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“Bellamy’s pissed at me right now for various reasons,” I muttered, looking down at the dust on the blankets. “I think we’re on our own. But I’m hoping tomorrow when we land in Nassau that maybe we’ll find Milo and maybe he’ll know what to do.”
“I hope you’re planning to tell Milo about all this quality time you’ve had with Bellamy.” Noah’s voice cut through the darkness as he leaned forward in the shadows. “Though God knows maybe he deserves it after all the shit he’s put us through.”
I opened my mouth to argue, but I couldn’t think of what to say. Noah wasn’t wrong. I’d betrayed Milo, even if I wasn’t in control when I did. I was just as selfish as Cordelia. Maybe it really was my destiny to become like her.
“Noah,” I finally managed to stumble out. “I would say ‘it’s not what you think,’ but I know that sounds like such BS.” I could see Noah’s fed-up expression, even in the dark. His dark brows stayed pressed together, and he was nearly scowling at me.
“It does.” He nodded. “But I mean, what’s happened to us isn’t normal. So, who’s to say what even makes sense here?”
I turned my face away, the weight of Noah’s condescending side eye. He went on, “Look, I’m the first to assume the worst about everyone. I was just starting to be Milo’s friend before all this went to hell. But I’m starting to think maybe, just maybe, Milo wasn’t the crazy one here.”
McKenzie and I both exchanged a look of surprise. “There’s something I should probably tell you both,” I fumbled with my words.
“Well, go on then,” Noah muttered.
I took a deep breath, worried this could make me sound even crazier. But it was the only way I could salvage the thin, quickly fraying thread between us. “Ever since we’ve been here, I’ve been hearing this...this voice in my head. It’s like my own, but it tells me things I would never think. Sometimes I follow it, and I don’t realize I am until it’s too late.
“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” Noah crossed his arms. “Because all it does is tell me you’re crazier than I thought.”
“That’s what I was afraid of. But I need you to listen.” I clenched my jaw and leaned forward, making my words perfectly clear. “Something here has been controlling me. And I’m still trying to figure out how to stop it.”
McKenzie looked at Noah, who still didn’t seem willing to budge. “Noah, look at what’s happened to us. We literally traveled through time. Maybe it’s not impossible to believe something could be messing with our minds.”
I was grateful that McKenzie was willing to give me the benefit of the doubt, but I knew my excuse wasn’t enough. They needed to know the rest. Keeping secrets almost always did more harm than good.
“There’s more to it than that. I think it’s time I own up to it. I...” A lump rose in my throat, and I almost couldn’t finish the sentence. I didn’t want to hear myself say it out loud. But I forced myself to get it out. “I told you I was Cordelia’s descendant back on the motorsailer, remember?”
They both nodded, and I blinked nervously before going on. “Well, that makes me a siren, too. And I'm starting to think maybe that side of me has a voice stronger than my own.”
They both hesitated for a moment, and I hung my head. To my surprise, it was Noah who spoke first.
“At this point I’m starting to think I’m dreaming, but I mean if we freaking traveled back in time, who’s to say you can’t be a mermaid?”
“Trust me, it’s not something I want. I wouldn’t lie about this.” I shrugged. “But I wanted you to know so that it means something when I say I’m sorry. I’m sorry for getting you into this mess, I’m sorry that I don’t know how to save us yet, and I’m sorry that I’m making a fool of myself on this ship. But you’re both all I have left. And I don’t want to lose you next.”
Noah’s eyes softened just a touch, and McKenzie leaned into him, her arm against his shoulder.
“Apology accepted,” McKenzie sighed. “We’re not going anywhere.” She looked at Noah, as if waiting for him to confirm what she said. He sighed and rolled his shoulders with a groan.
“It’s fine. I appreciate the apology. And I guess if there’s anyone we should wanna be stuck with in the middle of the ocean, it’s a mermaid.”
“Thanks.” My lips formed a little half-smile. “I promise I’m trying my best.”
“So are we,” Noah said. “And while we’re apologizing, I’m sorry for the way I acted about Sand—er—Milo. I guess he didn’t mean to screw us over like this. But even if he did, I didn’t want this to happen to him.”
“I promise you, he only did what he had to do. To keep the trident out of the wrong hands.” I straightened myself, ready to defend Milo. “And I refuse to believe he’s gone.”
“Me too, Katrina. He wouldn’t go down that easily. He’s gotta still be out there. And when we find him and get back, he owes my uncle a new boat.” Noah spoke under his breath, but I could sense the lighthearted change in his voice.
“Fair enough,” I uttered, my spirits lifting. “It’s not every day you find out your coworker is a ghost pirate.”
We all enjoyed a brief chuckle, but soon the space fell silent again. Together we leaned against the wall of the ship and closed our eyes as the sea’s rhythm rocked us to sleep. And I clung tightly to McKenzie’s reassuring words as I replayed them in my head: “We’re not going anywhere.”
“Land ho!” The muffled sound of a gruff voice yelling above made me open my eyes. I sat up in the small space in which we’d all slept and looked down at McKenzie asleep with her head on Noah’s shoulder.
I smiled. Things felt as though maybe, just maybe there was some small ray of hope starting to peek through. Clutching the wooden railing, I made my way up to the deck and wandered to the edge of the ship. I glanced around, surveying the horizon for any sign of land. But I didn’t see anything but the never-ending stretch of deep blue rolling for miles.
“Land ho?” I said out loud, squinting in the morning sun as I looked upward to the sailor up in the crow’s nest.
