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“That just tells me you’ve never truly tested out your abilities. You won’t tire that easily.” Serena looked back at me with a twinkle in her eyes.
With a surge forward, I caught up to her with ease, determined not to look weak as I swam by her side. “Well I haven’t exactly been a mermaid for all that long.”
Not that you knew, at least. She smiled, speaking to me through my mind. You’ve always been one. It’s who you are.
I felt a weight close in around my chest, and not just from the surprise of Serena’s voice in my head. The idea of being a siren my whole life sat with me like a sack of bricks. I wondered what my life might’ve been like if my mother and I hadn’t been cursed with this nature. And then the thought that had come up once before came rising to the surface once more—the thought that I would just continue to pass on this twisted legacy if I were to ever continue this bloodline. The thought that I could never have a normal life.
Serena… I stuttered out her name, finding it strangely natural to communicate my thoughts to her. This inner voice connection felt as easy as speaking. But knowing it was just another extension of my siren nature made me uncomfortable. Is there any way for me to gain a soul? Or my mom? Can she?
The mischievous look she wore faded at my question. I was startled when she answered me using her voice. “No siren has ever asked me that. Why would you want one of those over the long life you have?”
“Because,” I paused, watching our mythical-shaped shadows along the sand below as we passed over a shallow part of the ocean. “Because what good is a long life if none of the people you care about can share it with you? Or if half of you wants to kill them. Being half siren is harder than being a full siren. Because my two halves hate each other. I don’t like it. And I don’t want to end up as just seafoam. I want to be…more. In this life and the next.”
Serena shook her head just a touch, her eyebrows furrowing as she listened to my words. “You’re the last living mermaid, Katrina. You and your mother. How could you wish to give that up?”
I sighed. “This power, these abilities. None of this means anything to me. I never asked for any of it. If anything, it’s made my life harder. I’m always fighting two sides of myself.” My words came out more bitterly than I intended. But I couldn’t help it. This burden was something I silently bore each day, and it felt freeing to finally hear myself admit out loud that I didn’t want it. Though I could tell my siren side didn’t quite feel the same. Of course she didn’t. She wanted me to shut up.
“I didn’t ask for my fate either,” Serena said sternly, still swimming shoulder to shoulder with me. “But destiny doesn’t often let us choose.”
I opened myself to the freeing sensation of the water around me. Taking in the silky feel of the current, the bubbles from our movements, and the waves rolling above. There was something magical and haunting about knowing I was the last of my kind, swimming this vast ocean like a solitary needle in a very large haystack. And I couldn’t quite tell which side of me was in charge. Like saltwater mixed with freshwater, my personas could never truly be separated now that they’d merged.
I finally spoke again, still working to keep up alongside the goddess. “But you want your power, don’t you?”
Serena slowed her pace, and looked over at me with a tilt of her head. “I do. It is who I was meant to be. Without it…well, you saw what had become of me.”
I paused, wondering what would be next on this journey. I thought more about what Serena said about fate not letting us choose. It reminded me of something Milo had said when he stayed with me through the night for the first time.
Fate has decided against us…
But how wrong he turned out to be. We were able to overcome the boundaries of time to be together. So if we could do that, maybe that wasn’t the only destiny we could change.
“Then why do you fight against it so much when Bellamy wants to get the Crown for you? Why do you hide from your power if you think you were meant to have it?”
Serena refused to look at me, and for a moment, I thought she wouldn’t answer me either. But then she muttered something more subtle than a sea breeze. “Because his destiny is not mine. My loss of power is not his burden. That’s all I will say.”
“You have to get it back,” I said, thinking of how she was my only hope of saving my mom. “Even if fate or destiny or whatever you call it says things have to be one way, sometimes it can be changed.”
Serena’s eyes softened as she gave me a sideways glance. “You’re not wrong, little mermaid. But sometimes you do need a little help from the stars. They’re what guided you and Milo to each other. When the stars speak, destiny must listen. You must have a star speaking on your behalf.”
I had a hunch which star it might be. As I thought of whatever celestial powers might lie above, I watched in awe at the ones beneath me. We were in shallow waters, and the light reflected along the coral reefs peeking up from below, shimmering their curtain of ripples in between the rainbow of colors beneath. Plants, corals, and animals of every shape and movement, wriggling, darting, and drifting through the water with the ease of a bird in flight. Life down here was peaceful, and certainly something magical, but it wasn’t the life I wanted. Not at the price it demanded.
I wondered what came next. What would await us once we got back to Bastian? And what kind of bargaining tool would he use my mother for? It was as if the cold water around me could suddenly pierce my skin as the thought settled. We’d have to rescue my mother, at whatever cost. I’d do what I had to save her. Even if it meant returning to the darkest part of me like I had to do to defeat Cordelia. Whatever it took, I’d do it. I’d get my mom back.
41
Calamari
Bellamy
Iglared at the sea, forcing down the worry raging in my chest as I thought about Katrina and Serena out there alone. I knew it was for the best, but still it tortured me. To keep my mind distracted, I pushed away from the side of the ship, turning around to find Milo standing behind me adjusting some rigging.
“They’ll be all right. Keep your shirt on,” he said.
“Aye.” I let out a huff of breath. “I know they could kill us both if they wanted to. And honestly, not sure how I feel about that either, but it’s just hard to let them go when you just got them back.”
Milo wiped his brow with the back of his arm. “This is how we keep them safe. So let’s put our heads down and get this crown for your lass.”
I crossed my arms with a chuckle. “Well look who declared himself captain,” I pretended to salute. “Want me to swab the deck as well?”
