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“Thanks.” She reaches for the coffee, her fingers lingering on mine for an electric moment before I pull away. “He’s going to be pissed,” she adds as she wraps both hands around the warm mug. “Or embarrassed or whatever feeling causes men to be mad that a woman decided to get naked with someone else. As you know, Adrian and I were never…intimate. And that was kind of a big deal for him.” She brings the coffee to her lips. “He actually made a joke about it tonight.”
My brows shoot up.
“I told him not to kiss me again or I was going to leave,” she says. “I reminded him that I was there as a friend, not his date. But he just laughed and made a joke about it being a sloppy friend kiss, not a real kiss. He said he was pretty sure I liked his real kisses, even if I didn’t like them enough to…you know.”
I want to punch him. My own son. It’s not a good look, but what the actual fuck? How on earth did he decide that was an acceptable thing to say to a friend who was doing him a favor?
“I’m sorry,” I say.
She frowns. “Why?”
“I raised a douchebag.”
She laughs. “He’s not a douchebag.”
I grunt, and she smiles.
“Fine, he can veer into douchebag territory every once and a while,” she admits. “But it never lasts long. And it doesn’t sound like you had a whole lot of influence over the way he was raised.” She takes another sip of my coffee before setting it on the table and pushing it toward me. “In any event, I don’t blame you for Adrian’s occasionally less-than-charming behavior.”
“Keep it,” I say, nodding at the mug. “That whiskey you mentioned is sounding like a better idea right now.”
“Then let’s go.”
“Go?”
She nods over her shoulder. “There’s a barber shop speakeasy not far from here. You enter through a secret door in one of the mirrors. Ever been?”
I shake my head, already knowing I can’t take this to a second location. If I’m going to have a shot of getting past this awkward situation with Adrian, Sydney has to stay in my past.
No matter how much it hurts.
It’s time I ripped the bandage off and stopped prolonging the torture. “I can’t see you again, Sydney. In any capacity. Tonight, or any other night.”
She flinches, as if the words physically wound her, making me feel worse than I do already.
“I’m so sorry,” I add, my voice rough. “You have no idea how much I wish things were different. When we first sat down, I thought…” I sigh. “I don’t know what I thought. I was so happy to see you again, I wasn’t thinking straight. But the more we circle this, the more I see that continuing to see you in any capacity would destroy my chances of mending my relationship with my son.”
She swallows, averting her gaze as she nods. “I understand.”
“Telling him we were together once, before either of us realized the two of you used to date, will be bad enough. If I have to tell him I kept seeing you after, or that I was still seeing you…”
“He’d hate you even more,” she says, confirming my suspicion that Adrian’s been more open about his feelings about his shitty father than she initially let on. “You’re probably right, but I…” Her tongue slips out to wet her lips. “I…”
“Tell me,” I encourage after a moment. “Please. You can say anything to me. You won’t hurt my feelings. And if you do, I deserve it for letting you down.”
Her eyes fly to mine, cold fire flickering in the crystal blue. “You haven’t let me down. And you didn’t let Adrian down. You did the best you could, under some pretty shitty circumstances, and someday, he’s going to realize that.” She rolls her eyes. “Or not. But that isn’t your work to do; it’s his. He’s an adult and it’s time people started treating him like one. It’s time his mother stopped paying his bills, Ben quit networking for him for free, and Noelle stopped cleaning up his toxic kitchen when she spends the night at their place.”
My brows pinch together. “Angela pays his bills?”
“That’s what he said.” She shrugs. “That his mom paid his college tuition and some of the party expenses for the fundraiser tonight. Even though she wanted him to use the money for grad school and is angry that he dropped out at the last minute.” Before I can respond, she adds, “Though he didn’t drop out at the last minute. He dropped out in the spring but kept it from his mom long enough to get the deposit for the fall semester, which he used for the down payment on the apartment with Ben and a bunch of designer clothes. He’s definitely using his mother, too, if that makes you feel any better. She’s dumped hundreds of thousands of dollars into his education and he still lies to her and only takes her calls about half the time.”
Willing my jaw to unclench, I manage to force out, “Angela didn’t pay for those things.”
“Then who…” She trails off as her eyes go wide. “Oh.”
“Yeah.”
“I’m sorry,” she says in a softer voice. “I can’t pretend to know what it feels like to be in your position, but… I know my father wouldn’t continue to subsidize my life if I weren’t respectful and honest with him. Relationships have to change and evolve over time. Even relationships between parents and their kids.”
