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“Don’t move.” Rising from the floor, I go to the bathroom cabinet, pull out the tampon, and take it back to the toilet. She’s still wiping her tears when I kneel back between her legs.
I unwrap the applicator and gently insert it for her. She stares at me in shock as I care for her, but I just want to give hersomething.Some comfort or relief. I wish I could fucking help her so she never had to feel this pain anymore.
A little period blood doesn’t faze me, but I know how much it breaks her heart. Helping her is the least I can do.
I won’t ask her to talk about it now. I’m sure she needs time, but there’s a part of me that is protective of her. And I hate that she’s putting herself through this. When will enough be enough?
After she’s clean, I wash my hands and find her some fresh underwear and sweatpants from the dresser in the bedroom. When she stands from the toilet, I ease the underwear and pants into place. Then, I kiss her head.
She buries her face against my chest. “Thank you.”
“You don’t have to thank me, Briar. I’d do anything for you. Why don’t you lie down for a little while,” I say. “Can I bring you anything?”
She shakes her head before walking to her bed and lying on top of the covers.
“Just try to relax, okay?” I say.
She nods. “I will.”
“Mo-om!” Abby’s small voice calls from downstairs. I stand from the bed.
“I’ve got her,” I say, leaving Briar’s side. I turn off the main light and close the curtains so the room is dim for her.
“Where’s Mommy?” Abby asks when I reach the bottom of the stairs.
“She’s not feeling well. Leave your mom alone for a while.” I ruffle the hair on top of her head.
“I’m hungry,” she says, clutching her stomach like she’s about to die of starvation.
“You’re always hungry.”
“Will you make me something?” she asks.
“Sure. What do you want?” I reply, leading her to the kitchen.
She hops up on the dining room chair. “Um…macaroni and cheese.”
“Good choice.”
Rummaging through the pantry, I find the box of mac and cheese. While I cook, Abby colors at the table. Watching her while the water boils, I feel this strange warmth in my chest.
She’s annoying as hell and messy and gross and can’t hold still for one fucking second, but dammit…she’s pretty cute at the same time. And if anyone hurt a single hair on her head, I’d kill them.
While Abby and I eat our lunch, I send a quick text to my dad.
Hey, something came up. I don’t know if I’ll be able to stop by before work. But I’ll be there tomorrow.
He doesn’t respond, but I don’t think about it too much. After lunch, Abby wants to play outside. Before we go, I jog up the stairs to check on Briar. She’s sleeping peacefully on her bed, nuzzled up in a thick, white robe. I drape a blanket over her legs and kiss her head.
Forty-Two
Briar
When I come downstairs from my nap, I stop at the bottom step, admiring the scene in the living room. Dean is lying on the couch asleep with Abby curled up at his side.
As the bottom step creaks, his eyes pop open. He holds up a finger to signal me to be quiet as Abby naps.
“Thank you,” I whisper, leaning on the arm of the couch. “I needed that.”
