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“Are you trying to get me drunk so I spill all my secrets?” She was attempting to joke, but the sadness beneath her tone made him step closer and push back her hair. He couldn’t seem to stop himself from touching it. Now wasn’t the time to think about fisting his hands in it and kissing the hell out of her, but damn if the image didn’t cross his mind. They needed to get some things out in the open before anything physical was even on the table.
“Whatever works, as long as you know your secrets are safe with me.”
“I know that, or I wouldn’t be open to sharing anything at all. It’s not something I like to relive, but if we are going to live within the same walls, you should know some of my history. It’s not uncommon for me to have those nightmares, although I had no idea I screamed in my sleep. Now I wonder how often I disturb Jacob or concern him during the night.”
He held out his hand, palm up. “Let’s talk in the living room.” She placed her hand in his and slid off the stool.
“I’m programmed to be aware and alert.” They walked over to the couch. Brynn sat in the middle, curling her feet beneath her like a cat. “Even during rest. It’s possible that Jacob never woke up or heard a thing. Even the slightest noise will wake me from a deep sleep.”
“And you still want me to stay in the same home? I can’t guarantee I won’t wake you up, and your job is dangerous. Sleep is important.”
“If you have a nightmare,” he said, taking her smooth hand back in his own, “I want to hear it, Brynn. Maybe it’s too soon to sleep in the same bed, but if you’re scared, I want to hold you like I did last night. I want you to feel safe and protected even when I’m not around. As soon as the offer is accepted on the house, I will install a security system, so you feel secure when I’m on missions. I won’t be able to tell you where I am or how long I’ll be gone, but know I’m doing everything I can to get back in one piece.”
Her face sobered. Shit. Maybe he shouldn’t put the thought that he could be maimed or killed into her head. Still, she deserved to know what she was getting into if she took a chance on him. Once he told her what Joker had done, she might not want to be under the same roof at all.
“Listen, Brynn. I have to tell you something. It’s not something I asked for. Certainly not something I’m happy about. Actually, it pissed me right the fuck off. Joker looked into your past, and he looked deep.” He held his breath, waiting for her reaction. It was a violation for sure, and he’d thoroughly reamed out Joker for making that call behind his back.
Brynn’s expression blanked. “That’s what he wanted to talk to you about at the home tour this afternoon. The thing that couldn’t wait.”
“Yes,” he answered, and Brynn removed her hand from his, tucking her arms around her waist. Hell. She was putting physical distance between them already, and he couldn’t blame her one bit.
“Well?” Her voice was so quiet, it nearly was lost in the low hum of the central air-conditioning unit.
“He told me about the police report. Why did it get shoved under the rug? Why would the police think you were making that up?” Again, the breath bottled in his chest as he waited for her response. He didn’t give a damn what the report said. Brynn was honest by nature.
She seemed to fold into herself, distress and sadness pulsing around her, so thick it was palpable. “That’s why I stopped telling. No one could see past my brother’s façade. He was the football captain. So smart he was the top of his class. Charming, too. Well-liked. He was going to be something. I was nothing special—an average student, with unremarkable traits, not popular like Fergus.”
Her words pissed him off. He wanted to be the person to show her how remarkable she really was. “Joker said a family member reported the abuse.”
She nodded. “My nana did. I had told a teacher once, too, and my parents a couple of years before that.” Her chin dipped, and with it, his heart. He wanted to wrap her up and protect her from the memories, but he had to know. His brother’s safety might depend on it.
“Shit. Brynn, I’m so sorry.”
She looked up, and her eyes were wide. “I haven’t even told you what happened, but it sounds like…” She let the words trail off and glanced down.
“What, Brynn?” he encouraged.
“Like you believe it happened.” Her gaze raised up, and what he found there nearly gutted him. Unshed tears pooled along her lower lids, but behind the glassy surface there was a hint of hope.
“Because I do. I might not know the little things about you like your favorite color, but I know enough. I know you love Sprite and ugly dogs. You’ve got a sweet tooth and you’re honest…so much that you’d think of returning a library book when your world has been turned upside down. You were willing to go without pay and take responsibility for my brother, and sell all of your things to make it work. You make him laugh and give him the dignity and respect he deserves. You open your heart to strangers experiencing the same journey and offer them a shoulder to lean on. So yeah, I might not know the details of what happened, but I know enough about you, about the stuff that’s important, to know I believe you. And Brynn?”
“Yeah?” she croaked out, tears now freely streaming down her face.
“There is not one thing average or unremarkable about you.” There was a tremor in her hunched shoulders. In the time he’d known her, she stood straight and strong. It physically hurt to witness her pain. “Will you tell me what happened?” he said, changing the subject. “When did it start?”
Brynn withdrew into herself again, curling up even tighter as though the memories would swallow her up. This time, though, she unwound her arms from her waist and sought his touch, slipping her hand into his. Made him feel even worse that Joker had stumbled upon an event so traumatic it had rocked her young world.
“I mentioned that I grew up in Ireland.” Her voice was quiet, almost fragile. “That my grandmother traveled to the United States with me. It wasn’t some grand adventure. It was an escape.” She paused and took a few breaths. Tension swirled within him, tightening and pulsing beneath his skin. What the hell had she been through? “Since the moment I was born, my brother hated me. I know that because I bear scars I don’t even remember receiving. Old ones. He had been the only child and the sole recipient of my parents’ affection. Like I said, Fergus was gifted in many ways. He had a talent for numbers, and his teachers loved him. He was studious and always said the right things to adults around us. Money wasn’t tight, but it wasn’t abundant either. Fergus took the opportunity to strike when my parents were at work or preoccupied with other things.”
She went silent as if choosing her words carefully. He gave her the time she needed, even though possible scenarios were racing through his head, each worse than the last. His skin was crawling with the need to pull her into his arms, but he stayed rooted in place. She might be unable to make it through what she was about to say with him holding her.
Brynn shifted uncomfortably. “He took great pleasure in telling me how he tortured and killed small animals, but I stupidly believed that he’d made those stories up to taunt and frighten me. I knew he was telling the truth when he began to turn the torture on me.” She took a shuddery breath, and his free hand curled into a tight fist of rage. He tucked it into the pocket of his sweats, so he didn’t scare her.
“How old were you when the abuse began?” His voice was coated in darkness. Cold and hard. It was the voice his teammates and enemies were used to hearing.
“The first time I remember Fergus hurting me, I was around seven. The day before, Fergus said he had a secret surprise that he wanted to show me. I didn’t want to go with him, but he was babysitting, so I didn’t have a choice. He walked me down to a cave along the shoreline where he kept his projects. Inside, he made me look at every single mutilated dead animal that had the misfortune of falling into his hands. Kittens. Shrews. Hedgehogs. It was clear he did all sorts of sick experiments in that cave. That night, I told my parents about what I’d seen. They didn’t believe me, though. They told me to stop telling stories.”
“Shit, Brynn. Please tell me they looked in that cave.”
