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"I want to go with you," I told him. "I want all of that. I need to get away from here..."
"We can have a house to ourselves," he murmured, his nose nuzzled into my neck. "All to ourselves. A garden, where the kids can go out and play..."
"Pets," I suggested. "I want pets, too. I haven’t been allowed any here."
"All the pets you could possibly want," he agreed, and he kissed me and pulled back and looked into my eyes.
"What is it?" I asked, feeling a little flush run up my cheeks. Sometimes, when he looked at me like that, it felt like everything in the world had slowed down around us; like everything was just taking a quick break, with every intention of coming back later, but for now, it was just the two of us, alone in the universe.
"I just can’t believe I actually got you," he murmured. And with that, he kissed me again – and this time, I knew that it wasn’t going to just end there.
His hands were strong and sure as he cradled me close, and his tongue parted my lips easily as he sank into the kiss. It was the start of something new, I could feel that. Not just that I had left so much behind, but that there was so much still ahead of me to experience, so much for me to know. Jonah would help me get that next job, and in the meantime Joseph would be there to guide me through every step of the way. And as long as he was here, well, I couldn’t think of much better in the world than that.
He slowly lowered me back onto the couch, and let his full weight down on top of me. I could distantly remember, though it felt like a lifetime ago now, that I had convinced myself that I would be able to get over him with a single fuck – looking back now, that just seemed utterly crazy. I could never let this man go. He was mine, he belonged to me, and I belonged to him, and everything that we had been through together had only drawn us closer together and stronger than any couple I had ever known before. Yes, we might not have been the most conventional in the world, but that didn’t matter. I was beginning to understand that convention didn’t much matter when you carried with you the weight and the comfort of love, of being loved and loving right back.
He cupped my face in his hands and smoothed his thumbs lightly over my cheeks, as though marveling at the magic of having me right there underneath him, where I belonged. I smiled into the kiss as he parted my lips with his tongue, deepening this, taking it further, to where we both needed it to go. Before, sex had been an escape from everything that was happening, but now it was a gift; a gift that we gave ourselves and each other in equal measure. A pleasure that we owed each other.
He slipped his hand down and between my legs, pushing up the hem of the skirt that I was wearing and cupping my pussy through my underwear; I remembered the first time with him, when I had taken him to my bed after knowing him in person for just a few hours. I could vividly recall the questions I’d asked about whether or not this was a good idea, and how easily I had dismissed them when he had kissed me outside the flat.
Joseph slid down, kissing my neck, my collar, my chest, slowly unbuttoning the blouse that I had been wearing and pushing it open; he continued down, over my bra, my belly, my navel, lower, lower, lower, until there was no space left between his mouth and my underwear. He ran his tongue along the shape of them pressed against my skin, and I couldn’t help but let out a moan of delight at the mere sight of him teasing me like that. He knew just what he did to me and he enjoyed every second of it, and knowing that this was stirring him to hardness the same way it was softening me to wetness was getting me so hot I could hardly bear it.
"You smell so good," he murmured, and he kissed the corner of my hip again before he looped his fingers around the fabric and slowly slipped it down over my hips.
He let out this soft groan as he exposed me like that; I loved the sound he made when he was hot for me, when he was ready and heady with the need of everything that I was giving him. I arched my back a little, pushed my hips back towards him, and the puff of pubic hair on my mound grazed over his skin. He looked up at me, his eyes burning with want, and he roughly pushed apart my thighs and lowered his mouth between my legs.
When he went down on me, it was like he wanted to feast there all night long; I cried up as soon as I felt his tongue against my clit, so familiar now, but just as amazing as it had felt the first time he had done it. I reached down and ran my fingers through his hair, pulling him on to me like I couldn’t handle waiting a moment longer, and he grasped my thighs to keep me in place and lowered his tongue down to my slit. He pushed himself inside of me, and warmth and wetness of his soft tongue as he slipped inside me made my head explode into a chaos of stars and sensation and more than I could take in or take on. My hands fell to my sides once again, clutching at the couch for support, and my mouth opened and closed as I tried to find the words or the sounds to express how he made me feel.
He replaced his tongue with his fingers, and focused his oral attention on my clitoris once more; I lay there and let him pleasure me, unable to think or move or speak, struck dumb by everything that he was doing between my legs. Every now and then, I would look down and watch him between my thighs, remind myself of the fact that yes, he really wanted me, and yes, this was really happening, and yes, he had heard all those dark parts of me and accepted them at once. There were no more secrets between us now, nothing that I had to worry that he would reject me for. We had been through everything and come out the other side stronger and surer for all of it. I knew that nothing would pull us apart now, nothing could even come close to trying.
I felt that stirring, lusty need between my legs, as he sealed his lips around my clit and began to suck and lick softly. Every inch of my skin was prickling, and I smiled and tipped my head back against the soft cushion behind me as I felt myself edging closer and closer and closer...
He let out a long groan, and that was it, that was all I needed. Knowing that he was getting off on this just the same way I was tipped me over the edge and I came. It was the vibration of the sound that he made, as though I could feel it deep inside of me. Like he could speak himself into me, and I would hear every single word of it. I pushed my hips against his face and held them there, feeling the softness of his mouth up against me, letting myself get lost to it. The whole universe had narrowed to only include the two of us, and there was a hopeless bliss to letting that sweep through me, control everything.
By the time that he pulled his mouth away from me, my belly was rising and falling swiftly, and I knew that I needed to feel him inside of me. I needed that fullness, his body inside of mine; he seemed to sense it, and pulled me up onto his lap. I didn’t even think about slipping on a condom. I didn’t want anything between us, anything keeping us apart.
He unbuckled his jeans and wrapped his arms around me, gripping me by my hips and slowly guiding me down onto his straining erection. I gasped as soon as I felt him push into me – that sensation, that feeling, I was never going to get tired of it. To be filled like that, had, taken, and to give myself to him just the same way.
"You feel so good," he murmured to me, and he slipped his hand over my back and grasped the back of my neck, his hand on the line of my spine, drawing me close, driving me down on top of him. He held me steady as he thrust up and into me, going hard and slow, letting me get lost to the feeling of his body against mine. I gripped my thighs either side of him and rocked back and forth, leaning back so that I could look into his eyes and marvel at how beautiful he was when he was fucking me. His eyes were a little glazed, his mouth parted, but I knew that I was the only thing on his mind.
We moved like that for a while, taking our time, taking it slow, until there was nothing left to say or do but come; I could see him holding back, making an effort not to finish until I had come again, and I giggled and traced my finger down the V of his shirt, the fabric straining against his strong chest.
"I want to feel you cum inside of me," I murmured to him. And that was all he seemed to have been waiting for. I felt his cock twitch inside of me, and he filled me up; I felt like I was fulfilling some addiction, the relief of feeling him finish inside of me enough to push me over the edge again myself. My pussy clenched around him, as though clutching hold of him, and I gasped and buried my face into his neck to let the rush of it course through me. There was an intimacy to this, an intimacy that I never wanted to let go of when it came to him. He slowly drew himself out of me, lifting me from his lap, and I flopped down on the couch beside him and sprawled there. He ran his hand over my thigh and laughed.
"Good?" He asked, and I nodded.
"More than good," I agreed, and I closed my eyes and let my head rest back against the arm of the couch behind me.
"I’m going to get you a glass of wine," he told me, but his voice sounded distant, distracting. I nodded, managing that, at least, and listened to his footsteps as he walked away from me.
This was really happening. It had been sealed with a kiss now – well, with a fuck, really, if I was being honest with myself. But he wanted me with him. He wanted me to come to Orkney with him. And yeah, okay, that did scare me more than a little; the thought of starting over somewhere new after so long committed to this way of life was hard for me to wrap my head around. This was hardly the change that I had expected when I had embraced all of this, back then, back at the start of the summer when all of this had felt so exciting and new and necessary for me to move on.
But this was what I had needed. I had needed to meet someone like Joseph, someone who was going to change the way that I approached the rest of my life. Someone I had to break my rules for. It was scary, sure, but scary in the best way possible. I would have just dismissed that all before, told myself that the life I was living now was perfectly fine and that getting in the way of that was only going to make things worse. I would have stuck with what I had been doing, for fear of trying something new.
Joseph returned with the glass of wine for me and handed it to me as he sank down into the couch beside me.
"You planning on putting on clothes anytime soon, or...?" He asked, trailing his fingers over my bare belly. I shook my head.
"Nope," I replied cheerfully. "Don’t see any reason to."
