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Ladon gave me a curt nod, like he understood everything I was thinking. One day, we will be free. And we will kill them all. You and me.
The rest of the night passed in a blur. More bodies. More loud laughter and smell of smoke. More spilt wine. I did my best to drown out everything around me, meeting Ladon’s gaze whenever I could. The only thing that kept me upright was his solidarity.
As the guests began to leave and Ladon and I were dismissed, Reyna pulled me to the side.
“Here,” she said, thrusting a small vial into my hand. For a second, I thought it was the one we’d stolen from the library office, but this one had more of a copper tint than the empty glass vial we’d taken. The contents inside were dark and a similar consistency to the cream I put in my coffee.
“What is it?”
She shrugged one shoulder. “Drink it and find out.”
I hated Reyna and her games, but there was no denying her. If I didn’t voluntarily drink it, she’d force it down my throat or inject it into my veins.
I downed it in one gulp. I’d expected something more bitter, but it was light with notes of citrus.
“Now will you tell me?”
“A contraceptive. You’ll be required to take them weekly from here on out.”
She took the empty vial from my hand and shoved me toward Luther. I followed him back to our bedroom, still in shock.
Chapter Thirty
Emilie
I disappeared into the bathroom as soon as I got back. Ladon had returned a few minutes before me and had already showered, judging by his wet hair and rosy pink skin.
Once I finished, I settled into bed next to him. My mind still raced with thoughts of impending doom. I’d swallowed the tonic Reyna had given me without a second thought. Clearly, my luck had run out. Things were only going to get worse from here. Very, very worse.
“You’re restless,” Ladon said rather matter-of-factly.
I sighed. I couldn’t lie to him. But the thought of telling him the truth was equally terrifying. It was a vulnerability that I’d yet to share with him.
“Tell me something honest,” I said instead, hoping for a decent distraction from both my whirling thoughts and the aching between my thighs.
Ladon repositioned, turning on his side to look me in the eye. “I know you’re avoiding something, but I’ll play along.”
The warmth of his skin was a minor distraction in and of itself.
“I worry about you. And not just because I’m supposed to be this grand protector. Your pain”—he tapped his chest—“I feel your pain in my chest, like it’s my own. Your fear is my fear, Emilie. When I saw you tonight…it killed me. I worry about you because I’m terrified of losing you.”
I forced myself to swallow and found myself unable to speak for a few very quiet moments. “I worry about you, too. Even more than I worry about myself, if that’s even possible. I think…I think you might be the person I care about most in this life.”
His mouth twitched into a semi-smile. “Is that your truth?”
I shook my head, and he narrowed his gaze intently.
“I want you to have sex with me,” I blurted before I could second guess myself.
His eyes went wide and his mouth hung open, and gods did I hate myself for wanting to taste that beautiful bottom lip. To trap it between my teeth.
My heart was racing, but I carried on before I lost momentum. “Reyna gave me a contraceptive today. I think…I’m certain that things are going to escalate.”
Speechless, he gave me a look that said to carry on.
My hands trembled. “I’ve never…I’ve never had sex. And if I’m going to be forced…well, I want my first time to be mine. I want control over that much, at least. I don’t know how much more humiliation I can handle and I just need…I need this to be my own. And of course I realize that you’re involved in this too. I don’t want you to think that I’m not considering your position in all this. And what you might be thinking or feeling. And you’ve been stripped of things too, so obviously you can say no—”
“Emilie.” His voice cut into my endless rambling. We stared for an endless moment, during which I regretted everything I’d spilled. “Yes.”
