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Light was really alarmed. He had heard of Dark Kindred who couldn’t handle having emotions once they had their dampers removed—some even self-destructed. He couldn’t sit by and watch that happen to his twin.
“Turn your emotion damper up,” he told Dark. “Turn off your emotions until we can get you some help and find out how to deal with them.”
“I think the fucking thing is broken,” Dark said dully. “See?” He reached to the back of his neck and twisted the small knob there. But no matter how he twisted, his face didn’t change—it still had the same, unhappy look that was making Light so worried.
“We’ll go to Yipper and see if we can get it repaired,” he said.
“No.” Dark shook his head. “I deserve to feel this way.” He looked up at Light. “Maybe you should go on without me.”
“Go on? Go where?” Light demanded.
“I mean, try to have a relationship with Lili without me,” Dark clarified. “What am I fucking good for except holding you back? You don’t have Berserker DNA—you might even be able to Bond her by yourself if I was out of the picture. There’s a Lone Twin Kindred here aboard the Mother Ship who managed to Bond with a female. They even have children now.”
“No!” Light said firmly. “No, I’m not doing anything without you, Dark. We’re a team. It doesn’t matter if we’re an Imperfect Pair—you’re my brother and I’m not leaving you.”
Dark sighed and raked a hand through his hair.
“In that case, maybe it’s better just to get away from the Mother Ship altogether.”
“Oh?” Light raised his eyebrows. “And where do you want to go?”
“Away.” Dark looked out the viewscreen. “Someplace I don’t have to feel. I’m fucking tired of emotions—I don’t want them anymore.”
Light could sympathize. If they couldn’t be with Lilibet—couldn’t Bond her to them or even have any other kind of relationship with her, then he didn’t want to feel either.
“All right,” he said. “We’ll leave. But where are we going?”
Dark looked at him.
“Home,” he said. “We’ll go back home.”
Light felt his heart sink, but he knew it was their only option. If they wanted to forget about Lilibet and the indelible mark she had made on both their hearts, home was the best place for them.
It would be hard to give up emotions…but he supposed once they were gone, he and Dark wouldn’t miss them. They wouldn’t feel anything anymore—they would simply exist. And everything that had happened in the past few days would be nothing but a distant memory that couldn’t hurt them anymore.
Home. It was their only option.
“All right,” he said in a low voice. “We’ll go.”
25
LILI
“Are you all right, hon? You sound so down.” Rachel’s mental voice sounded concerned over the Think-me she was using to call Lili all the way from the Mother Ship. The thin silver wire that fit over the temples facilitated thought-transmission over long distances. It was kind of like a mental cell-phone and it was extremely easy to use.
“I’m fine,” Lili said, looking down at her sketch pad. It showed a picture of Light and Dark that she’d drawn from memory—God, she missed the two of them! But she wasn’t about to admit that to her friend. “It’s just been a slow semester—that’s all,” she added.
“Slow? But didn’t you get published in The Journal of Artistic Endeavor?” Rachel exclaimed. “That was a great article! I sent it on to F’rith Three just like you asked me to,” she added.
“Yeah, I guess.”
Lili sighed and flipped to another page in her sketch book. She studied the detailed drawing she’d done of Dark’s enhanced arm and his eye scope. The next page held sketches of Light’s enhanced legs.
But it wasn’t the mechanical parts of the two Kindred she was missing, Lili admitted to herself—it was the emotional parts. The way both of them were so sweet and protective. The way they held her between them and comforted her when she was upset. The way?—
“…a package from F’rith Three for you.”
“Huh? What?” Lili snapped out of her sad daydreams. “What did you say?” she asked her friend.
