you about your mom and Stacy. I didn’t want to, but I had to tell you. It had to be me.” I hope she understood.
Her expression shifted to sadness as she came to me and cupped my face with her hands. “I’m not angry at you for telling me, Diesel. I’m incredibly fucking grateful to you for keeping your word and finding out what you have.”
My hands settled at her hips, and I pressed my forehead to hers. “Then what’s the problem, sweetness. You’ve been pulling away from me since I told you.”
“I’m fucked up,” she said with a quiet breath. “Remember what I told you after our first night together?”
I nodded. “Everyone leaves.”
“Exactly. And what happened to them is just another reminder. It brought all the old worries and fears back to the surface. I’m frightened to love anyone.”
My heart ached for all my woman had lost, and I turned my head to kiss the center of her palm. “I love you, Ellie. I’ll give you the space you think you need, but I ain’t going anywhere.”
“You can’t promise that.” Her smile was sad, like she wished I could make that promise and keep it.
“Ellie,” I growled, forcing her gaze to meet mine. “I will burn down this whole fucking world to make sure I always come home to you and to Leo. Believe me when I tell you that nothing short of death will keep me from you.”
“Death is the problem,” she whispered in a watery voice.
“I’m stronger than death,” I told her with smile. “I have too fucking much to live for to let death take me yet.” And then, because I didn’t want to see that fear or sadness on her beautiful face, I pulled her close and kissed her, ravished her mouth like the hungry bastard that I was because I hadn’t tasted her in too many fucking days.
It had been too long for both of us judging by how she arched into me and deepened the kiss. It wasn’t exactly what I wanted from Ellie, but it was a sign.
She was scared and worried, but she wasn’t done with me. Wasn’t done with us.
Not by a fucking long shot.
It was enough to keep me hopeful.
It was more than enough to keep me focused on ending the threat to my MC and my family.
Chapter Thirty
Ellie
The past few days blended together, a blur of writing and playtime and sunshine. Dinners with Leo and Diesel, late nights inside the office, working on the future, and hanging around at the club a little more. I kept trying to focus on Diesel’s words—that he would never leave me. Some days I almost believed it.
It was so easy to fall into a life with Diesel, so very easy it was almost scary. Even the club stuff wasn’t as much of a barrier as I thought it might be. When he needed me near but had to head off on club business, he continued to drop me off at the main bar with Leo during the day and I was starting to get well acquainted with some of the prospects and bar tenders there, and even the sweeter club bunnies, especially Tess. I was coming to terms with the club culture, that strong sense of loyalty and comradery that they all had, especially the men, and I was still starting to feel like I was in a place where I could fit in. They were like a family. A big, gruff, biker family who l was seriously beginning to trust.
And because I was a broken woman, this only made me more scared. Scared of what I could lose.
But today was a new day and I planned to start living my life the way I should have been all along, I was going to stop being scared, I was going to live in the moment and appreciate the people around me. Whether I did the right thing or the wrong thing, a long life wasn’t guaranteed, Mom and Stacy were proof of that.
