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Make him shut up. Cut him down to size.
Bellamy stepped back, his eyes staying on mine. “Blue doesn’t suit you well, love.”
I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head in attempt to drown out the siren in me creeping back up. My desire to jump in the sea faded, and I silently praised myself for being able to shut her up so quickly.
“Sorry,” I said, “You know how it is.”
“Oh, I do,” he chuckled, steadying me by my shoulders and turning me away from the sea so that I faced the deck. “All too well.”
“I’m going to rest. But just for a couple of hours,” I said as I took a step toward the cabins. Is my mom okay? Is she still sleeping?”
Bellamy nodded. “She’s still in her room.” He looked away from me and toward the cabin entrance.
“Okay, good.” I knew I should check on her. I knew she would be confused as hell when she woke up again. Honestly, I was surprised she still hadn’t woken up by now. I didn’t mean to put her under for so long. But I couldn’t bring myself to go to her yet, because I was terrified I might not be able to cover up reality the next time I spoke to her. I’d do it soon. Just not yet.
“I’m not the only one who needs to get some rest.” I shot a knowing glance at Bellamy, noting his bloodshot eyes and slouched shoulders.
“I don’t think my body remembers how,” he said with a smirk, but I could see right through it.
“I know better,” I said. “I think something’s bothering you.”
He pressed his lips together. “No more than what’s bothering you. Don’t worry, I’ll sleep when I have to.”
My mind was too clouded to argue with him. I put a hand to my throbbing head. I needed to sleep. I had to recharge before I lost myself in more ways than one.
I made my way to the room I’d been sharing with McKenzie for those rare occasions when I did sleep. She was there already, snug on her side of the bed, out cold. I’d always been envious of her ability to drift off so deeply and easily. But tonight, I didn’t have to be. Sleep wasn’t far from me tonight. The second I closed my eyes, I found myself fade into sleep’s comforting embrace, where I hoped I could ward off my siren side just a bit longer.
When I awoke, it was morning. The twilight of dawn cast just enough lowlight to brighten the tiny bedroom. Sitting up, I fixated on a little nautical lifesaver ornament hanging over the doorway until my eyes adjusted. I felt refreshed, though my arms ached with sore muscles from holding them outstretched toward the water for so long the day before. I looked over at McKenzie, who stirred just a bit, but didn’t wake. I felt that familiar pang of guilt, knowing she should be back at the dorm oversleeping through her alarm right before class...if today was even a weekday. I’d lost track by now.
With a sigh, I accepted my fate. I needed to see Mom. I freshened up and changed into something clean before I trotted out the door to her room, energized by the much-needed night of sleep. As I neared her area of the cabin, I heard muffled thumps in between frustrated grunts and shouts. It almost sounded like my name, but I couldn’t tell. After a few more cautious steps brought me closer, I realized it was my name. Mom was calling for me from her room. And she sounded frantic.
My pace quickened, and I rushed to her door, where I could hear her beating against it from the other side. I shook the doorknob and pushed, but it was locked from the outside. Thankfully, it only took a quick turn of the lock on the handle to loosen. “Hang on, Mom!” I pushed the door open to find my mom standing right on the other side, her hair a wild mess and her eyes framed above dark sleepless circles. “How long have you been up?” I asked.
“A few hours,” she snapped. “I’ve been trapped in here! Katrina, what is going on? I can’t pretend like this is fine anymore. What is happening?”
“I...I didn’t lock—” Suddenly I remembered talking to Bellamy last night.
“She’s still in her room.”
He never said she was sleeping. He locked her in here.
Though it angered me to realize this was Bellamy’s doing, I didn’t have time to focus on that. All I could do was my best to contain the damage here with Mom. I had been worried about her siren side getting stronger, but I’d never accounted for mine doing the same while she was here. And I could feel mine bubbling to the surface even as I tried to talk her down right then.
“My phone is dead. I can’t contact anyone. Your dad is probably panicking like crazy. Why are we still on this boat? Why do I keep passing out and waking up without any memory of what’s going on? Tell me. Tell me what’s going on!” My mom spoke faster and faster with each word. I glanced at her hands. They were trembling a bit.
Put her to sleep again. Shut her up now before she becomes uncontrollable.
My siren begged, and for a moment I listened. I felt my eyes shift, and then took a step toward her, parting my lips to start my song.
But then I clamped my hand over my mouth. This was exactly what I said I wasn’t going to do. And if my siren side wanted me to do it, it must be wrong. I swallowed, fighting the urge in my head to silence my mother. I couldn’t keep putting her through this.
And I couldn’t resist my siren much longer, either. She was growing stronger. Using my powers so much seemed to draw her closer than I expected. So, I had to get rid of her for a while. I needed to be in the water. Soon.
“You want the truth?” I asked. “Come with me.” I took her hand, my siren and my true self fighting for control every second. I was stronger against her now, but certainly not invincible. I had to get to the water fast. We were going to kill two birds with one stone.
I led her out to the railing on the starboard side. We were maintaining a steady speed I could easily keep up with. The water below looked divine, like soft navy satin flowing beneath the morning light. I couldn’t wait to feel it encompass me, surround me, become me.
“Don’t follow me whatever you do,” I ordered, placing my bare feet onto the railing as I climbed over.
