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I sigh. “Yeah, I was having similar thoughts as I was leaving the party. But I can’t cut him off like this. ‘Hey, son, I slept with your ex, and I’ll no longer be sending you a dime.’ He’d never talk to me again.”
“You’re probably right, but…” She smears a bit of the condensation under her water glass across the sealed wood table before lifting her gaze to mine. “You don’t have to tell him. About us.”
My brows shoot up my forehead.
“It’s our private business,” she continues. “It has nothing to do with him. Adrian and I weren’t that close, and it doesn’t sound like the two of you are, either. I don’t owe him any explanations, and it’s not like we did this on purpose.” She lifts one bare shoulder. “We could pretend it never happened. You can trust me not to say anything. I don’t want to hurt you or Adrian.”
Her sweet offer hurts nearly as much as the thought of never seeing her again. It’s just another sign that she’s the kind of woman I’ve been looking for, someone as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside. “I can’t ask you to compromise your integrity for me. Or Adrian.”
“I wouldn’t be,” she says without hesitation. “I wouldn’t be lying. I’d be maintaining a personal boundary between me and a man I used to date, a man who isn’t entitled to information about who I’m intimate with now or at any point in the future.” She reaches for her small evening bag on the cushion beside her. “I’m honestly not even sure how much longer Adrian and I will be friends. Our lives are moving in very different directions. But even if we end up best man and maid of honor at Noelle and Ben’s wedding, I’ll never say a word about what happened between us. You can trust me.”
“I do trust you,” I say. “You’re a good person, Sydney. I knew that the second I met you.”
“I feel the same way. Maybe in another life…” She smiles sadly. “It was good to meet you, Gideon. Thanks for the memories. And the pancakes.” She starts to slide out of the booth, but I reach out to touch the back of her hand.
“Let me call you a car. It’s late.”
She shakes her head but doesn’t pull away. “Thanks, but I’m fine. I grew up here, remember? I’m a city girl from way back. I’ll catch a cab heading uptown and be safe and sound way before midnight.” She turns her hand over, giving my fingers a quick squeeze. “But thank you for being so thoughtful. Take care, Gideon. I wish you all good things.”
Before I can respond, she’s up and out of the booth, blowing me a quick kiss before she starts through the crowded restaurant toward the door. As she walks away, heads swivel to watch her go, this gorgeous woman in black, but she doesn’t notice. She has no idea how stunning she is, how special and…unforgettable.
She’s going to haunt me, but this is for the best.
As I motion for the check and wait for our server to run my card, I repeat the list of reasons why Sydney and I were doomed from the start in my head over and over again.
She’s too young, our lives are incompatible, she’s my son’s ex-girlfriend.
She’s too young, our lives are incompatible, she’s my son’s ex-girlfriend…
When I step outside, I change the last part of the mantra to—she’s had my tongue and Adrian’s tongue in her mouth—just to make the truth even more brutal.
I need brutality right now. If I’m not ruthless with myself, there’s a chance I might end up chasing after her.
The thought is enough to make me turn right toward Avenue C instead of starting back toward Union Square. I’m not going to chase her, but I am going to make sure she’s made it safely into a cab. She has a few minutes’ head start, but there aren’t as many cabs in this part of the city as there used to be, even on a Friday night. She’ll likely still be trying to flag one down—or waiting for a car if she decided to call one instead—and I don’t feel right about heading for the apartment until I know she’s okay.
I don’t intend to make contact again. I’ll just keep a discreet eye on her from a distance until she’s on her way.
That’s the plan, and I have every intention of sticking to it.
Then I reach the end of the block and hear soft sobs coming from around the corner. Immediately, I know it’s Sydney.
I hurry around the brick building, take one look at her slumped against the side of it, her eyes red and puffy, and the plan is out the window.
I step in, pulling her into my arms, crushing her small body to my chest.
sixteen
SYDNEY
My relief is visceral. It floods through me, loosening the tension in my shoulders and freeing a sob trapped in my throat. I wrap my arms around Gideon and hold on tight, pressing my face to his chest, feeling safe for the first time since I left Maine.
I was born and raised in this city.
If anyone should feel safe here, it’s me.
But I don’t. And not just because hate crimes are on the rise and the subways are grosser—and less dependable—than they’ve been in my lifetime. It’s the job, my friends, my torn-between-two-worlds existence, and the certainty that I’ve made a wrong turn somewhere.
Most likely on the morning I dropped Gideon off at the airport without insisting on meeting him in Vermont as soon as humanly possible.
