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“Keep your money,” I counter. “You’ll need it for your tab.”
Laughter erupts from the other side of the bar, raucous and unrestrained, as if mocking the tightrope I walk every night. But I stay focused to keep from rising to the bait. They won’t see me falter, not tonight. Not ever.
“Damn girl, you’re cold,” Ricky says, feigning hurt.
He knows it’s a game we play, this dance of defiance. He pushes, I parry, and the world spins on.
“Only when I have to be,” I shoot back, keeping my voice even, my posture relaxed yet ready for anything he throws at me. It’s a delicate balance, maintaining my composure while the vultures circle, but it’s one I’ve mastered out of necessity.
“Nice one, Jane,” a regular mutters, tipping his hat to me with genuine admiration. “You’ve got the patience of a saint.”
“Or the devil,” I mutter under my breath, wiping down the bar and setting things straight.
Saints don’t last long in places like this, sinners, however, thrive.
I fill another round of orders. And as the hours wear on, I can feel the weight of responsibility settling on my shoulders, the unspoken duty to maintain order in this tiny microcosm of chaos.
The air hangs thick with the scent of tobacco and grease, a cloud that clings to my skin. I’ve grown accustomed to the weight of it, like armor.
“Hey, Jane, why don’t you come over here and give us a private show?” Ricky’s voice slithers through the din, coated in cheap liquor and cheaper intentions.
My hands steady on the glass I’m polishing, fingers gripping just tight enough to remind myself they’re my own. “Sorry, boys,” I say, tone light but edges sharp as broken glass. “Not in this lifetime.”
“Your loss, sweetheart,” Snake adds, his smirk audible even if I don’t deign to look his way.
“Is it?” I counter, placing the gleaming glass onto the shelf above me and allowing myself a small inward smile.
They think they can rattle me, but I’m not easily bothered by the likes of them.
“Jane, ignore them,” Mandy advises, her touch gentle on my forearm, her eyes brimming with camaraderie. “They’re just trying to get a rise out of you.”
“Thanks, Mands,” I reply, grateful for her presence. “But I’m good.”
And I mean it. Their words, their leers, they’re nothing but noise, a test of my mettle, one I refuse to fail.
“Sure thing, hon.” Mandy places a comforting hand on my shoulder, offering a sympathetic smile that doubles as an unspoken pact between us.
I watch her weave through the tables, queen of her surroundings. Mandy is good at her job. And in this place, where shadows loom long and dark, we’re all the kin we’ve got.
“Let ‘em talk,” I murmur to myself, focusing on the row of bottles before me, each one a silent ally in my nightly battle. “Words are just words.”
Another round of drinks ordered, another display of bravado from the men who think they own the world, or at least this tiny corner of it. I mix and pour, finding solace in the rhythm, in the certainty of actions and reactions.
“Here’s to you, Jane,” Ricky calls out, raising his glass in a mock salute.
“To me,” I answer, tipping an imaginary hat with a flourish of my hand.
But inside, there’s a fire blazing, a defiance that keeps me standing tall when lesser spirits might crumble. I am fierce, unyielding, my resolve forged in the crucible of their disdain.
As the night wanes and the crowd thins, Mandy catches my eye from across the room, her expression telling me it’s almost time to close up shop. Almost time to shed the role of bartender and become just Jane again. Jane who dreams of more than the confines of this life.
“Last call,” I announce, my voice steady as the first streaks of dawn threaten the horizon outside. “Drink up, ladies and gentlemen.”
And as the final patrons stagger out into the coming day, I take stock of the battlefield—stained glasses, sticky floors, the lingering echoes of raucous laughter and I know that despite everything, I’ll be back behind this bar when evening falls. It’s not just a job, it’s who I am.
“Good job tonight,” Mandy says softly, helping me to lock the doors.
“Survived another one,” I respond, the hint of a genuine smile playing on my lips.
