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I could feel the monster chasing me—he was so huge and heavy his footsteps pounded the ground, shaking it under my feet. I gasped and fell, but I was running uphill, so instead of falling all the way down, I ended up on my hands and knees instead of flat on my face.
I continued up the sloping backyard that way, climb-crawling as fast as I could. My breath was tearing in my throat and my heart was pounding so hard it felt like it was trying to beat its way out of my ribcage and run away on its own.
I hadn’t been to the gym in ages—I only like to go at night anyway, when it’s less crowded—but I didn’t let that stop me. It’s amazing how much cardio you can get in when a huge green monster with tusks and glowing golden eyes is chasing you!
“Get back here!” he was snarling. “Thief! Trespasser!”
I finally reached the top of the hill and ran for the kitchen door. To my relief, I saw that the door was already standing open, though I was sure I had closed it securely behind me. It almost looked like it was beckoning me inside.
“Hurry—hurry!” whispered the little voice in my ear and I was inclined to listen to it.
I swore I could feel the monster’s breath on the back of my neck but just in time, Sebastian and I rushed through the open door.
The minute we were safely inside, the kitchen door slapped shut and I heard the sound of a lock turning. The monster pounded a huge green hand against the doorframe, making it tremble, but the house held firm and when he tried the knob, the door wouldn’t budge.
“Get out of there!” he insisted in that deep, angry roar I could hear even through the glass. “You’re fucking trespassing!”
I backed away from the door, shaking my head, my heart pounding.
Then, to my relief, the monster turned and rushed down the hill again. He was incredibly fast for such a big guy. (Was he a guy? He seemed to be. Anyway, he disappeared through the trees almost before I could blink.)
“Oh my God!” I was shaking as I sank down at the kitchen table. Sebastian jumped up on my knee and I began to stroke his fur, trying to calm my nerves. “That was close,” I said to him and he mewed in earnest agreement.
I had a crazy array of emotions running through me. Fear, of course—I’d been freaking terrified! But also a strange kind of exhilaration—my adrenaline was pumping and I couldn’t believe I had outrun a real, actual monster.
But at the same time, what the hell was going on around here? None of my recently recovered childhood memories included anything like the big green guy with tusks and golden eyes who had just chased me up the hill. Who was he and why did he keep insisting I was trespassing? What?—
“Riiiiinnnng! Riiiinnnng!”
The strident sound broke my train of thought and I looked around to find the source of it.
Behind me, on the wall beside the table, was an old-fashioned phone I hadn’t seen earlier. And I do mean old-fashioned. It had a long, curly cord that hung down like a tail almost to the ground and a rotary dial. It was ringing itself off the hook—a saying which took on new meaning to me as I saw that the black receiver really was hanging on a kind of hook attached to the wall.
Normally I’ll do anything not to answer the phone. It’s not much easier talking to strangers on the phone than in person—my words always seem to get stuck. Texting is what works best for me—it’s much more impersonal and I don’t have to see the other person’s face or hear their voice.
But now I found myself reaching for the phone, despite the anxiety that phone conversations always caused me. I lifted the heavy black receiver and put it to my ear.
I didn’t say “Hello” but I didn’t need to—the person on the other end started talking immediately.
“Okay, lady,” growled a harsh, masculine voice. “I don’t know who the fuck you are, but I am the caretaker of the house you’ve invaded. I’m going to give you one chance—get out now or I’m coming in.”
His words were scary but to my surprise, I found that I had words of my own rising to my lips.
“I’m not going anywhere!” I told him firmly, in a voice that only shook a little. “I inherited this house from my Grandmother—I own it now!”
I didn’t have time to be shocked at the fact that my words had flowed instead of getting stuck in my throat, because the guy on the other end—he must be the huge green monster who had chased me, was talking again.
“So you’re claiming to be Ms. Elvira’s granddaughter?” he demanded. “I’m going to need to see some proof of that.”
“I’ve got her last will and testament written in her own handwriting,” I shot back indignantly. “Is that proof enough for you?”
I was pissed off but also secretly delighted that I was holding my own in this conversation—not letting the big asshole bully me or back me down.
“You’d better be telling the truth because I’m coming back up to see it,” he warned.
“You’re not coming in here!” I snapped back. “I…I’ll call 911 if I see your big green ass outside my house!”
He took a deep breath and then blew it out—sounding like a Category Three hurricane on the other end of the phone.
