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NO. It was a loud cry coming from within me, and I felt stronger in this knowledge.
The time had come, regardless of what the Sea King, my father, had commanded. It was time for me to throw off this depression, this pity-party that had gone on much too long, and swim to the surface. It was time to take my life into my own fins.
CHAPTER 3
Ari
Once I’d made up my mind, I was quick to act. That was just the way I had always been. I slipped away, knowing I so seldom left my quarters that it would not occur to anyone to wonder where I was.
It had been a long time since I’d done any serious swimming, and the first thing I felt was exhilaration. As my fin cut through the water, my arms at my sides propelling me forward, I felt something awaken inside me. Something small, but powerful, building strength as I felt the water moving, parting before my determination.
But it wasn’t long before exhaustion set in. There was a saying among my people: like teaching a new hatchling to swim. There was nothing more simple, more natural and effortless than teaching a newly hatched fish or merman to swim. It was quite literally what they were born to do.
Born to do it or not, my long stretch of months atop of months of self-inflicted seclusion had weakened me. My body had once cut through the water with a grace sharper than any fisherman’s blade, creating a dance so beautiful that there were times the fish stopped to watch. Now, I was flipping my fin for all I was worth, teeth gritted in determination despite the fact that my fin ached, begging me to turn back.
I won’t. I can’t.
What did I have to go back for? What was left for me as a daughter of the Sea King that was forbidden to leave? I’d been all but forgotten by my own family—my fault, I knew, for shutting myself away—and now that my nurse was gone… also my fault… really, what was left for me?
I swam, my face lifted upward, for all that I was worth. As my scales ached and strained, I felt sure I would die.
It would only be fitting, I thought mournfully gazing up at the ball of light sitting atop the surface. I have caused so much pain and trial in my short life. It would only be justice that I die in this way—in pain, fighting with my last bit of strength just to never quite reach the surface. I will run out of energy and I will close my eyes, I will fall to the bottom of the sea and if the God of the Sea takes mercy, perhaps I will never wake again.
But I did reach the surface. It felt like an impossible feat, and yet, I did it. And when I felt that first cool breeze on my skin, all my thoughts—dark and otherwise— and all memories of pain faded away into the recesses of my mind.
The ball of light hanging in the sky felt especially warm, and it helped lift my mood instantly. The more I basked in its glow, the more I remembered from my first and only trip to the surface. I studied the sky and noted that there were not white wisps hanging there today, only an endless expanse of blue. Then I gazed around me and noticed that it caused the ocean to glitter like jewels.
I felt muscles move in my face as I had not for as long as I could remember. I was so startled that while I gazed out across the sea at the wide expanse of waving emerald grass, I brought my hands up to my face, feeling across my cheeks. I was shocked to realize I was smiling.
I hardly had time to think on it, however, before a shadow was cast across the cerulean water, capturing my attention. Something was flying across the water, but it was not a winged animal. It was not, to my knowledge, an animal at all, but I didn’t know what it was for I’d never seen one before.
It had a large, billowing white wing, but only the one. And it moved quickly through the water—nearly as quickly as a fish might. I wanted to see more, so I swam alongside, trying to understand it more. I suddenly found my energy renewed as I dipped in and out of the sea, trying to catch another glimpse of the marvelous mystery.
I would never have been able to say how long I swam alongside it. The only thing I knew is that when I had to stop, the great golden ball had nearly disappeared, and the sky was as dark as the very bottom of the seafloor. I would not have let that stop me, but my exhaustion had returned, throbbing in every single scale.
But right before I turned to dive back into the sea, I saw it. I saw him. He had come aboard the one-winged vessel and was staring off into the distance, and I could have sworn he looked right at me. I dipped down into the water, spraying water up in my wake.
It was out of habit. Out of fear bred into me from before I could understand words and their meaning. But even then, I’d been taught to be wary of Earth Dwellers, that they would trap me, as they had my mother, that they would end my life.
I glimpsed the man standing aboard the ship for but a moment, but my eyes were sharp and clear. I would later recall the way his dark black hair swept across his perfect, high forehead. I would be able to remember the gleam of his dark eyes. The soft curve of his full lips. And something about the way he walked…
By the time I reached home, those would be the thoughts that plagued me. But for the moment my only thought was that only hours ago—had it truly only been hours?—I’d thought I would die, only to find a reason to live.
The following morning, I awoke with a song on my lips for the first time since that fateful day I’d left childhood behind. I might have never have noticed at all, except that I joined my sisters for breakfast and Tianna came up and cuddled me.
“Why, sister! It is so very good to see you!” She cozied against me, cheek to cheek. “What is that song you are singing?”
“Oh.” I stopped at once and blushed. “I… I don’t know. Just something that popped into my head.”
“Ah.” She smiled knowingly. “You were always doing that when you were a child.”
“I was?”
Before she had a chance to answer, Calista swam up and took my hands. “Dear, dear sister. You have such a lovely voice. I’d quite forgotten.”
A chorus of agreement broke out, with all my sisters sharing fond memories of my voice and complimenting me until I felt fit to burst. It was a wonderful time, but perhaps it was because I had decided I would swim to the surface again that very day.
My success had made me bold, perhaps, but it was also that I no longer feared being caught. If I were, what was worse than what my father had already done to me? The life he’d already condemned me to? It was a risk I was willing to take.
