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I walked upstairs to Mira’s room and quietly knocked on the door but as I did, it pushed open, and I saw Mira sitting on her bed with her head in her hands.
“Mira?” I kept my voice soft, just loud enough for her to hear. “Are you okay?”
She startled, quickly swiping away the tears from her face as she turned toward me. “Luca, ciao. Are you early?”
“Just a little. Mia says you don't want to go?”
“I just...I’m not ready for this.”
“Sure, you are. You are more than ready. We’ve talked about all your plans and all your hopes for your new business. You said you were going to stand up for the people who need it the most, the ones who might not be able to afford good legal representation. You said that you were going to use the fact that you don’t need the money to drive you to help others. Do you really want to let all those people down?”
“No, but...how can I go on with my life like nothing happened? I lost my child.”
I moved to sit beside her on the edge of her bed, taking her hand in mine. “And you’ve mourned for that child.”
“I know but...” Mira let her words die in her mouth.
“But what?”
“If I move on with things this quickly then it feels like I’m abandoning her, like her life and death meant nothing to me.”
“But you know that’s not true, I know that’s not true. You’ve mourned, but you can’t mourn forever. You have to let yourself live your life.
“A part of me never fully felt attached or connected with her. I knew I was pregnant and that I was going to have a baby. You have to know that I loved her from the first moment that second little line turned pink, but I constantly felt like I was keeping a wall up, not wanting to get too attached.”
“Why do you think that you would want to keep yourself from getting too attached to your baby?” I had my own suspicions, but I wanted Mira to come to her own conclusion without my influence.
“I don’t know. I guess maybe it has something to do with how Stefano acted about her, like our baby was a possession, something to hold over my head to control me, something to give him more prestige and power by having an heir. He never talked about her like she was a baby, our child. I think a part of me feared that someday, after I had her, that he was going to take her away from me.
“He actually made the threat. He said if I left him that he would take her and make sure that I never saw her again. That was before we knew that she was a girl. He was convinced that it was a boy, but somewhere deep inside I knew that he was wrong.”
“Well, I think your daughter would be extremely proud to have a mom so dedicated to helping others. And maybe she’s not gone forever.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, maybe this just wasn’t the right time for that little girl of yours to come into this world, with a father like Stefano and her mother being crushed under his thumb. That can’t be the best situation for a child to grow up in. Maybe this is just a delay, and maybe one day when you meet the right man who will not only be a good father for your daughter, but also a great husband for her mother, maybe then God will send her back to you.”
“Luca, that’s beautiful.”
I squirmed uncomfortably, not used to being so open with emotions, but I was glad to see the small smile forming on Mira’s face. “Yeah, well, don’t tell anyone, okay? I’ve got a reputation to protect.”
I playfully bumped her with my shoulder and Mira giggled. “It will be our little secret.”
Chapter 29
Mira
Four months had gone by since I’d lost my daughter and while the pain and emptiness were still there, I found that pouring myself into starting my law firm was a good way to keep my mind busy. And with Luca’s help, and the help of my family, I found myself growing stronger every day.
I sat in my newly decorated office behind my large glass desk, working to set up our filing system and other small details that Luca and Teo had insisted were beneath me. While I could have just hired someone to do those small tasks, it felt good to put my own touch in each aspect of the business.
I was so engrossed in my work that I didn’t notice someone coming into my office until the large figure was halfway to my desk and I jumped.
“Stefano, what are you doing here?”
He acted as if he hadn’t heard my question. He meandered through my office, taking inventory of his surroundings as one might wander through a museum. “It’s a nice place you have here.”
“Thank you,” I said hesitantly, not expecting him to show any sign of civility.
