AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Do you?” She raised her chin in challenge. “Well, then know this: You are a child no longer. You must now put away childish yearnings and accept your lot in life. A lot which, I must tell you, is highly envied by many others. It is time to accept what is expected of you, and do what you must. Stop being so taken with something that can never be yours.”
“You don’t understand!” I burst out, playing the part of the child and hating myself even as I spoke. “You don’t know what it’s like!”
“Don’t I?” The words were spoken so softly that I nearly didn’t catch them. “Have you ever asked yourself, child, have you ever stopped to think about how I’ve come to have such knowledge? Every question you bring me, I give you an answer. Now, ask yourself: How could I, a merwoman like yourself, come by such information?”
It had never crossed my mind to ask. I looked at her more closely, at her dearly beloved face with sharp cheekbones. She was rather plain, except for that. She had a proud chin, and large, snapping black eyes. But what lay beneath them? I had never stopped to wonder, and that knowledge caused shame to fill me.
“You….”
“I,” she affirmed, with a gleam in her eye.
“You went to the surface.” As the words left my mouth, I didn’t know why it had never occurred to me before. Of course she had–I knew all Merpeople went at fifteen, I suppose I’d just never stopped long enough to picture my nurse at such a tender age.
I studied her with new eyes, trying to see the life she’d led that had made her into the merwoman I adored. But even as I did, my thoughts turned back to my own predicament. After all, while we might both be Merpeople of the female persuasion, there were many differences, too.
“But…” I began to wring my hands, my mind whirling. “I’m a princess.”
“Indeed.”
I didn’t hear her. I was working on a plan. “I am a princess, which means…” Suddenly, I clapped my hands. “Nurse, don’t you see? I will go to my father; I will tell him what I want. He wants me to be happy. He?—”
She shook her head sadly, stopping me short. “He will not, child. He will never grant such a folly.”
“But… I’m a princess. Perhaps you never could have… but I have… resources.”
She chuckled softly, and many years later I would realize she laughed at my naiveté. “But don’t you see? That is the very reason it is more difficult for you. There are many responsibilities you must tend to. Everyone knows you are your father’s favorite, and one day he will name you Sea Queen.”
I gasped and stared at her with huge, horrified eyes. “But… but… I don’t want it!”
She clucked her tongue. “It is not yours to choose.”
“But—”
“This is what your teachers are trying to get you to understand, child. The people will one day be your burden to bear.”
“But… but Father hardly ever goes to the surface!” I sputtered.
Nurse considered me thoughtfully then nodded. “I am sorry for it.”
For a moment, I thought she might hold me as she used to do, but she did not. If her goal had been to encourage me to pay more attention, to make peace with my situation, she was surely disappointed as her words had the opposite effect.
Instead, I sank into a depressed state unlike anything I’d ever known. I stopped eating, unless Nurse nearly force-fed me. I slept at every opportunity, for dreams were my only comfort. In them, I felt the wind in my face and knew its name. I heard the birds singing their beautiful song as they sailed through the air, and I joined my voice with theirs. I felt the earth beneath my fingers, and let the warm water of the ocean lap against my outstretched hands.
Every morning when I awoke, it was with a pain in the pit of my stomach so deep, I knew it would never leave me. It was a horrible thing, to live every waking moment knowing the most wonderful thing in your life was over and you could never have it again. The only relief was the sweet snare of sleep.
“You must stop this!” Nurse hissed, after several weeks of the same. “If you do not eat, if you do not try… then I must… I must tell your father.”
But I was beyond caring. I hardly spoke anymore, even to my beloved nurse. I only looked back at her with eyes that did not see, nor comprehend.
Of course, that was because I had no idea that as bad as I thought things were, they could get worse. For my nurse did tell my father, and when she did, the entire sea felt his rage. It was a storm unlike any we’d ever seen before in my lifetime, waves crashing against banks so hard they battered and pulled down the earth.
My father swept into my room like a hurricane, eyes flashing. “Ari!” His bellow shook me from my dream, and I knew from my first glance at his thunderous face what had happened. “What were you thinking?”
I could only shrug.
“Speak to me!” he demanded, the anger in his voice causing my surroundings to shake.
“Father, I had to. I had to see. I had to know?—”
