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“Yes?”
“I will have sex with you.”
“Oh,” I said and then nodded like it was a nervous tic. Like I couldn’t stop myself from bobbing my head like a brainless bird.
Again, that heavy silence sank between us. “Now what? I mean, what…what do we do?”
Gods, I’d imagined my first time in many different ways, but I never imagined I’d be a nervous wreck who could barely string a sentence together. I also never imagined it would be with Ladon, but I’d been wrong about that too.
I could hear him struggle to swallow. Like it was painful for him, too. Had it been selfish to ask this of him? Was it too late to take it back?
“This contraceptive…you took it already? And it’s…effective?” he asked.
I nodded and bit my lip. “I think so, yes.”
In return, a low torturous rumble caught somewhere in his throat. He looked me up and down and I was certain my heart was going to pound out of my chest.
“Okay,” he said, shifting his weight till he was propped between my legs.
His proximity, the full essence of him covering me, caused me to suck in a sharp breath. My entire body was shaking.
“Relax,” he said. And if that was not the most unrelaxing thing he could’ve said. He huffed a laugh, like he could read my thoughts. And then his fingers on his right hand interlaced with mine. He squeezed lightly, and I squeezed back.
“Should we…” he toyed with the loose fabric lying over my belly and I shook my head fiercely.
“Can we keep that on?” The idea of being exposed…it made my anxiousness unbearable. I’d been stripped bare for too many people.
He gave me a quick reassuring nod and then fumbled with the button of my pants. For a second, I almost believed that he was as nervous as I was, but that couldn’t be. He’d done this before. What did he have to be nervous about? He smoothly unfastened my pants and pulled them down over my hips.
It never ceased to amaze me all the ways I could worry about inconsequential things in the midst of catastrophe. How terrible the shampoo was…how bland the bread was…the complete and utter lack of sex appeal of my undergarments…
Rough fingers skimmed the skin above my hips, dipping down until they hooked under the elastic band.
He pulled them down a fraction of an inch and my chest came off the mattress. I couldn’t breathe. Was this what hyperventilating felt like?
“Emilie,” he groaned, sliding a hand beneath my shirt and splaying it over my stomach. He gently pressed me back to the bed, rubbing his thumb against the underside of my breast. “Are you sure about this?”
“Yes, yes. It’s only going to be worse if I have to do it for Reyna’s entertainment. Please. Please do this for me.”
He tilted his head in a way that told me he clearly wasn’t convinced. His thumb kept stroking, kept drawing deep and slow breaths from me, until I realized the pounding of my heart had returned to a somewhat normal rate.
When he was satisfied with my more relaxed state, he returned his focus to my panties. This time, I let him slide them off in one fluid motion.
The rumble that sounded in his chest was pure animalistic. It ignited something inside me and made me want to run my hands over him. To see if I could make him repeat it.
He shifted his weight toward the end of the bed and lowered to his forearms, his head poised right above my bare cunt.
He licked his lips and his breath was hot against my throbbing clit.
“What are you doing?” I asked frantically.
His shoulders shook with a chuckle, and his head fell to rest on my hipbone. “Emilie.” He drew my name out like it pained him to say it. All I could do was bite my lip and stare, waiting for him to do something. Something other than resting his head, that beautiful head of white hair, on my hipbone. I shifted a bit nervously.
When he lifted his head again, his eyes were filled with lust as they bore into me.
Keeping his eyes on me, he used one arm to lift my leg over his shoulder, brushing it with his chin in a move so intimate I was hearing color and seeing sound. My senses were heightened in an unnatural way. I shivered when he turned and, rather than his chin, his lips skimmed over my inner thigh.
I grasped at the sheet beneath me and his eyes returned to meet mine. “If we’re doing this, we’re doing it right.”
