Page 19 of Sworn to Lead


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“I begged them to let me show them the location. It was so close to the house, but they refused to feed into my little tantrum. They said even if it were true, boys will be boys. It was the same at school. No one could believe the smartest, most popular student at school could do anything wrong. Fergus found out that I had told my teacher and said I was the next animal that was going to end up in his cave.” She was breathing hard, hands trembling in her lap.

“Take your time, sweetheart. Can’t be easy to talk about but I’m damn proud of you.” He flexed and fisted his hand repeatedly inside his pocket, fighting for calm, even while holding her other hand gently in his. She nodded, eyes glassy and clouded with fear.

“He dragged me down the slope and back among his projects. I must have lost consciousness when he slammed me into the rocks because when I woke up, he was gone. My pants were around my ankles. The word liar was carved into my thigh. I stumbled up the cliffs, fighting to get back home. Fergus and my parents sat at the kitchen table eating dinner like their seven-year-old hadn’t been missing in the middle of a storm. My parents grounded me for staying out past dark. I tried to tell them what happened, but they said my lies were getting concerning. I tried to show them the word on my leg, but my mother slapped me and told me to go upstairs and stay in my room for the rest of the night. Typically, I went to the market with my mother on Sundays to help her sell her blankets, but Fergus had to watch me because I was grounded. I tried once more to tell a teacher, but Fergus broke three of my toes. I didn’t tell on him after that. I should’ve told Nana what was going on to start with, but after the teachers and my own parents didn’t believe me, I thought she would have no reason to either. It wasn’t until years later that she noticed one of my scars and demanded to know what had happened. After that, she confronted my parents and Fergus, but they still denied it. Fergus was their golden child. They refused to do anything about the situation, so Nana packed me up, and we flew to the United States. She saved my life. I’m sure of it. The abuse was getting worse and worse, and I didn’t know how to defend myself. I was twelve then. If I fought back, he hurt me tenfold or made up lies to spread around the schoolyard trying to discredit me.”

“Jesus, Brynn.” His jaw was clenched in anger toward her sorry excuse for parents. Nearly as much as the older brother who should’ve protected her but repeatedly assaulted her. He wanted to fly across the country and throttle the twisted bastard. Wanted to rage at her parents for choosing one child over the other. He was an asshole for thinking he had a rough childhood. He was neglected, sure, and left alone most of the time, but no one was there to beat him or torture him. How Brynn was sitting in front of him, had made something of herself, was a miracle. And the fact that she chose a career helping and nurturing others? A testament to her unbreakable spirit. The respect he had for her, which was already high, kicked up another notch. This woman might look delicate, but she continued to prove she had a spine of steel.

“I’m so damn sorry, Brynn. Sorry that no one stepped up and looked into the allegations against Fergus. I hate your parents for letting him get away with hurting you. Your grandmother did what every person before her should’ve done and whisked you away so no one could hurt you. Please tell me you eventually got some justice? That Fergus had to pay for his crimes.”

Her long hair swayed as she shook her head. “No, the last time I saw him, he held my head in a bucket of ice water. Later that afternoon, my grandmother visited and noticed I was lethargic. She demanded to know what had happened. Then I showed her what he carved into my legs so many years before and the burn marks and lacerations on my body.”

“How could your parents deny something so visible?” Hostility welled up inside him at the hurt and fear that the child Brynn once was had endured such terror.

“They said I must’ve done it myself to spite Fergus. To make him look guilty. It hurt nearly as bad as the abuse that they would reject me so easily. That they didn’t believe my words. My grandmother saved my life that day. I’m sure of it. I don’t know how much longer I would’ve survived. As far as I know, Fergus went on living as he had been. The golden child playing his sick games. Nana reported him to the local police, but I don’t know what came of it if anything.”

He sat silently for a moment, trying to gather his frayed edges and lock his emotions down, so he didn’t frighten her. “You would’ve survived. I have no doubt you would’ve found another way to escape, but I’m glad that someone stepped up for you and had your back. I wish I could’ve met your grandmother. She sounds almost as strong as her granddaughter. You amaze me, Brynn. I know a lot of hard-ass SEALs who would’ve cracked under similar pressure, yet you’re brave enough to be as kind and good as you are.” He reached for her now, pulling her onto his lap and encircling her with his arms. “I am in awe of you.” He whispered into her ear, and her head fell against his shoulder. Her shuddery breaths rocked in and out against his chest.

“Sometimes, my brain tricks me and I’m still in Ireland. Waking up, not knowing what the day will hold. What kind of horrors Fergus will have in store for me.”

“He’s not here, though. I will never let anyone put a finger on you. You are safe here and I will protect you with everything I am.” He meant every word. He’d gladly die before Brynn experienced more pain. Knew she would care for Jacob like her own. Neo would use every resource at his disposal to ensure Fergus was still in Ireland and that somebody seriously looked into his crimes. Torturing animals and his own sister spoke volumes about the type of person he might be now if you could call him human. No, Fergus was a monster hiding beneath a sheath of skin. He’d seen the type over and over again. If Fergus was still alive, he’d bet every penny he owned that the man was now a serial killer.

He’d never been gladder to be a SEAL. To have the skills and the network of contacts necessary to protect Brynn. He vowed to keep her safe. He was more than a little apprehensive now about leaving for a mission. He’d keep his fingers crossed to move them into the new house before they left. Security had been on his to-do list before, but now it was essential.

“What triggers the nightmares?” he asked. She had melted into him, and he wasn’t sure she was still awake until she cleared her throat.

“The morning in the hotel, I saw someone with his likeness and panicked. When I looked back, though, the person was gone. Sometimes stress makes my brain do funny things, and I think I see him from the corner of my eye. Crazy, huh?”

“Not at all.” Fuck. He did not like the sounds of that. Not one fucking bit. Brynn had been told her whole childhood she was a liar. Would she really believe herself if she actually saw Fergus in public?

“Thank you for trusting me with this. I’m so sorry for everything you went through, and I wish I could change it, but I am not sorry your grandmother brought you to the United States or that you’re in my life because of it.” He smoothed his hands down her hair. So beautiful and brave. “It’s been a long day, and you didn’t sleep well last night. Let’s get you into bed. Thank you again for sharing your secret with me. You never have to hide from me. Ever.”

He considered climbing into bed beside Brynn, wanting the reassurance that she was okay and safe, but instead, he kissed her on the forehead and returned to his bedroom. There were other ways to protect her, and he needed to ensure her physical safety before anything.

He sent a group text to his team to set up a meeting the next day. Brynn was his to protect, and he wanted to know exactly what he was up against. His teammates and commander needed to know if Fergus would be a threat. A foolproof way to track the bastard brother was the only thing that would calm the anguish in his soul. Maybe Fergus had forgotten all about Brynn, but he didn’t think so. He’d seen evil before, and evil rarely stopped once it had sunken its teeth into something so pure and innocent.

Chapter Twelve

Brynn reread the note Neo had left on the kitchen table. Wetness trickled down her cheeks, but she swiped it away. He’d filled her tea kettle with water so she could start it as soon as she woke up, replenished the bagels and cream cheese she preferred, and left her a copy of the key to the apartment. No man had ever treated her with such care and respect. He wrote that he had an emergency meeting with his team but would be home by noon. Recounting the events from her childhood hadn’t been easy, and today she felt vulnerable and raw. She couldn’t deny her disappointment when Neo hadn’t climbed into bed beside her, but there were still so many misgivings about their attraction. The risk of having a physical relationship with him was so huge, and yet, she couldn’t stop thinking about him.

She couldn’t express how badly she longed to fall into a dreamless sleep with his strong arms locked around her and his scent in the air. Of course, she was being silly, letting her infatuation with him get the best of her. After all, she had thought about moving into another space, and Neo had done his best to convince her otherwise. She wanted to stay. She was just afraid of her own feelings. She’d been on her own for a long time, and it wasn’t Neo’s duty to make her feel safe. Just having him in the same house eased some of her anxiety. Fergus was a long way away and couldn’t hurt her anymore. Besides, she had a lot to be thankful for. Aside from Jacob, this was the first time since Nana died that she’d had good people in her life. People who cared about her well-being.

Jacob was sitting with his eyes closed and his face tilted up to the sun streaming through the windows. He’d just finished some oatmeal, making it clear that was not his preferred breakfast, and was now listening to music. It was a glorious summer day, still cool enough to spend some time outdoors.

“What do you say about going for a walk? Exploring the area a little? We could walk by the public school, which would be the same whether we stayed in this apartment or moved into the new home we saw yesterday. I set up a meeting with your teacher and aide later this week.”

Jacob turned his head at the mention of school. It had been so hard to dismiss him from his middle school in Boston. One of the highlights of his day was getting picked up by the bus in the morning and seeing his friends. He was naturally social despite being nonverbal, and his dramatic expressions made it easy to decipher Jacob’s feelings and choices. They explored all different types of devices to help Jacob communicate, but the easiest way remained looking at his face and nonverbal cues. After applying his sunscreen and putting a baseball cap on his head, she wheeled Jacob to the apartment door. She took the elevator to the lobby level. She was still shaken up after recalling her childhood trauma but refused to stay inside and wallow.

They stepped outside onto the brick walkway, and the scent of sea salt and brine overpowered her senses. She’d gotten her first glimpse of how close Neo lived to the ocean yesterday. This beach was nothing like the craggy rocks and violent waves of her home in Ireland, but one with miles of smooth golden sand, striped umbrellas, and wooden piers. They walked past local restaurants and shops, stopping every so often to peer at an intricate window display. An outdoor vendor was selling bumper stickers, and she slowed down to read some of the sayings.

“Look, Jacob, this one says, Proud Brother of a United States Sailor.” The Navy’s crest appeared in the middle.

Jacob smiled and let out a pleased sigh.

“I’ll get it, and we can put it on your chair.” She paid the vendor for the sticker and found a quiet spot along the road. “Do you want this on the side of your chair or the back? You let me know.” She paused and then asked, “The side?” She gave him several seconds to respond, and when he didn’t, she said, “The back?” Jacob immediately turned his head.

“The back of the chair it is.” She peeled off the film on the back of the sticker and carefully smoothed out the vinyl.

Before they continued walking, she pulled up a map on her phone. “Looks like if we keep heading in this general direction, the school is only a few blocks away.” They passed a brick building painted with a mural of the ocean and a surfer riding the waves in bold blue and canary yellow. Jacob seemed fascinated, so they stopped and looked at it for a while before heading on.

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