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“Fine.” I sucked in a deep breath. “If that’s what it takes, I’ll do it.”
“Katrina, you sure about this?” McKenzie asked, her face contorted in a grimace.
Once more I recalled all the times my siren had made me do something I regretted, and the answer came easily. Would I sever off a piece of me to rid myself of her influence? “Yes.” I eyed Serena, anger rising in me for what she was about to make me do. Whether it was truly a requirement of the ocean laws or simply her own, I couldn’t help but almost hate her in that moment. But that wouldn’t change anything. My only choice was to get over it and grab a sword.
“Let’s go somewhere a bit more…private,” Serena looked out toward the sea. She was right. It was only a matter of time before someone noticed us down here. The shore and old town was already filled with commotion from the fort collapse. She turned and looked at me. “There’s a small string of sandbars just east of here.”
“I’ll meet you there,” I said firmly. My eyes flicked to Milo for a second, who watched me with a tense gaze and uneasy stance as he shifted from one foot to the other. “Will you come with me?” I asked.
“I was hoping you’d say that.” He stepped forward immediately, but Serena stopped him. “She must do this alone.”
“Why?” I tossed out the words with disdain and shock. “Why can’t he come with me?”
“Because,” Serena lifted her chin, “When you are at your weakest moment, and when you think that you can’t go on for the pain, when your siren is begging you to stop, you must prove that your human strength truly is greater. I won’t allow you to become something less than what you already are. If I remove your sirenhood, it must be because you are more powerful without it. And that, my little mermaid, you must prove.”
I chewed my lip and flared my nostrils, unsure of what kind of response I could offer to such a twisted condition. But Serena was an ocean goddess, and like the sea itself, she was unpredictable, powerful, and clearly sometimes even ruthless. But if this was what I had to do to get rid of the side that made me much the same way, I wouldn’t be deterred.
“See you at the sandbar,” I announced loud enough for everyone to hear before diving under the surface and heading straight for the tiny islands just below the horizon. My siren’s voice haunted me the entire way there.
Kill the queen. Take the Crown.
When I arrived, Serena was somehow already there, waiting waist-deep on the shoreline. The moon glittered on the water’s surface like a beacon to mark the place where I’d give up half of myself. Behind her, on the island nestled crookedly in the surf was the stone altar, washed up from the collapse, I assumed. I swam up to her slowly. She offered not a word, but handed me a sword. Bellamy’s sword.
“Milo thought it might help you,” she uttered.
Now’s the chance. Kill her with the sword. Kill her!
I took one look at the blade and thought of the bloodshed and combat on the seas it had lived through. How many lives had it taken? I wondered. Had it ever taken the life of a siren before tonight?
I slid myself across the sand and up onto the stone slab. My eyes lingered over the artwork lacing the edges of the altar, each a depiction of the story of how a woman became a siren. But now it would end with the reverse. And I thought how fitting it was that the last image was nearly erased. Because we’d forged our own endings, despite what legend demanded.
Serena followed me to the stone and lowered the sword into my open hands. It all felt very ceremonial and sacred, and it sent shivers down my spine and tail. As a silent sense of doom crept upon me I looked up at the stars for comfort.
Kill the queen.
Seated with my tail hanging down into the water, I stretched it out in front of me, straightening it out the same way I would if it were my legs. I raised the blade, studying the impossible lower half I’d been gifted and cursed with. Scales of silvery blue caught the moonlight and rivaled the stars themselves. It reminded me of the starlight dress I’d worn to the gala the night Milo admitted his love for me. And that was everything I needed to shut up the voice in my head. I wanted to dance with the man I loved beneath the stars and build a life with him. I wanted that night forever. And I never wanted to try to kill him again.
With that vision sustaining me, I raised the sword above my head with both hands, trembling as I squeezed the hilt, now slippery with my sweat and seawater. I looked above at the sky to pinpoint the North Star. When I found it, I fixed my gaze on it and drew in a breath.
What are you doing? Stop! STOP!
I plunged the sword down. I watched that star as I gritted my teeth against the pain so hard I thought my jaw would break. The blade dug in, slowly, shooting agony through my waist. I kept looking at the star.
Stop this, now! You’re making a mistake! You’re betraying yourself!
The siren screamed within me, begging and pleading, and finally demanding that I stop. The human side of me begged, too, because the searing torment of slicing through my own flesh was almost too much to bear. So much that I stopped halfway through, as the steel of the blade met bone. A shooting pain beyond comprehension paralyzed my body and mind. My tail writhed, and my arms shook in agony and exhaustion. The saltwater on my open flesh stung like the flames of hell as it seeped into every crevice of my raw, open tissue.
“I can’t do it!” I screamed, the sword jutting out of me. I hung my head as my body quaked through my ragged breaths.
That’s right. Listen to me.
I opened my eyes, drawing on the strength of the stars once more. I had to shut her up. I had to gain my soul.
I tightened my grip and slammed down, digging the blade into my very core, severing the connection between my torso and tail.
No! You fool!
The scream that burst from me might’ve shaken the depths, but the bleeding wail from my siren pierced my mind like an icepick to the brain. In twisted, cruel torture, I pushed on the hilt with every ounce of power I had left in my quivering, feeble arms until I broke through to the other side. The siren’s wail died out as my head spun, and my vision of the stars grew dim. Every part of me tingled with icy numbness until I could no longer feel anything at all. I looked down at the vision of the waves washing up the stone over my waist, washing away the river of blood gushing out as fast as it flowed.
